You say you want the good first? Okay. Tim Stauffer. A little early to call him a savior, but you have got to admire a guy who comes out awfully shaky in his first big league showing then somehow manages to make it a jewel. Wow, does this bode well for the future. Just to avoid argument, I'll say I'm sure he needed that month or so in AAA to refine his skills to the point where he could handle the bigs. That's why we started Tim "I can't come up with a nickname that adequately describes how bad this guy pitched" Redding. Maybe this Stauffer thing will finally allow me to bury that horse. Side note on this is that it kind of sucked that no one got to see this kid get his first start, cause it was at, like, 10:00 in the morning or something. Oh my God!
Now for the bad. And this isn't a rag on the team too much...but it is a little. The Padres are 1.5 games behind the D-backs and the Southern California Empire of Evil (Empire of Evil, not Evil Empire. that's the Yankees. Mine is different. Don't call me unoriginal or I will totally freak out!). On the surface, this would seem like good news. As in, we are so in it. However, though the SCEE and the Padres share a tough six game stretch, flip flopping the Braves and the Marlins, the Rattlers get the Rockies and the seriously flagging Asstros. This could get ugly as we face a Marlins squad that gives up about 3 runs a week. I can hear them now, "Are you kidding me? Not a single starter hitting .300? The MEAT of your order is batting a collective .257? Where is the hidden camera? Did I win a bet with God?" If we can hit against these guys, I promise to start to believe. But don't hold your breath. So the Snakes have a big chance to take a sizable lead. That's the bad news. And why do I blame the team and not unfortunate scheduling? Because as I've said before, we should already be 4 or 5 games out in first. Plain and simple. The planets were aligned perfectly and we let the Dodgers get hot on us. We let everybody in, and its going to be a bitch getting them out. Better start trying with earnest this week, fellas.
Quick thoughts on other shtuff...
The producers of The Amazing Race totally hosed Rob and Amber by paying off American Airlines to park that plane and let the winning couple on. Weak (Amber's hot and I always root for the hot girl. It cuts down on decision making.).
That blonde chick on the Apprentice is a retard. How do these reality TV camera whores constantly act like they have no idea they're being filmed? If that twit wins I'll...Oh, I guess I don't really care. Seriously, I only saw three episodes. Its not an addiction. BTW, I think running an Olympic committee event with real Olympic athletes would be a little harder than introducing a new video game with Fabolous. Set up!
Who didn't know Carter would end up moving to African to be with his dead baby mama? Although, I don't get it, personally, since the show has done everything it can to portray her as a fickle ball of dramatic thunder. Come to think of it, though, the writers on this show have really gone the route of portraying all the women on this show as weak or straight up nut bags. Except for the crippled lesbian, who's just a bitch. Those writers are on!
I really like the show Lost right now, but I gotta say I'm a little worried about where this whole thing is going. The way the show has built up the myriad mysteries, can the payoffs possibly live up to the hype? I hope so, but I am skeptical. Evangeline Lilly is pretty hot , though, so I'll keep watching. You know, cause I root for the hot girl.
I've slipped back into 2nd place in my fantasy league, and I've had to start shaking things up a bit. I was unfortunate enough to pick up Jamie Moyer right before he started sucking, so I have to hope he holds up until David Wells gets back. I remember Wells looking pretty good after recovering from a ridiculous injury last year. Shingo Takatsu is losing his grip on the closer's job to Dustin Hermanson, and now I have to hope that he gets me at least a save or two until Joe Borowski comes back for the Cubbies. That's assuming that Ryan Dempster doesn't lock up the save spot for them in the meantime. And, in a move that's sure to make my co-host snicker, it looks like its time to let Barry Bonds go. Figures I've never had him on my team before this. But who do I pick up? Juan Pierre? Chase Utley? Tough call.
Well, that's that. Let's hope for a great weekend of Padres baseball, and a humdinger of a block party. Go Padres!!
Friday, May 13, 2005
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Let's Just Call it an Update...
Well, it seems as if the fun over here never stops. Saturday morning normally breeds a new day, a chance to see the wonderful coastlines soaked in sun and much more candy than the average eyes need to see. This Saturday saw all of the above, although at a much earlier time of day than would be considered healthy or normal. The usual attendands were spouting their ritual lines of "No Dumbshit Questions" and the like, and the 6 a.m. line was a bit slower moving this season than even I would like, we eventually made the run through the Gauntlet, got the business end of the annual beach game taken care of and followed it up with monster breakfast burritos and afternoon games of cards. Transitioning into the crew taking over part of the foosball capital and early to bed for Mom's day. Then this weekender got interesting...
It seems that we have had our first major casualty of the '05 season. It all kicked off with the inevitable shellacking of the Pads in St. Louis, but that was not to be unexpected. Most of the guys got the day off when this thing got out of control early and seeing as how the guys have it rolling right now, I couldn't have cared less that we sent this one in early. Some went out to partake in the daily games that include sand, and bikini hunting, while others tried to quell this flu like death mucus monster that had invaded our skulls.
This weekend should bring some good homestand baseballing with the fish in town. Pitching will be at a premium in our pitcher friendly park and I think there may even be some tickets in my future for a Friday night under the lights in the Gaslamp. Saturday brings Block Party fun, complete with a home base that will be more than adequately stocked with the necessary requirements and hopefully some happy sunshine will cooperate and make the clothing very optional for the bikini wearers in the crew. Good food, good fun, good coldness and good bands all within a two block radius of the homestead. All are invited and welcome... if more details are necessary, you should know how by now to get a hold of me.
Missed the game tonight, hopefully we schooled the opposing squad soundly, if not, well, there is always tomorrow...
It seems that we have had our first major casualty of the '05 season. It all kicked off with the inevitable shellacking of the Pads in St. Louis, but that was not to be unexpected. Most of the guys got the day off when this thing got out of control early and seeing as how the guys have it rolling right now, I couldn't have cared less that we sent this one in early. Some went out to partake in the daily games that include sand, and bikini hunting, while others tried to quell this flu like death mucus monster that had invaded our skulls.
This weekend should bring some good homestand baseballing with the fish in town. Pitching will be at a premium in our pitcher friendly park and I think there may even be some tickets in my future for a Friday night under the lights in the Gaslamp. Saturday brings Block Party fun, complete with a home base that will be more than adequately stocked with the necessary requirements and hopefully some happy sunshine will cooperate and make the clothing very optional for the bikini wearers in the crew. Good food, good fun, good coldness and good bands all within a two block radius of the homestead. All are invited and welcome... if more details are necessary, you should know how by now to get a hold of me.
Missed the game tonight, hopefully we schooled the opposing squad soundly, if not, well, there is always tomorrow...
Friday, May 06, 2005
Hey, Look! It's a Knee Ligament...
Okay. Point taken. I am sure that you have missed something here along the way down this here path of mine. I couldn’t care less what Sr. has to say about the damage that his kid is doing to poor innocent trees with feelings, nor the chunks of concrete mixing with blood and bone out there in wherever the hell it was that he tried to make nice with the earth. I was merely trying to point out the fact that this kid has gone off the rails of Ozzy’s version of a Japanese train through an apartment building.
I don’t really care what Sr. thinks, I just want someone to say, “Umm Kellen, uh yeah, your son over here could use some advice.” You’d think that pops would be grabbing Redux by the ears and drowning him in his superbike gas tank before lighting him on fire and hitting him with his belt. The kid is trying to be a professional football player for crying out loud. Somebody needs to get him to start acting like one, and it sure as hell isn’t going to be one of the Postal Brothers.
More weekend things I like:
-Bikini Clad Super Vixens
-Girls who take off their jackets
-More Tacos
-Rain Free Saturdays
-Block Parties that are 7 days away and patios that have kegs to celebrate. Yeah!!
-OTL
I don’t really care what Sr. thinks, I just want someone to say, “Umm Kellen, uh yeah, your son over here could use some advice.” You’d think that pops would be grabbing Redux by the ears and drowning him in his superbike gas tank before lighting him on fire and hitting him with his belt. The kid is trying to be a professional football player for crying out loud. Somebody needs to get him to start acting like one, and it sure as hell isn’t going to be one of the Postal Brothers.
More weekend things I like:
-Bikini Clad Super Vixens
-Girls who take off their jackets
-More Tacos
-Rain Free Saturdays
-Block Parties that are 7 days away and patios that have kegs to celebrate. Yeah!!
-OTL
What A Soldier.
Truth be told, I could give a flying turd about Winslow Sr.'s take on anything. Don't get me wrong, I will always fondly remember No. 80 for the heart and gusto with which he approached being a Bolt, but that was a long time ago. In the years since then he first pulled a disappearing act, and followed that by saying that his years of playing professional football meant nothing to him. He said it was a game, and not even a special time in his life. Then, as soon as Jr. starts to make it big in college, the tune changes. He's in broadcasting and football is once again an intrinsic part of his life. I understand that he has to support his son, who is after all, "The Chosen One," but I, as a pretty damn live and die with the Chargers fan, took his prior comments as an insult to all of us who loved him all those years. So he can go around acting like he never said those things, but I will not forget. Between those comments from Sr., and Jr.'s self proclaimed nicknames and far fetched military analogies, maybe Karma (if their is such a thing) takes the form of a parking lot curb from time to time.
Football? Okay, just this once, then Tacos!
Okay, here it goes, but I am in possession of one get out of jail free card and seeing as how I managed enough self restraint on Friday not to go tackle and marginally molest at least a little bit of Ms. Kournikova, I am entitled to it. And if you don’t think so, you can go running off right around the corner and go molest yourself...
Where the hell is Papa Winslow in all of this? Figurehead of the Chargers, one of the most outspoken, intelligent and proud Chargers to ever wear the awesomeness that is Bolt. Where is he while Winslow Redux is out doing his best, er, well, worst impression of Vin Diesel hyped up on crack in his XXX motorcycle stunt club? Are you even serious with all of this? The guy goes out and signs a multi million dollar deal to play football, plays two games, breaks a limb and is out for the season. Then, he rehabs, goes to a motorcycle stunt show, leaves via wheelie to find a parking lot complete with color surveillance camera and starts doing “Super Team Extreme Bad Ass Moto Skillz Stunts” on his glorified moped. Only to crash into a curb, hit a tree, knock off his melon guard, and guarantee himself some shattered bones and a first class playa’s ride via ambulance to Casa de Emergencia. Where they build a bone and screw collection, reinflate his lung and install a baboon’s kidney to replace the one that hit a tree. Ummm, Dad? Dad? Where are you? Why aren’t you teaching your MENSA, perfect SAT son how to act like a professional? What the hell is going on here? Oh, and in the genius’ contract, it says, “NO MOTORCYCLES EVER LEST YOU GO TO HELL WITH GONORRHEA!!!” or something pretty close to that. Moron.
So, that being said, on to the Weekend List of things I like:
-Anna Kournikova
- Tacos
-Sunny days at the beach
-Pop Tart breakfast at the Beachcomber tomorrow a.m.
That’s it.
Where the hell is Papa Winslow in all of this? Figurehead of the Chargers, one of the most outspoken, intelligent and proud Chargers to ever wear the awesomeness that is Bolt. Where is he while Winslow Redux is out doing his best, er, well, worst impression of Vin Diesel hyped up on crack in his XXX motorcycle stunt club? Are you even serious with all of this? The guy goes out and signs a multi million dollar deal to play football, plays two games, breaks a limb and is out for the season. Then, he rehabs, goes to a motorcycle stunt show, leaves via wheelie to find a parking lot complete with color surveillance camera and starts doing “Super Team Extreme Bad Ass Moto Skillz Stunts” on his glorified moped. Only to crash into a curb, hit a tree, knock off his melon guard, and guarantee himself some shattered bones and a first class playa’s ride via ambulance to Casa de Emergencia. Where they build a bone and screw collection, reinflate his lung and install a baboon’s kidney to replace the one that hit a tree. Ummm, Dad? Dad? Where are you? Why aren’t you teaching your MENSA, perfect SAT son how to act like a professional? What the hell is going on here? Oh, and in the genius’ contract, it says, “NO MOTORCYCLES EVER LEST YOU GO TO HELL WITH GONORRHEA!!!” or something pretty close to that. Moron.
So, that being said, on to the Weekend List of things I like:
-Anna Kournikova
- Tacos
-Sunny days at the beach
-Pop Tart breakfast at the Beachcomber tomorrow a.m.
That’s it.
I Was All Ready To Get Bombed Last Night.
Then one of my friends pointed out ot me that, although I am a lot of things, Mexican is not one of them. So, instead I mixed me up a little Admiral Nelson (I'm pretty sure he's the guy who finally brought Captain Morgan to justice) and Coke and set about watching what I was sure would be another typical Padres foray into St. Louis. Ugly, ugly, and more ugly. How delightful it was to be utterly mistaken for the first time in my life.
Now I'm not going to get all excited, and start with the, "Oh yeah, Giles is completely back to form and will never slump again!," like the announcers. and I'm certainly not going to get all, "Finally, the Padres are ready to assert themselves as the obvious dominant presense in the NL West!" The time for that particular sentence has not only passed, but is yet to come, if at all (Do they give achievement awards for sentences that even the writer can't understand?).
What I will do, however, is give a little credit to a guy who has gotten almost none thus far this year. While I admit that I unleashed my own string of F-bombs after Sean Burroughs became the second Padres baserunner to get picked off by the freaking catcher last night, I have to tip my hat to the man for going right back out there and putting on a clinic on how to field the position of 3rd base. Here's a literary pat on the back for you, Burroughs. You earned it big time last night.
So, good game Friars! Now let's go out there and win a couple more of these big league contests so me and the boys can get all excited and annoyingly myopic again!
P.S. Off topic a bit, here, but Shaun Merriman and the Poston brothers can go eat a chode.
P.P.S. Oh, and I almost forgot! Even though not a single one of my starting pitchers has been able to register a win this week, I have managed to take control of first place in my fantasy baseball league, mostly due to some fancy batwork by the likes of guys such as Miguel Cabrera and Alfonso Soriano! Way to go not real team!
Now I'm not going to get all excited, and start with the, "Oh yeah, Giles is completely back to form and will never slump again!," like the announcers. and I'm certainly not going to get all, "Finally, the Padres are ready to assert themselves as the obvious dominant presense in the NL West!" The time for that particular sentence has not only passed, but is yet to come, if at all (Do they give achievement awards for sentences that even the writer can't understand?).
What I will do, however, is give a little credit to a guy who has gotten almost none thus far this year. While I admit that I unleashed my own string of F-bombs after Sean Burroughs became the second Padres baserunner to get picked off by the freaking catcher last night, I have to tip my hat to the man for going right back out there and putting on a clinic on how to field the position of 3rd base. Here's a literary pat on the back for you, Burroughs. You earned it big time last night.
So, good game Friars! Now let's go out there and win a couple more of these big league contests so me and the boys can get all excited and annoyingly myopic again!
P.S. Off topic a bit, here, but Shaun Merriman and the Poston brothers can go eat a chode.
P.P.S. Oh, and I almost forgot! Even though not a single one of my starting pitchers has been able to register a win this week, I have managed to take control of first place in my fantasy baseball league, mostly due to some fancy batwork by the likes of guys such as Miguel Cabrera and Alfonso Soriano! Way to go not real team!
I Like Tacos...
Hey hey, happy day after cinco de Mayo. I guess that would make this seis de Mayo. In any case, it is painfully obvious that everyone in my local area is using this “holiday” as an excuse to go on a Robert Downey Jr. like four day weekend bender, as freeways are desolate and there was an abundance of “Walks of Shame” this a.m. Awesome.
Padre Talk? Okay. It’s been a good week for the guys. Last Friday’s marathon that we were able to attend was great, even though we missed the Kournikova by about one minute, and I have to say that I was weighing heavily the consequences of charging the mound and taking the girl out with a swift yet gentle tackle, hoping to brush up against something special on the way to the ground. I even had willing participants to bail me out and pay my fine, I mean come on, that is probably the closest that any of us will ever get to her. Yet, it did not happen. Dammit.
Slowly but surely the team is climbing back in to a successful position, so I think it best that I shut my rambling hole and let the game talk for me. Some guys that have been a little less than spectacular are starting to get a little more than warm, and I for one will not be the one to... I am just going to shut up now.
We did manage to make Sportscenter last night by being the first team in the ’05 season to have a triple play completed right on their heads. That was fun. I coughed up a much too loud f-drop at the gym watching it unfold. People like it when you yell out obscenities whilst they try to work out. Sue me. Your heads aren’t going to explode if you hear that kind of talk folks, get over it.
Seis de Mayo should be a good one for weekending. I am going home to grab my sombrero and eat some tacos.
Padre Talk? Okay. It’s been a good week for the guys. Last Friday’s marathon that we were able to attend was great, even though we missed the Kournikova by about one minute, and I have to say that I was weighing heavily the consequences of charging the mound and taking the girl out with a swift yet gentle tackle, hoping to brush up against something special on the way to the ground. I even had willing participants to bail me out and pay my fine, I mean come on, that is probably the closest that any of us will ever get to her. Yet, it did not happen. Dammit.
Slowly but surely the team is climbing back in to a successful position, so I think it best that I shut my rambling hole and let the game talk for me. Some guys that have been a little less than spectacular are starting to get a little more than warm, and I for one will not be the one to... I am just going to shut up now.
We did manage to make Sportscenter last night by being the first team in the ’05 season to have a triple play completed right on their heads. That was fun. I coughed up a much too loud f-drop at the gym watching it unfold. People like it when you yell out obscenities whilst they try to work out. Sue me. Your heads aren’t going to explode if you hear that kind of talk folks, get over it.
Seis de Mayo should be a good one for weekending. I am going home to grab my sombrero and eat some tacos.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Tennis Anyone?
Well, well, well. Near dead last in some pretty meaningful categories defensively. Not to say that the defensive problems are what’s causing the torrential drought in the offensive categories, but, hey, we need an explanation as much as the next guy. Far be it from the one that nobody wants to speak audibly, but there is still, as was discussed at length last year, an inescapable void in the middle of the batting order and it is just back burnered once again.
Oh yeah, I forgot, it’s April and we can’t expect much yet, those guys will get it going and we will be fine. Just like the way they got it going last year, never at the same time and not until the last month and a half of the season. So sure, let’s ignore the fact that Jason Bey and Oliver Perez are performing at major league levels while we overpay for their less productive replacement that pulls off the baseball during his swing the likes of which I have never seen. Can someone get Mr. Gwynn down there to help these guys with their swings? Perhaps if we can get them all to a mildly lukewarm state by June, there may still be some gas in the tank to perform like all the most fabulous, expert, pundits predicted we would and win the damned division. Can you hear that? That’s not the wonderful springtime rain you’re hearing, those are frustration drops folks! Yeah!
Tomorrow marks a great day in my life. It seems as if one of the members of the crew happened across four, count ‘em, four box seats to the game tomorrow night. Now, fortunately for me, I manage to fit into the top four, how the hell I managed that I don’t know, but I am on my way to Petcoland to triumphantly declare my faith publicly for the above mentioned team in person. Perfect in so many ways. An early evening trip to the historic Gaslamp District, followed by a happy hour somewhere in the vicinity of the park, preferably one serving icy cold bevies at price. Followed by a short trek to the baseballing Holy Land, to be supported by more nice, icy cold ones. As we are directed to the privileged seating area, (if they only knew me they’d be directing me to the exits) we are to be treated like Golden Gods and showered with riches, and virgins and overwhelming feelings of happiness until our black hearts are content with significantly high levels of debauchery. We are to be seated in cushioned thrones to see the one and only Miss Anna Kournikova bounce and jiggle her way to the mound to ceremoniously heave the first strike in the general vicinity of the home plate area. Hopefully it’s cold, windy, raining profusely, and she insists on wearing white. Oh, and then the whole game thing...it’s beanie night too.
Oh yeah, I forgot, it’s April and we can’t expect much yet, those guys will get it going and we will be fine. Just like the way they got it going last year, never at the same time and not until the last month and a half of the season. So sure, let’s ignore the fact that Jason Bey and Oliver Perez are performing at major league levels while we overpay for their less productive replacement that pulls off the baseball during his swing the likes of which I have never seen. Can someone get Mr. Gwynn down there to help these guys with their swings? Perhaps if we can get them all to a mildly lukewarm state by June, there may still be some gas in the tank to perform like all the most fabulous, expert, pundits predicted we would and win the damned division. Can you hear that? That’s not the wonderful springtime rain you’re hearing, those are frustration drops folks! Yeah!
Tomorrow marks a great day in my life. It seems as if one of the members of the crew happened across four, count ‘em, four box seats to the game tomorrow night. Now, fortunately for me, I manage to fit into the top four, how the hell I managed that I don’t know, but I am on my way to Petcoland to triumphantly declare my faith publicly for the above mentioned team in person. Perfect in so many ways. An early evening trip to the historic Gaslamp District, followed by a happy hour somewhere in the vicinity of the park, preferably one serving icy cold bevies at price. Followed by a short trek to the baseballing Holy Land, to be supported by more nice, icy cold ones. As we are directed to the privileged seating area, (if they only knew me they’d be directing me to the exits) we are to be treated like Golden Gods and showered with riches, and virgins and overwhelming feelings of happiness until our black hearts are content with significantly high levels of debauchery. We are to be seated in cushioned thrones to see the one and only Miss Anna Kournikova bounce and jiggle her way to the mound to ceremoniously heave the first strike in the general vicinity of the home plate area. Hopefully it’s cold, windy, raining profusely, and she insists on wearing white. Oh, and then the whole game thing...it’s beanie night too.
We're The Best In The League At Some Stuff.
You know its bad. I mean, I'm Brother Holy Gatling Gun of Patience over here, and I don't think I can take it anymore. In case you didn't fire open the UT this morning let me fill you in. Aside from the fact that the fifth spot in our rotation hasn't won a game in nearly a year (take that, dead horse!), the Padres lead the league in errors (18), unearned runs (15), and...um...having the worst fielding percentage (.978).
I really wish I hadn't put a moratorium on one of those two words the other day, but I did, and so I thought I would honor it by checking my thesaurus for other options. Unfortunately the thesaurus is pretty literal, and that particular word, used in the sense that most people use it when describing the Padres, is a slang term. So instead of great adjectives (verbs? Who knows? Nobody. Grammar is a mystery to man.) like blow, stink, or flat out disgust me, I got returns like consume and inhale. Whatever.
At this point I say we throw out a pitching machine and nine gloves on a stick every fifth day and work on our batting. Go Pa- Oh screw it!!!
I really wish I hadn't put a moratorium on one of those two words the other day, but I did, and so I thought I would honor it by checking my thesaurus for other options. Unfortunately the thesaurus is pretty literal, and that particular word, used in the sense that most people use it when describing the Padres, is a slang term. So instead of great adjectives (verbs? Who knows? Nobody. Grammar is a mystery to man.) like blow, stink, or flat out disgust me, I got returns like consume and inhale. Whatever.
At this point I say we throw out a pitching machine and nine gloves on a stick every fifth day and work on our batting. Go Pa- Oh screw it!!!
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Not So Gritty On Wednesday.
Was it less painful for you to watch them just hand it over, never making it exciting in the least? I don't know how to feel anymore. This game isn't even technically over. Its 10-3 in the top of the ninth. Felipe Alou just changed pitchers. Whatever. Just get it over with already.
For those of you who may or may not care. Both of our potential 5 spot guys got to pitch in today's game. The lines, you ask? Here you go:
Tim Redding: 3.1 IP, 6 H, 5 ER, 3 BB
Darrell May: 1.1 IP, 5 H, 3 ER, 3 BB
No one calls them Ismael. Game just ended. 1 for 5 on the road trip. Go padres...
For those of you who may or may not care. Both of our potential 5 spot guys got to pitch in today's game. The lines, you ask? Here you go:
Tim Redding: 3.1 IP, 6 H, 5 ER, 3 BB
Darrell May: 1.1 IP, 5 H, 3 ER, 3 BB
No one calls them Ismael. Game just ended. 1 for 5 on the road trip. Go padres...
Alaskan Crab Fishing is Dangerous?
It’s safe to say that there are many things that I would have rather been doing last night than watching the end result of what was a pretty good baseball game. Most of them involved either Lindsay Lohan or midgets, but one thing is clear, that was really tough to watch there at the end. We played gritty, gutty baseball. Then the Bondsless Giants did the same. So we got a bit grittier and guttier. And, so did they. Once more, there near the end, it was clear that we had to be the grittiest, guttiest baseballing crew that has ever been assembled, and the guys ponied up. And, then, so did they. Really gets to you sometimes, you know, it was just one of those painful stepping on a rusty nail kind of games. Had this been a playoff game, well, let’s just thank the hot chicks who marry for money that it wasn’t...
All in all, nothing was done particularly well, and at the same time nothing was done particularly horribly. It was just good, exciting, almost fundamentally sound baseball. Fun game to watch, as I said, until the end, at which time I began wearing out the remote buttons in between pitches out of some kind of nervous, Tourette’s like tick. I couldn’t stay static on the one channel, but then some kind of nuclear powered magnetic force would suck me right back to the game. I even missed Phil’s late inning heroics; I couldn’t stand the view, changed channels, came back and saw the results just a bit too late. Took the network about ten minutes to get me a replay and I was a bit dismayed that I missed it live. But the outcome was still the same. Tie game. And then it wasn’t.
Day game today that is curiously being shown on t.v. Why they show the day games on t.v. is beyond me as it makes about as much sense as air fresheners in an outhouse. I am starting to get to a point where I think this team needs a good old fashioned winning streak to get them playing their best baseball. It almost seems like there is this cloud, maybe more like a storm of doubt showering these guys at the plate. Give ‘em a little taste of the good stuff and watch them take off head first. Where are those hot chicks at right now? Somebody get them over to the Omni and start a huge hot chick party for the guys. Maybe get them to relax a bit, and start playing baseball dammit.
All in all, nothing was done particularly well, and at the same time nothing was done particularly horribly. It was just good, exciting, almost fundamentally sound baseball. Fun game to watch, as I said, until the end, at which time I began wearing out the remote buttons in between pitches out of some kind of nervous, Tourette’s like tick. I couldn’t stay static on the one channel, but then some kind of nuclear powered magnetic force would suck me right back to the game. I even missed Phil’s late inning heroics; I couldn’t stand the view, changed channels, came back and saw the results just a bit too late. Took the network about ten minutes to get me a replay and I was a bit dismayed that I missed it live. But the outcome was still the same. Tie game. And then it wasn’t.
Day game today that is curiously being shown on t.v. Why they show the day games on t.v. is beyond me as it makes about as much sense as air fresheners in an outhouse. I am starting to get to a point where I think this team needs a good old fashioned winning streak to get them playing their best baseball. It almost seems like there is this cloud, maybe more like a storm of doubt showering these guys at the plate. Give ‘em a little taste of the good stuff and watch them take off head first. Where are those hot chicks at right now? Somebody get them over to the Omni and start a huge hot chick party for the guys. Maybe get them to relax a bit, and start playing baseball dammit.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
There's That Word Again.
What word you ask? Consistency. My favorite. We are an extremely consistent ball club right now. We consistently beat the Giants (There's your whammy people), and we are consistently beaten to death by just about everybody else. The Dodgers are also a consistent team. They are consistently my least favorite team ever, right now. Don't even start.
I have to admit, I'm not terribly surprised that the Diamondbacks are back in the thick of things here in the NL West. There is some talent on that team, and the guys who are supposed to produce (Glaus, Vazquez?) are starting to do just that. This ain't rocket science people. When your key guys produce, you tend to fair better than when they don't (channeling Madden here). I'm not pointing any fingers or anything, I'm just saying is all.
I will, however give just a little bit of credit where credit is due. And this is hard for me because what I'm about to say pretty much confirms that I was, well, wrong. Kevin Towers and Co. can go right ahead and say, "Told you so dumb ass!" Woody Williams puts up another solid performance last night, after a shaky start to the season, while a couple of thousand or so miles away our boy Boomer is busy nursing a busted foot that is likely to keep him out for at least a month. The Sox say he was going after a slow roller the other night. Must have been in the living room cause those bottles roll pretty quick across the linoleum in the kitchen.
Anyway (said the guy trying to weasel himself out of the mind numbing conversation involving financial gain through marriage), I have decided that for a little while I am putting a moratorium on the words "suck" and "rule." They just make me look stupid and/or bitter (which anyone who knows me can tell you is terribly far off-base). So, go Padres! Or don't. Whatever.
I have to admit, I'm not terribly surprised that the Diamondbacks are back in the thick of things here in the NL West. There is some talent on that team, and the guys who are supposed to produce (Glaus, Vazquez?) are starting to do just that. This ain't rocket science people. When your key guys produce, you tend to fair better than when they don't (channeling Madden here). I'm not pointing any fingers or anything, I'm just saying is all.
I will, however give just a little bit of credit where credit is due. And this is hard for me because what I'm about to say pretty much confirms that I was, well, wrong. Kevin Towers and Co. can go right ahead and say, "Told you so dumb ass!" Woody Williams puts up another solid performance last night, after a shaky start to the season, while a couple of thousand or so miles away our boy Boomer is busy nursing a busted foot that is likely to keep him out for at least a month. The Sox say he was going after a slow roller the other night. Must have been in the living room cause those bottles roll pretty quick across the linoleum in the kitchen.
Anyway (said the guy trying to weasel himself out of the mind numbing conversation involving financial gain through marriage), I have decided that for a little while I am putting a moratorium on the words "suck" and "rule." They just make me look stupid and/or bitter (which anyone who knows me can tell you is terribly far off-base). So, go Padres! Or don't. Whatever.
You Got What On Your SAT's?
Certain things just don’t need to be discussed sometimes. Like, when your buddy had a bit too much to drink from the fountain o’ courage and decides that he like girls that are in the same weight class as he is. Sure, it’s usually based on mutual attraction, and about five too many drinks from Grandpa’s custom bottle of cough syrup, but nonetheless, it generally goes unmentioned out of pity to all of those involved. On that note, I didn’t see anything even resembling Padres baseball and magic brooms out in Phoenix this past weekend. I didn’t participate in any television watching that may or may not have included us dropping three consecutive games out in Arizona. I especially didn’t see one Troy Glaus play Padre Killer to the tune of what looked to be about 12 doubles and 30 RBI. And I certainly didn’t see a wasted effort on a Saturday night by my lock for the Cy Young award, at the very least for the month of April, I was too busy discussing marriage for money options with some smokin’ hot chicks. All the while taking in this beautiful tidbit, that with enough money, any of the girls in the room should, could, and would call themselves Mrs. Insert Last Name Here. Just a nice relaxing weekend in the partially sunny climate here in San Diego.
I did happen to return to the world of Baseball this past Monday night, while shirking my duties as a birthday escort. Geoff Blum is making a solid case to be included in the all under- rated squads here in the greater San Diego area. There are a few guys in the lineup that the bat plague has yet to reach. Geoff did his best to build us a lead and the pitchers took care of the rest. Good Work guys. The season is still young and with enough trips to the free clinic we may be able to oust this virus that is infecting the baseball swings of our everyday lineup. Whatever was in the water this spring, I would recommend getting as far away from it as possible, or perhaps start bottling it and selling it to some of the hot hitting opponents. Starting with that Glaus character…
Tonight we are back in the Bay Area, looks to me like Adam Eaton v. Jason Schmidt. Looks to me like an interesting match up. I hope it’s cold and the wind is blowing out and that Jason Schmidt has a sore elbow. I hope those guys out in the bay get holes in their kayaks and sink like stones only to resurface cold and miserable. I hope J.T. Snow trips over first base and bleeds out of both hands so that every trip to the restroom is a memorable one. I hope that Moises Alou gets his hand soaking liquid mixed up with Pedro Feliz’ Gatorade. Oh, and I hope that we win...
I did happen to return to the world of Baseball this past Monday night, while shirking my duties as a birthday escort. Geoff Blum is making a solid case to be included in the all under- rated squads here in the greater San Diego area. There are a few guys in the lineup that the bat plague has yet to reach. Geoff did his best to build us a lead and the pitchers took care of the rest. Good Work guys. The season is still young and with enough trips to the free clinic we may be able to oust this virus that is infecting the baseball swings of our everyday lineup. Whatever was in the water this spring, I would recommend getting as far away from it as possible, or perhaps start bottling it and selling it to some of the hot hitting opponents. Starting with that Glaus character…
Tonight we are back in the Bay Area, looks to me like Adam Eaton v. Jason Schmidt. Looks to me like an interesting match up. I hope it’s cold and the wind is blowing out and that Jason Schmidt has a sore elbow. I hope those guys out in the bay get holes in their kayaks and sink like stones only to resurface cold and miserable. I hope J.T. Snow trips over first base and bleeds out of both hands so that every trip to the restroom is a memorable one. I hope that Moises Alou gets his hand soaking liquid mixed up with Pedro Feliz’ Gatorade. Oh, and I hope that we win...
Friday, April 22, 2005
Death Comes Ripping.
Can't say I ever doubted this baseballing club for a minute. Tremendous showing last night. Might Eaton finally be turning that corner? Klesko, is he finally back to 100%? This would be sports hack says yes.
The trick is to watch the game out of the corner of your eye. If I sit there and stare straight at the TV, I am time and again punished for my efforts. But if I glance at the TV from time to time or check the score on my cell phone I am rewarded with baseball riches beyond my wildest dreams. Boo. Yah. At this point I'm thinking I should probably never actually go to a game again. Or at least, if I do, spend the entire night in the Omni club, sneaking food from the buffet and getting hammered on over priced libations while occasionally asking the guy next to me what time the game starts and if he wants to arm wrestle. I think I can take him, he's old. This, of course, would be new territory for me.
Tonight our boys face off with the Arizona Diamondbacks. Dare I say sweep? Hell yes, sweep. Sweep the whole damn season! If this one victory over the Dodgers has taught me anything, its that the Padres are the best damn baseball swatting outfit in the bigs. And doesn't it stand to reason that if you're the best damn baseball swatting outfit in the bigs, you should win every damn baseball contest you're involved in? This is simple arithmatic, people. Monkeys solve more complex equations with their toes!
So, in summation, the Padres rule, and every other team? That's right, they drool. Go Padres!!!
P.S. Second place in the old fantasy league. Thanks for that complete game shut out win yesterday Carpenter. Against the Cubs too. Your too good to me. Peace, I'm out!
The trick is to watch the game out of the corner of your eye. If I sit there and stare straight at the TV, I am time and again punished for my efforts. But if I glance at the TV from time to time or check the score on my cell phone I am rewarded with baseball riches beyond my wildest dreams. Boo. Yah. At this point I'm thinking I should probably never actually go to a game again. Or at least, if I do, spend the entire night in the Omni club, sneaking food from the buffet and getting hammered on over priced libations while occasionally asking the guy next to me what time the game starts and if he wants to arm wrestle. I think I can take him, he's old. This, of course, would be new territory for me.
Tonight our boys face off with the Arizona Diamondbacks. Dare I say sweep? Hell yes, sweep. Sweep the whole damn season! If this one victory over the Dodgers has taught me anything, its that the Padres are the best damn baseball swatting outfit in the bigs. And doesn't it stand to reason that if you're the best damn baseball swatting outfit in the bigs, you should win every damn baseball contest you're involved in? This is simple arithmatic, people. Monkeys solve more complex equations with their toes!
So, in summation, the Padres rule, and every other team? That's right, they drool. Go Padres!!!
P.S. Second place in the old fantasy league. Thanks for that complete game shut out win yesterday Carpenter. Against the Cubs too. Your too good to me. Peace, I'm out!
Hey, Hey, That Looks Like Some Runs...
As a baseball prognosticator I will admit that I am not a smart man. But, in my defense, and to totally rationalize what happened on the ball field last night, I did that kind of mindless, negative forecasting to spark a fire under the bench of the old ball team. I knew that every one of those guys would read this before plate time, thus, turning their fire towards me and proving me wrong. We won, we won handily, my partner was right on with his thoughts, and we won because of me. Thanks me.
Fifteen hits, well that one went over.
Six Runs, well that one went over.
Left on Base, well that one went over, although I dispute the number that the statistics are providing, as they state we left 19 on base. That seems high to me. But, stats never lie do they?
The Big Three: Combined 5 for 10 with a walk and a bunch of RBI.
Klesko: 3 for 3, 5 RBI, 1 walk, made the other two’s 2 for 7 look a lot better.
Klesko had himself a night with a very solid looking, well balanced baseball swing. Instead of that George of the Jungle wild, flailing hack that he has been working on perfecting lately. He hit the ball solidly and with plenty of pep. Encouraging site to see that he is working on mellowing out that axe murderer swipe he was taking. Keep it up so we can have a day ‘o’ drinking at your expense.
Finally we were able to beat those Bums, now we ought to give it a try when one of their good pitchers is on the bump. Happy Friday of baseballing gents.
Fifteen hits, well that one went over.
Six Runs, well that one went over.
Left on Base, well that one went over, although I dispute the number that the statistics are providing, as they state we left 19 on base. That seems high to me. But, stats never lie do they?
The Big Three: Combined 5 for 10 with a walk and a bunch of RBI.
Klesko: 3 for 3, 5 RBI, 1 walk, made the other two’s 2 for 7 look a lot better.
Klesko had himself a night with a very solid looking, well balanced baseball swing. Instead of that George of the Jungle wild, flailing hack that he has been working on perfecting lately. He hit the ball solidly and with plenty of pep. Encouraging site to see that he is working on mellowing out that axe murderer swipe he was taking. Keep it up so we can have a day ‘o’ drinking at your expense.
Finally we were able to beat those Bums, now we ought to give it a try when one of their good pitchers is on the bump. Happy Friday of baseballing gents.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
No Way In H-e-l-l...
...is Scott Erickson beating up on us again! Damn it, this is the last chance I may give them for a while, so I'll see your predictions with some hysterical myopia.
Hits: I'll take the over. Way over. Like 14 hits, damn it!
LOB: Under. Ridiculously under, I say! 3 runners. That's it. 3.
Murderer's row: 9 for 15, 2 Walks, 11 RBI. Easy math, my friend. Easy math.
This evening's glorious 16-2 thrashing will jump start our 110 win season in high fashion. Mark my words.
What's my record on calling these kinds of things, anyway? And where did this empty bottle of Bourbon come from?
Hits: I'll take the over. Way over. Like 14 hits, damn it!
LOB: Under. Ridiculously under, I say! 3 runners. That's it. 3.
Murderer's row: 9 for 15, 2 Walks, 11 RBI. Easy math, my friend. Easy math.
This evening's glorious 16-2 thrashing will jump start our 110 win season in high fashion. Mark my words.
What's my record on calling these kinds of things, anyway? And where did this empty bottle of Bourbon come from?
Ahhh Baseball...
Bums. I hate those Bums.
Took a stroll to the old Petco last night, meandered through the concourses, past the agonizingly long beer lines, down to the unobstructed front row behind the bag numbering three and had a nice comfortable seat to watch another Padre masterpiece unfold. Unfortunately for me, I was surrounded by not Padre Blue, but Bum blue and I was subjected to their idiocy all the night long. I got to hear the sweet sounds of “Sweep” all night from a certain fan, of which I am sure really had no idea what was going on. You don’t sweep someone on the first night of the series as far as I can remember. But, no one ever accused Dodger fans of being Mensa members in disguise.
I knew I was in for a long night when the bevvie line I picked was moving twice as slow as the one directly to my left. The guy standing next to me in that line not only made it to the front twice as fast as I did, bought not one but two beers, made his way back to his seat, consumed said beers, made nice with one of the Bum’s wives, then got back in line and nearly beat me to the front of it again. Meanwhile I am staring down two Sony t.v.’s watching what is fast becoming routine for the squad. Lots of baserunners, lots of potential runs, lots of going home without any action. It felt like high school all over again.
Good thing that we chose the old camo uni’s last night, wouldn’t want anyone to see the baserunners out there being left for dead. In those cammies, you could barely see the 10 guys we left on base. They blended in so nicely with the dirt and grass, it’s like they were hiding out there.
Woody pitched well. Very well. Walked a bit too many for my liking but it didn’t come back to hurt him. Then, in the most opportune of times, in the tenth we decided to start kicking the ball around. Good timing being extra innings and all. It’s not like you can go out and throw the ball into left field and expect it not to hurt you when the two best hitters on the team are coming to the plate. Oh, and that Milton Bradley guy, if he tells the crowd to shhh one more time with that fat finger up to his lips I might start throwing batteries at his goddamned head. Sorry. I lost it for a minute…
Hey, at least we get to see more of the same tonight. So it’s time for what I want to introduce as the old “Item ‘O’ the Day”, we’ll make predictions (for sport only, no gambling. Hint, Hint!) and see how accurate we can become… so off we go.
Over/Under on hits tonight: 7.5
Over/Under Left on Base: 9
Combined totals at the plate for the aforementioned “Murderer’s Row”: 3 for 12 with 1 walk.
Let’s see how good I am…
Took a stroll to the old Petco last night, meandered through the concourses, past the agonizingly long beer lines, down to the unobstructed front row behind the bag numbering three and had a nice comfortable seat to watch another Padre masterpiece unfold. Unfortunately for me, I was surrounded by not Padre Blue, but Bum blue and I was subjected to their idiocy all the night long. I got to hear the sweet sounds of “Sweep” all night from a certain fan, of which I am sure really had no idea what was going on. You don’t sweep someone on the first night of the series as far as I can remember. But, no one ever accused Dodger fans of being Mensa members in disguise.
I knew I was in for a long night when the bevvie line I picked was moving twice as slow as the one directly to my left. The guy standing next to me in that line not only made it to the front twice as fast as I did, bought not one but two beers, made his way back to his seat, consumed said beers, made nice with one of the Bum’s wives, then got back in line and nearly beat me to the front of it again. Meanwhile I am staring down two Sony t.v.’s watching what is fast becoming routine for the squad. Lots of baserunners, lots of potential runs, lots of going home without any action. It felt like high school all over again.
Good thing that we chose the old camo uni’s last night, wouldn’t want anyone to see the baserunners out there being left for dead. In those cammies, you could barely see the 10 guys we left on base. They blended in so nicely with the dirt and grass, it’s like they were hiding out there.
Woody pitched well. Very well. Walked a bit too many for my liking but it didn’t come back to hurt him. Then, in the most opportune of times, in the tenth we decided to start kicking the ball around. Good timing being extra innings and all. It’s not like you can go out and throw the ball into left field and expect it not to hurt you when the two best hitters on the team are coming to the plate. Oh, and that Milton Bradley guy, if he tells the crowd to shhh one more time with that fat finger up to his lips I might start throwing batteries at his goddamned head. Sorry. I lost it for a minute…
Hey, at least we get to see more of the same tonight. So it’s time for what I want to introduce as the old “Item ‘O’ the Day”, we’ll make predictions (for sport only, no gambling. Hint, Hint!) and see how accurate we can become… so off we go.
Over/Under on hits tonight: 7.5
Over/Under Left on Base: 9
Combined totals at the plate for the aforementioned “Murderer’s Row”: 3 for 12 with 1 walk.
Let’s see how good I am…
Maybe They Should Have A Ladies Home Plate. Like In Golf.
Hmmm. Uhhh. Where do I start? The good, perhaps? Okay, Woody pitched a nice game. that was definitely good. And...oh, Ramon Hernandez continues to be a player you can be proud of. Uhhh...
I am not happy with this team. I can't even try to be eloquent about it. This is poo! Poo, I say. I do not like having to hope that my team can hold on to a 1 to 0 lead. Sickening. Fire everybody! This is the filthy, patchwork Dodgers here people. These guys are feasting on the division, and even if we turn it around now, we're going to end up chasing them all freaking year.
This was supposed to be our year. That's what people kept telling me. I'm sure that's what I heard. Almost our whole team returning. The Rockies suck. Arizona probably a year or two away. No Bonds for the Giants. The Dodgers would need time to gel. We were supposed to take a strong early lead in route to being this year's sacrificial lamb from the NL West. Screw these guys. Just like they try to screw themselves into the ground every stinking at bat.
Aren't you supposed to get excited when the heart of the order is up? Yeah, real murderer's row we got going on down there at Petco. Way to pepper the warning track with fly balls, gentlemen. Wait, that isn't even what's happening cause then you'd at least advance the runner.
I swear to God, I am over it. I am going to start rooting for the team with the biggest payroll from now on, because I am sick of the heartbreak. Your ballpark sucks. Your sand colored uniforms suck. Your farm system sucks. Trade Peavy and Hernandez to the Yankees so I can root for them.
P.S. Keep in mind that I'm a little hung over and emotionally pummeled by the glaring inconsistency of this team. Just turn it around guys. Okay? Go Padres! (Only 1 exclamation point. That's all I can muster.)
I am not happy with this team. I can't even try to be eloquent about it. This is poo! Poo, I say. I do not like having to hope that my team can hold on to a 1 to 0 lead. Sickening. Fire everybody! This is the filthy, patchwork Dodgers here people. These guys are feasting on the division, and even if we turn it around now, we're going to end up chasing them all freaking year.
This was supposed to be our year. That's what people kept telling me. I'm sure that's what I heard. Almost our whole team returning. The Rockies suck. Arizona probably a year or two away. No Bonds for the Giants. The Dodgers would need time to gel. We were supposed to take a strong early lead in route to being this year's sacrificial lamb from the NL West. Screw these guys. Just like they try to screw themselves into the ground every stinking at bat.
Aren't you supposed to get excited when the heart of the order is up? Yeah, real murderer's row we got going on down there at Petco. Way to pepper the warning track with fly balls, gentlemen. Wait, that isn't even what's happening cause then you'd at least advance the runner.
I swear to God, I am over it. I am going to start rooting for the team with the biggest payroll from now on, because I am sick of the heartbreak. Your ballpark sucks. Your sand colored uniforms suck. Your farm system sucks. Trade Peavy and Hernandez to the Yankees so I can root for them.
P.S. Keep in mind that I'm a little hung over and emotionally pummeled by the glaring inconsistency of this team. Just turn it around guys. Okay? Go Padres! (Only 1 exclamation point. That's all I can muster.)
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Can Two be in a Row?
So San Francisco goes ahead and skates into town and brings us their unsightly foggy, rainy garbage version of weather. Good Lord it really looked like crap out there on Monday night. So of course what do we get? We are treated to a pitchers duel for most of the night. Jake went out strong, started furthering his ”K” collection, while shouting from his dirt soapbox out there in the middle of the pet sponsored park, “I am your Cy Young pitcher”. If not for the performances of the young staff down in Marlinville, Jake might be running away with this thing. Another good night for the kid, 7IP, 6 hits, 1 walk, 1 earned run, 9 K’s. The one run was a mistake to the offspring of a Neikro and was last seen knuckling it’s way into the left field stands. Jake’s running season total:
20.2 IP
16 hits
4 walks
26 strikeouts
.97 WHIP
1.31 ERA
Not too shabby. Let’s hope his arm stays healthy and loose and not sore. We don’t need to see any Dravecky like moments out of this kid.
By the way, Jake is going to make all of $750K this year. Somebody better back up the dump truck full ‘o’ dough, I don’t want this guy making his escape out of here…
Last night saw the resurgence of the bats and the arm of Brian Lawrence. The squad was out in force last night hitting the ball all over the yard. Run production was high, as were the hit totals. Hell, even most of the outs were hit hard. Brian pitched 8 strong, gave up 6 hits and 2 runs both earned. But, I have to rain praise down upon the Lawrence, here he was trudging along generating an ERA that was touching the high points on a 1 to 10 scale and went out last night, ignored all the rumblings and pitched very well. Good pitching is when you let the defense take care of you, he struck out just two, walked none and lowered the ERA from 8.38 to 5.60. Still got some work to do before he gets to where he wants to be I am sure, but another start or two like last night and he is well on his way.
The Bats….
Everyone hit last night. I thinks Giles suffered the only 0’fer of the evening, but every time he was up he was tagging the baseball, it just so happens he was tagging it right to the guys wearing the bad uni’s out there. Loretta was knocking the ball around like Tawny Kitaen’s husband, and so was the newest likeable Padre, Geoff Blum. Ramon continues to beat the ball like a birthday piñata, and really, he has been one of just a couple of guys assaulting the baseball. Fun game to watch last night. Made me reminisce about last year’s team.
Tonight, it’s the Bums again. I do however get to try out my new seats at the Petco for the first time. Gotta go wipe the new off the front row out by third. I think that we can improve on that complete game shutout that Derek Lowe pitched against us this past weekend. We will in fact see…
20.2 IP
16 hits
4 walks
26 strikeouts
.97 WHIP
1.31 ERA
Not too shabby. Let’s hope his arm stays healthy and loose and not sore. We don’t need to see any Dravecky like moments out of this kid.
By the way, Jake is going to make all of $750K this year. Somebody better back up the dump truck full ‘o’ dough, I don’t want this guy making his escape out of here…
Last night saw the resurgence of the bats and the arm of Brian Lawrence. The squad was out in force last night hitting the ball all over the yard. Run production was high, as were the hit totals. Hell, even most of the outs were hit hard. Brian pitched 8 strong, gave up 6 hits and 2 runs both earned. But, I have to rain praise down upon the Lawrence, here he was trudging along generating an ERA that was touching the high points on a 1 to 10 scale and went out last night, ignored all the rumblings and pitched very well. Good pitching is when you let the defense take care of you, he struck out just two, walked none and lowered the ERA from 8.38 to 5.60. Still got some work to do before he gets to where he wants to be I am sure, but another start or two like last night and he is well on his way.
The Bats….
Everyone hit last night. I thinks Giles suffered the only 0’fer of the evening, but every time he was up he was tagging the baseball, it just so happens he was tagging it right to the guys wearing the bad uni’s out there. Loretta was knocking the ball around like Tawny Kitaen’s husband, and so was the newest likeable Padre, Geoff Blum. Ramon continues to beat the ball like a birthday piñata, and really, he has been one of just a couple of guys assaulting the baseball. Fun game to watch last night. Made me reminisce about last year’s team.
Tonight, it’s the Bums again. I do however get to try out my new seats at the Petco for the first time. Gotta go wipe the new off the front row out by third. I think that we can improve on that complete game shutout that Derek Lowe pitched against us this past weekend. We will in fact see…
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Friday's Quick Hits... a day late
Welcome to the first edition of the Friday baseballing Quick Hits... one day late...
-Umm, three hits off of Derek Lowe at Dodger Stadium last night. Awesome. One was by the pitcher. We were in this game all night long. It was much closer than the three hits (did I mention one by the pitcher) would indicate.
-Someday I would like someone to explain to me what sarcasm is.
-Gary Sheffield. Yeah I know. I will be brief. Not guilty. To the fan, marginally guilty. What bothers me is that Sheffield said that the only thing going through his mind was the Artest incident. He didn't react differently because he didn't want to wind up like Artest. Does that mean that if the Artest thing never happened we might have had World War III out in right field at Fenway on Thursday night? It certainly looked to me like Sheffield had his fist balled up ready to throw it around pretty recklessly after he got rid of the ball. Had that happened the Yankees might have had to forfeit the rest of the season due to an influx of players put on the DL for being dead. That's all I am saying.
-The Padres. Oh boy. I am not seeing anything resembling the team that was on the field last year. Our starting pitching has been diminished significantly and the bats are very soft right now. We are not going to be able to compete with the Dodgers if we keep playing like this. I don't want to say we suck, but we are no better than a third place team right now. 85 wins here we come...
More 0f us vs. Eric Neel's bums tonight.
-Umm, three hits off of Derek Lowe at Dodger Stadium last night. Awesome. One was by the pitcher. We were in this game all night long. It was much closer than the three hits (did I mention one by the pitcher) would indicate.
-Someday I would like someone to explain to me what sarcasm is.
-Gary Sheffield. Yeah I know. I will be brief. Not guilty. To the fan, marginally guilty. What bothers me is that Sheffield said that the only thing going through his mind was the Artest incident. He didn't react differently because he didn't want to wind up like Artest. Does that mean that if the Artest thing never happened we might have had World War III out in right field at Fenway on Thursday night? It certainly looked to me like Sheffield had his fist balled up ready to throw it around pretty recklessly after he got rid of the ball. Had that happened the Yankees might have had to forfeit the rest of the season due to an influx of players put on the DL for being dead. That's all I am saying.
-The Padres. Oh boy. I am not seeing anything resembling the team that was on the field last year. Our starting pitching has been diminished significantly and the bats are very soft right now. We are not going to be able to compete with the Dodgers if we keep playing like this. I don't want to say we suck, but we are no better than a third place team right now. 85 wins here we come...
More 0f us vs. Eric Neel's bums tonight.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
You Spin Me Right Round, Baby, Right Round.
I know I'm being a bit of a cynic with a side of broken record here, but it certainly looked like ole Boch decided to give one away yesterday rather than take a shot at glory. Maybe I'm uninformed here, though, so if anyone can tell me why he flip flopped Peavy and Lawrence for yesterday's games I'd appreciate it. Now I know that Wood and Prior are both supposed to be good pitchers, but Prior is supposed to be the new prototype. Wouldn't that mean he's better, when he's on? So why would we put our defending ERA champ up against him, in what would have been his regular spot? I suppose he might have thought that Prior wouldn't be efficient in his first start. I don't know. Anything's possible I suppose. Well, you got one convincing win, followed by a beating, instead of being in both games, and now you're best guy will likely miss the red hot Dodgers. Good call? And for those of you who say I should be happy to take the series, piss off. They swept us at home last year, and I don't think it is too much to ask for some sweet retribution.
Oh, and, way to be clutch in the middle of the line-up again guys. Good teams would have come back against that bullpen late in the second game. Good teams.
Oh, and, way to be clutch in the middle of the line-up again guys. Good teams would have come back against that bullpen late in the second game. Good teams.
Double Dip Roundup...
Double dip at the old gum factory in Chicago yesterday. Game one featured our Cy Young candidate Jake battling against one of Cubbielands fan favorites in Kerry Wood. And yes I conveniently got the match up wrong yesterday. Of course, because of the unusual starting time out there at the field or “ocean according to Kruk”, the game was marginalized to Sportscenter. At which time I expected them to depart from what is the most overblown storyline of 2005, Yanks, Red Sox, but to no avail, that was the lead and I had to sit through basketball highlights as well before getting to the goods of the day.
Highlights of course were Cub biased and showed game 2 before game 1. Which made little to no sense to me but alas I am no program director, so I got to see how magnificent Mark Prior is and how lowly the Padres are and how great Mark Prior is in slow motion with K-Zone and all of that. Okay, he’s good, he pitched well, we lost, move on. Just move on to game one now Sportcenter.
Game One was more of the same. The picture was painted via the “highlights” by how poorly Kerry Wood pitched. Which may in fact be true. What wasn’t shown was how well our Cy candidate pitched. They showed Mr. Wood floundering and getting taken deep. There was no mention of Jake or his line for the day. In fact, at the graphics portion of the highlight, they once again showed Wood’s line. I had to go and search today to see how Jake threw the pill. Message to the people who run the “Mothership” over there:
-There are many more teams than the Yankees and Red Sox out there.
-There are many baseball fans who don’t give a(n) (edit) about either one of them.
-Tell both sides of a game’s story. If a pitcher (Jake) pitches well, and is considered by many a Cy candidate, tell me how he pitched today, especially if he wins, which he did. Morons. Again all together now. Morons.
The only pitch I saw Jake throw was one that was hammered into the gap that Adam Hyzdu body splashed for out in left, got up and doubled off Derek Lee at second. Great play Adam.
Since ESPN doesn’t want to share here is Jake’s line from yesterday:
7.0, 6 hits, 2 runs, 2 earned, 1 walk, 7 K’s.
For anyone keeping track that’s:
13.2 IP, 10 hits, 2 runs, 3 walks, 17 K’s for the season thus far.
His WHIP is less than 1. Pretty darned good Jake. Now go have a talk with Lawrence and get him straightened out. Off day today more later…
Highlights of course were Cub biased and showed game 2 before game 1. Which made little to no sense to me but alas I am no program director, so I got to see how magnificent Mark Prior is and how lowly the Padres are and how great Mark Prior is in slow motion with K-Zone and all of that. Okay, he’s good, he pitched well, we lost, move on. Just move on to game one now Sportcenter.
Game One was more of the same. The picture was painted via the “highlights” by how poorly Kerry Wood pitched. Which may in fact be true. What wasn’t shown was how well our Cy candidate pitched. They showed Mr. Wood floundering and getting taken deep. There was no mention of Jake or his line for the day. In fact, at the graphics portion of the highlight, they once again showed Wood’s line. I had to go and search today to see how Jake threw the pill. Message to the people who run the “Mothership” over there:
-There are many more teams than the Yankees and Red Sox out there.
-There are many baseball fans who don’t give a(n) (edit) about either one of them.
-Tell both sides of a game’s story. If a pitcher (Jake) pitches well, and is considered by many a Cy candidate, tell me how he pitched today, especially if he wins, which he did. Morons. Again all together now. Morons.
The only pitch I saw Jake throw was one that was hammered into the gap that Adam Hyzdu body splashed for out in left, got up and doubled off Derek Lee at second. Great play Adam.
Since ESPN doesn’t want to share here is Jake’s line from yesterday:
7.0, 6 hits, 2 runs, 2 earned, 1 walk, 7 K’s.
For anyone keeping track that’s:
13.2 IP, 10 hits, 2 runs, 3 walks, 17 K’s for the season thus far.
His WHIP is less than 1. Pretty darned good Jake. Now go have a talk with Lawrence and get him straightened out. Off day today more later…
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
The Roundup...
Long weekend turns short as activities including family and weddings take up much of the already at a premium free time. Not too much was missed as the beloved squad managed a meager split with the less than mediocre Pirates. As the bats remain relatively cool, the mental mistakes and failure in the execution of the fundamentals are the talk of the town. I for one would not be me if I didn’t point this out and make it a mountain out of a mole hill, yet I feel the need to cut the guys some slack early on. We are in fact only seven games into what will be the 85 win majestic season of ’05. So listen up fellas, you have exactly about eight more games before this stuff really gets serious. Get out the steel wool and the rust remover and get it together and start playing the baseball we all know you are more than capable of.
Notes from the weekend:
-Apparently my seats at the Petco are very nice and I am looking forward to seeing a game there soon. Next Wednesday in fact.
-Weddings that bump you from your new season seats are okay if in fact they are put together like the one we attended this past Saturday night. It was a blast, the drinks flowed like wine, digital cameras across the land clicked and flashed and were left behind with astounding consistency.
-Taxi Cabs were a premium over this weekend. Long walks were the norm.
-Congrats to the happy couple, having lots more fun than we are down in Mexico. Jealously is bad. But hopefully souvenir t-shirts will soak up some of that pain.
Rained out baseball on Tuesdays suck. Double headers on Wednesdays are pretty cool. Jake v. Prior today and Lawrence v. Wood. Tough day of baseballing ahead of us. More later…
Notes from the weekend:
-Apparently my seats at the Petco are very nice and I am looking forward to seeing a game there soon. Next Wednesday in fact.
-Weddings that bump you from your new season seats are okay if in fact they are put together like the one we attended this past Saturday night. It was a blast, the drinks flowed like wine, digital cameras across the land clicked and flashed and were left behind with astounding consistency.
-Taxi Cabs were a premium over this weekend. Long walks were the norm.
-Congrats to the happy couple, having lots more fun than we are down in Mexico. Jealously is bad. But hopefully souvenir t-shirts will soak up some of that pain.
Rained out baseball on Tuesdays suck. Double headers on Wednesdays are pretty cool. Jake v. Prior today and Lawrence v. Wood. Tough day of baseballing ahead of us. More later…
Friday, April 08, 2005
Looked Like a Baseball Game, Only Longer
So, opening night came and went. Slowly. Very slowly. In fact, as I am a baseball purist, no hitters and shutouts might earn enough credit for wish number three from a hot bikini clad genie. But that game was just dreadful. I longed to turn the channel and find something that would better occupy my time. I searched for a home makeover show in the hopes of finding one that would allow me to watch paint dry on t.v. Alas it was not meant to be. I was stuck. So I watched on, and as I watched I saw some early likes and dislikes for the newborn season.
Starting with the positives:
-Jake Peavy going after everyone. 6+ , ten strikeouts, zero runs. Good Jake.
-Outfielders making very tough plays. Some separating shoulders for the good of the team.
-The New Ball Park. Still so cool.
-The crowd. They were into it. Well, at least for the first two and a half hours.
-The idea of the game. As mentioned, shutouts are usually good. It was entertaining for 6 innings.
-Brian Giles looking the same size as he was in 2004. I was a bit concerned that he might have talked with Canseco once or twice. Nice to be proven wrong.
-Being a first time season ticket holder.
And now the dislikes:
-The New Ball Park. Wait.
-The coaching. Yeah, here we go. I know it’s game three they are rusty too.
-The people blabbing away on their cell phones behind home plate. “Can you believe I’m at a baseball game?” You are in the best seats in the park, watch the damned game. Idiots.
-3 hours 39 minutes of Matt and Mark and Tony trying to make this thing interesting. Do you know who Kevin Maas is? I remember now.
-This whole “X” Nady thing. That might be the worst nickname given to a Padre. Knock that off before it sticks. I won’t be a part of it.
-Having to give away my first season tickets on Saturday for something as trivial as some stupid wedding. Man. I hate that. Stupid weddings, with three open bars until midnight. There had better be a t.v. there.
Man. This new ball park is great. I love it. I love it so. I also hate it. A lot. It’s as if we have learned nothing from last year about the homestead. This is a ridiculously tough place to hit. Colorado showed that you can do just about anything out there and score ten runs. Yeah, well welcome back to reality guys. This place was a graveyard last night, the ball just died all over the park. (Joke about the Pope’s pallbearer’s edited for decency) If we are to improve on that stupendous 42-39 record at home from the rookie campaign, then we are going to have to start hitting, or start playing small ball. We are going to have to win a bunch of extra inning one run games. I am a bit skeptical that we can do that with this staff. Don’t get me wrong, I want to see us make it happen, believe me, but I am being overpaid here to give an opinion of what I think is going to happen. I don’t want to be right. It’s a good thing I usually enjoy those low to no scoring affairs, cause we are going to see a lot of ‘em.
The coaching. There was one good decision and one bad. Pulling Jake in the 6th was the right thing to do. First start, 6+ innings and his control was just starting to slip. Get him out of there, save his arm for the season. Good move. Then it happened. I got all giddy inside about the tenth inning because the torture was on the verge of ending. STILL zero to zero and we manage to pack two bags with nobody out. The current number eight hitter was Sean Burroughs and I saw bunt in the future. Then, out of no where, there was no bunt. No bunt attempt. Not one. Pop fly for out number one. He of the horrible nickname managed to get his stomach ailment in check long enough to get off the pot and go for what I though would be a bunt attempt. Once again, no bunt. No bunting. Hey, pop flies are in season though. The replacement for separated shoulders in center field strikes out, and there goes the inning. I thought to myself Boch really wants us to get our opening day’s worth here. Hey, it’s only the home opener of a four game set with an inferior team that we should beat four times in a row if we are any good. Let’s use every arm in the bullpen the first night. Good idea. Two more innings later, after two more pitchers, and way too many pitches to even keep track of while trying to prop my eyelids open, this thing was finally put to bed with an u-g-l-y sacks full walk for a W. We got the win. But it was about as satisfying as a warm beer on a cold, rainy, beach. Hopefully there will be less ugliness and more runs tonight as we rewind this thing.
Starting with the positives:
-Jake Peavy going after everyone. 6+ , ten strikeouts, zero runs. Good Jake.
-Outfielders making very tough plays. Some separating shoulders for the good of the team.
-The New Ball Park. Still so cool.
-The crowd. They were into it. Well, at least for the first two and a half hours.
-The idea of the game. As mentioned, shutouts are usually good. It was entertaining for 6 innings.
-Brian Giles looking the same size as he was in 2004. I was a bit concerned that he might have talked with Canseco once or twice. Nice to be proven wrong.
-Being a first time season ticket holder.
And now the dislikes:
-The New Ball Park. Wait.
-The coaching. Yeah, here we go. I know it’s game three they are rusty too.
-The people blabbing away on their cell phones behind home plate. “Can you believe I’m at a baseball game?” You are in the best seats in the park, watch the damned game. Idiots.
-3 hours 39 minutes of Matt and Mark and Tony trying to make this thing interesting. Do you know who Kevin Maas is? I remember now.
-This whole “X” Nady thing. That might be the worst nickname given to a Padre. Knock that off before it sticks. I won’t be a part of it.
-Having to give away my first season tickets on Saturday for something as trivial as some stupid wedding. Man. I hate that. Stupid weddings, with three open bars until midnight. There had better be a t.v. there.
Man. This new ball park is great. I love it. I love it so. I also hate it. A lot. It’s as if we have learned nothing from last year about the homestead. This is a ridiculously tough place to hit. Colorado showed that you can do just about anything out there and score ten runs. Yeah, well welcome back to reality guys. This place was a graveyard last night, the ball just died all over the park. (Joke about the Pope’s pallbearer’s edited for decency) If we are to improve on that stupendous 42-39 record at home from the rookie campaign, then we are going to have to start hitting, or start playing small ball. We are going to have to win a bunch of extra inning one run games. I am a bit skeptical that we can do that with this staff. Don’t get me wrong, I want to see us make it happen, believe me, but I am being overpaid here to give an opinion of what I think is going to happen. I don’t want to be right. It’s a good thing I usually enjoy those low to no scoring affairs, cause we are going to see a lot of ‘em.
The coaching. There was one good decision and one bad. Pulling Jake in the 6th was the right thing to do. First start, 6+ innings and his control was just starting to slip. Get him out of there, save his arm for the season. Good move. Then it happened. I got all giddy inside about the tenth inning because the torture was on the verge of ending. STILL zero to zero and we manage to pack two bags with nobody out. The current number eight hitter was Sean Burroughs and I saw bunt in the future. Then, out of no where, there was no bunt. No bunt attempt. Not one. Pop fly for out number one. He of the horrible nickname managed to get his stomach ailment in check long enough to get off the pot and go for what I though would be a bunt attempt. Once again, no bunt. No bunting. Hey, pop flies are in season though. The replacement for separated shoulders in center field strikes out, and there goes the inning. I thought to myself Boch really wants us to get our opening day’s worth here. Hey, it’s only the home opener of a four game set with an inferior team that we should beat four times in a row if we are any good. Let’s use every arm in the bullpen the first night. Good idea. Two more innings later, after two more pitchers, and way too many pitches to even keep track of while trying to prop my eyelids open, this thing was finally put to bed with an u-g-l-y sacks full walk for a W. We got the win. But it was about as satisfying as a warm beer on a cold, rainy, beach. Hopefully there will be less ugliness and more runs tonight as we rewind this thing.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Opening Doh'...
Not like it shouldn’t have been expected but the Pads dropped their first heartbreaker yesterday out in Kobeland. There are many places that you don’t really want your pitchers starting off the season, but Colorado has to be number one on that list. Imitation Ball Park in an imitation city, with imitation air. On top of that the pitchers are still working to get the off season beers and brats off their scales and knock the rust off of their elbows. Great confidence builder starting out there in Kobeland, and it showed. Padres 0-1 with one more in Denver then home, thankfully. Although the bats were impressive there, let’s reserve judgment until, say, halfway through the season. Good. Moving on…
Woody has never really been what they would call dominant in Denver, and almost all pitchers have issues there. And Trevor knows what is normally routine is far from it in the thin air. You may be having a solid spring or a great season, and it only takes one start out in Colorado to unravel the best. Thin air makes a baseball do funny things like fly way too darned far when popped up. You’ve all heard that one I am sure, but it also does things to a pitcher’s breaking ball. Or, well, doesn’t do things to it. Thin air equals less resistance equals less movement on breaking pitches. Just the facts of physics here people, and as how that is the extent of my physics knowledge, enough science, let’s get back to baseball. When your breaking pitches aren’t doing just that, they flatten out and get hammered to all parts of a ball park that are just too big. I have mentioned this before in some forum or another, but the outfield in Kobeland is just too big. Move the fences in and let the outfielders have a chance at playing the jam shots and bloops that fall in because of the enormity of the field. Home runs are home runs there for the most part; the majority of the scoring comes from single after single after single that just can't be defended because the outfielders don’t have rockets up their asses.
This leads me to my next meaningless point. How many times have you had a discussion with people you hardly know over a couple of cold beers about the greatest feats in baseball (or insert sporting event here)? Barry’s 73 home runs, prior to that was McGuire’s 70 and Sammy’s concoction of cork and steroids, I mean 66. All those things are great. Cy Young’s 512 wins, Nolan’s no hitters and strikeouts, Pete’s 4200+ Hall of Fame Less hits. You know the best of the best. But the one true feat that may also never be touched or improved upon, steroids or not, is one that happened on a rainy night in Colorado. The night that Hideo Nomo pitched a no hitter there. And it is by far, one of the greatest accomplishments that has ever taken place on a baseball diamond. Even better than that night last October that Major League Baseball let the Farrely brothers shoot the end of their movie about the Red Sox and allowing them to be celebrating on the field with the Red Soxes. Oh, that Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore just bleed Red Sox Nation don’t they? I am just sweating in my chair as we speak with anticipation of that film…
More Kobeland on Wednesday. Adam needs a nickname is on the hill…
Woody has never really been what they would call dominant in Denver, and almost all pitchers have issues there. And Trevor knows what is normally routine is far from it in the thin air. You may be having a solid spring or a great season, and it only takes one start out in Colorado to unravel the best. Thin air makes a baseball do funny things like fly way too darned far when popped up. You’ve all heard that one I am sure, but it also does things to a pitcher’s breaking ball. Or, well, doesn’t do things to it. Thin air equals less resistance equals less movement on breaking pitches. Just the facts of physics here people, and as how that is the extent of my physics knowledge, enough science, let’s get back to baseball. When your breaking pitches aren’t doing just that, they flatten out and get hammered to all parts of a ball park that are just too big. I have mentioned this before in some forum or another, but the outfield in Kobeland is just too big. Move the fences in and let the outfielders have a chance at playing the jam shots and bloops that fall in because of the enormity of the field. Home runs are home runs there for the most part; the majority of the scoring comes from single after single after single that just can't be defended because the outfielders don’t have rockets up their asses.
This leads me to my next meaningless point. How many times have you had a discussion with people you hardly know over a couple of cold beers about the greatest feats in baseball (or insert sporting event here)? Barry’s 73 home runs, prior to that was McGuire’s 70 and Sammy’s concoction of cork and steroids, I mean 66. All those things are great. Cy Young’s 512 wins, Nolan’s no hitters and strikeouts, Pete’s 4200+ Hall of Fame Less hits. You know the best of the best. But the one true feat that may also never be touched or improved upon, steroids or not, is one that happened on a rainy night in Colorado. The night that Hideo Nomo pitched a no hitter there. And it is by far, one of the greatest accomplishments that has ever taken place on a baseball diamond. Even better than that night last October that Major League Baseball let the Farrely brothers shoot the end of their movie about the Red Sox and allowing them to be celebrating on the field with the Red Soxes. Oh, that Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore just bleed Red Sox Nation don’t they? I am just sweating in my chair as we speak with anticipation of that film…
More Kobeland on Wednesday. Adam needs a nickname is on the hill…
Friday, April 01, 2005
April Brings May...
Obviously sometimes it takes a little pressure to bring out the best in someone. Yesterday, in a 4-1 loss to the Mariners, Darrel May went six strong, giving up five hits and striking out five Seattlers, and facing, get this, just three batters over the minimum. Either the pitchy coach had a little talk with Darrell about job security and paychecks, or he has started to feel like it’s time to be a professional baseball player and pitch like one. Nice work Mr. May.
As for the rest of the squad, no one did diddly pooh, as most of the first teamers were on the plane home. Not too many regulars were there, and the couple that were didn’t do much. Ahhh pre-season baseball…
It’s funny lately in our division. All of the rumblings of the prognosticators are in agreement on one thing:
A) Our division is terrible. Terrible in that really terrible kind of way.
2) The entire thing is up for grabs, no one can really make a positive evaluation of how this thing is going to play out in ’05.
Yeah, I know that’s two things, get over it. Point is, the top three, which I believe to be San Francisco, US, and the Dodger Bums, are the contenders right now. In my opinion, correct or incorrect as it may be, that will be the finishing order at the end of the season. It will be close. Very close. Who really knows if Arizona will show up or not? And at this point, who really cares?
Happy Weekending to one and all.
As for the rest of the squad, no one did diddly pooh, as most of the first teamers were on the plane home. Not too many regulars were there, and the couple that were didn’t do much. Ahhh pre-season baseball…
It’s funny lately in our division. All of the rumblings of the prognosticators are in agreement on one thing:
A) Our division is terrible. Terrible in that really terrible kind of way.
2) The entire thing is up for grabs, no one can really make a positive evaluation of how this thing is going to play out in ’05.
Yeah, I know that’s two things, get over it. Point is, the top three, which I believe to be San Francisco, US, and the Dodger Bums, are the contenders right now. In my opinion, correct or incorrect as it may be, that will be the finishing order at the end of the season. It will be close. Very close. Who really knows if Arizona will show up or not? And at this point, who really cares?
Happy Weekending to one and all.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Oh God, Why Me?
My neck is really going to be sore at the end of today what with all the shaking of my head I am doing over here. It seems that my cohort here has temporarily lost his mind, or is suffering the after effects of what I would suspect was a happy hour gone terribly awry. I am going to have laryngitis by the end of the day from cursing you under my breath. This is one of those days where the best thing to do is totally ignore the Colossus and hope he goes away quietly unnoticed. On to the highlights of the day…
I decided that a pizza run was in order today so I ventured down to the best spot in the town. The same spot where I had the distinct pleasure of meeting the crazy preggo chicks last footballing season. Anyway, I arrived at the promised land and had the distinct opportunity to be in line with the super most awesomest guy I have ever seen. Mr. Star Wars as he shall now be known to the rest of the world, well his hat said something along those lines. Complete with light saber holster that attached at the belt and tied to his leg. Complete with the dark side t-shirt to the upcoming disappointment that will be released this May. Complete with Star Wars patches ironed on to the sides of not one but both of his Saucony’s. Complete with cut outs of the dark lord sith scotch taped to the toes of the same Sauc’s. Yeah. The laughter was only broken long enough to mutter something along the lines of, “Hey, Obi Wan could kick your ass.” Or something like that, I was just way too flustered to actually break the guy’s nads better than that. Pretty cool to see a guy in his late 40’s who just can’t let go though…
When I was able to get it back together and heading back to finish the afternoon, I had the pleasure of running into our very own Bolt, Adrian Dingle. Out practicing to improve our squad. Thanks Adrian, go kill somebody next season and bring home the trophy would ya?
Some More Observations:
-At 40+ it’s time to give up the Star Wars Dream
-Football Players are huge
-Fantasy Sports are dumb
-Your fantasy team sucks.
-Your fantasy team sucks.
-Your fantasy team sucks.
-You are an idiot.
Repeat chorus.
I decided that a pizza run was in order today so I ventured down to the best spot in the town. The same spot where I had the distinct pleasure of meeting the crazy preggo chicks last footballing season. Anyway, I arrived at the promised land and had the distinct opportunity to be in line with the super most awesomest guy I have ever seen. Mr. Star Wars as he shall now be known to the rest of the world, well his hat said something along those lines. Complete with light saber holster that attached at the belt and tied to his leg. Complete with the dark side t-shirt to the upcoming disappointment that will be released this May. Complete with Star Wars patches ironed on to the sides of not one but both of his Saucony’s. Complete with cut outs of the dark lord sith scotch taped to the toes of the same Sauc’s. Yeah. The laughter was only broken long enough to mutter something along the lines of, “Hey, Obi Wan could kick your ass.” Or something like that, I was just way too flustered to actually break the guy’s nads better than that. Pretty cool to see a guy in his late 40’s who just can’t let go though…
When I was able to get it back together and heading back to finish the afternoon, I had the pleasure of running into our very own Bolt, Adrian Dingle. Out practicing to improve our squad. Thanks Adrian, go kill somebody next season and bring home the trophy would ya?
Some More Observations:
-At 40+ it’s time to give up the Star Wars Dream
-Football Players are huge
-Fantasy Sports are dumb
-Your fantasy team sucks.
-Your fantasy team sucks.
-Your fantasy team sucks.
-You are an idiot.
Repeat chorus.
Who's The Best Hurler Going?
It's going to be my coconspirator after this post.
Ahh, baseball is almost hear. I can already taste the hot dogs and cold beer at Petco Park. The sun shining down on the ballpark, the crack of the bat. It all seems so real already as I sit here listening to Hall of Fame broadcaster Jerry Coleman and beach bum Tim Flannery call one of the last games of the Cactus league. Man I can't wait for my team to take the field. I'm excited about this group. Strong pitching and some powerful bats. I think this team has a shot at the whole thing. That's right, my fantasy team is tight, yo!
Of course I jest. My fantasy team isn't bad, but it is certainly a reflection of the fact that I didn't bother to show up for the fantasy draft and didn't even rank my picks. Sure I got some solid performers in guys like Roger Clemens, Carlos Zambrano and Alfonso Soriano. And there are some that I figure to have big years after being a bit of a disappointment last year, like Derek Jeter. I expect Richie Sexson to come back as hot as he went out at the beginning of last year. All in all, a pretty sweet group. I think I can turn them into winners.
And I'll tell you what else I think. I think I was wrong about Barry Bonds. I know for a fact now that he won't be back this year. Because I got him. That's right, my autodraft wasted a pick on old melon head. Somebody legalize steroids, quick. Oh sweet irony what a douche you are!
I've managed to avoid the temptation to pick up Ryan Klesko off the waiver wire. Some of you may wonder why, seeing as I bet on him to have a rather productive year. It's because, in the world of sports, I a "cooler."
If I were to draft Klesko, it would doom him to a career low in all major batting categories. 9 home runs? Yeah right, that would become a sisyphean task. Bam! Sisyphean! In your face vocabulary! Didn't think I had it in me, did you?! Sorry, tangent.
Anyway, in case you're curious, and because I intend to really piss off my pen pal with occasional updates, meet my fantasy team, Max Colossus Extreme.
C - J. Estrada (I think the J is for Jorge, maybe Johnny)
1B - Aubrey Huff
2B - Alfonso Soriano (Probably Autodraft 2005's first pick. Would have been mine too. Way to go Autodraft!)
SS - Derek Jeter
3B - Juan Uribe (Whatever. My only 3B is a bit of a worry. Monster season please)
OF - Miguel Cabrera
OF - Johnny Damon (On the same team as Derek Jeter? Fantasy teams will lead to world peace, I say)
OF - Shawn Green
OF - Milton Bradley (Milton Bradley? Come on! I'm noticing a bit of a power vaccum in my outfield)
Utility - Richie Sexson (Seriously, he was leading the league in homers last year)
SP - Roger Clemens
SP - Carlos Zambrano
SP - Roy Halladay
SP - Chris Carpenter (Hmm. Two career seasons in a row, maybe? Or something from John Carpenter?)
SP - Odalis Perez (Another freaking Dodger?)
SP - Livan Hernandez (Go Nationals! Irony again?)
RP - Francisco Rodriguez (Not sold on him)
RP - S. Takatsu (I remember picking this guy up last year. Not so great. My Relief pitching sucks!)
Bench Guys:
Barry Bonds (My favorite player and the best to ever play the game. I've always felt this way about him)
Jeff Kendall ( He sprays it around)
Jeff Bagwell
J. Westbrook (No idea)
Ted Lilly (What? Canada still has a baseball team? Let's move these guys to Puerto Rico already)
So, them's the boys. Go me!!!
Ahh, baseball is almost hear. I can already taste the hot dogs and cold beer at Petco Park. The sun shining down on the ballpark, the crack of the bat. It all seems so real already as I sit here listening to Hall of Fame broadcaster Jerry Coleman and beach bum Tim Flannery call one of the last games of the Cactus league. Man I can't wait for my team to take the field. I'm excited about this group. Strong pitching and some powerful bats. I think this team has a shot at the whole thing. That's right, my fantasy team is tight, yo!
Of course I jest. My fantasy team isn't bad, but it is certainly a reflection of the fact that I didn't bother to show up for the fantasy draft and didn't even rank my picks. Sure I got some solid performers in guys like Roger Clemens, Carlos Zambrano and Alfonso Soriano. And there are some that I figure to have big years after being a bit of a disappointment last year, like Derek Jeter. I expect Richie Sexson to come back as hot as he went out at the beginning of last year. All in all, a pretty sweet group. I think I can turn them into winners.
And I'll tell you what else I think. I think I was wrong about Barry Bonds. I know for a fact now that he won't be back this year. Because I got him. That's right, my autodraft wasted a pick on old melon head. Somebody legalize steroids, quick. Oh sweet irony what a douche you are!
I've managed to avoid the temptation to pick up Ryan Klesko off the waiver wire. Some of you may wonder why, seeing as I bet on him to have a rather productive year. It's because, in the world of sports, I a "cooler."
If I were to draft Klesko, it would doom him to a career low in all major batting categories. 9 home runs? Yeah right, that would become a sisyphean task. Bam! Sisyphean! In your face vocabulary! Didn't think I had it in me, did you?! Sorry, tangent.
Anyway, in case you're curious, and because I intend to really piss off my pen pal with occasional updates, meet my fantasy team, Max Colossus Extreme.
C - J. Estrada (I think the J is for Jorge, maybe Johnny)
1B - Aubrey Huff
2B - Alfonso Soriano (Probably Autodraft 2005's first pick. Would have been mine too. Way to go Autodraft!)
SS - Derek Jeter
3B - Juan Uribe (Whatever. My only 3B is a bit of a worry. Monster season please)
OF - Miguel Cabrera
OF - Johnny Damon (On the same team as Derek Jeter? Fantasy teams will lead to world peace, I say)
OF - Shawn Green
OF - Milton Bradley (Milton Bradley? Come on! I'm noticing a bit of a power vaccum in my outfield)
Utility - Richie Sexson (Seriously, he was leading the league in homers last year)
SP - Roger Clemens
SP - Carlos Zambrano
SP - Roy Halladay
SP - Chris Carpenter (Hmm. Two career seasons in a row, maybe? Or something from John Carpenter?)
SP - Odalis Perez (Another freaking Dodger?)
SP - Livan Hernandez (Go Nationals! Irony again?)
RP - Francisco Rodriguez (Not sold on him)
RP - S. Takatsu (I remember picking this guy up last year. Not so great. My Relief pitching sucks!)
Bench Guys:
Barry Bonds (My favorite player and the best to ever play the game. I've always felt this way about him)
Jeff Kendall ( He sprays it around)
Jeff Bagwell
J. Westbrook (No idea)
Ted Lilly (What? Canada still has a baseball team? Let's move these guys to Puerto Rico already)
So, them's the boys. Go me!!!
There Is A Flag On The Play...
Okay, thanks for violating the football blackout program. All for that up to the minute, sure to be headline making and breaking signing of the second best running back on the team to a lucrative, long term deal. It’s still two weather seasons away, stop thinking and talking about it before you go mad from odd shaped ball sport withdrawal. On to the topics at hand…
It seems as if maybe the change in surroundings has done on Mr. Tim Redding a bit of good. His outing against Texas on Wednesday showed his prowess, allowing two runs on six hits. Nice work Mr. Redding, you have accomplished in one day what Darrell May hasn’t been able to figure out during the duration of camp. That is, there is a lot less pressure to perform when you know you have a job locked up. Now go coach Mr. May on the ways of the relaxed starting pitcher.
Moving on to other more important stuff. Like Woody Williams. Last night against our beloved Aztecs and former God like hitting clinic producer Mr. Gwynn, Woody shut down the young amateur squad for five innings giving up just two hits during his time on the pile. If we could only play college teams all the season long, we might have a shot at this thing…
It seems as if there are a lot of folks in the know out there that are actually putting their money, or at least their most valuable opinion on our Pads to win the Western Division flag this 2005 season. Let it be known that I was shocked at this revelation. I, myself have not thought that way once recently. In fact, my guarded optimism (yes, that’s what I am calling it) is telling me that this team is exactly the same as last year’s team. Identical. In order for us to win the division a couple of teams, L.A. and San Fransisco, needed to get worse. I think that one of them has, while the other has not. You can decide which is which. Arizona on the other hand is a much improved club this off season. They may struggle a bit on the mound, but they are young with arms, and they have strength at the plate. I think that they will surprise some folks out in baseballing land. Colorado is in trouble. Period. You want predictions? I'm your Huckleberry. I will be happy to oblige all of you out there. My pick is as follows:
-It is very conceivable that San Francisco wins the division this year.
-It is my contention that the Pads finish here in second, with an 85 win season. The Dodgers should challenge us for this spot.
-Arizona fits here. I think. They are the most wild-card of the bunch. I think this is a good spot for them but it wouldn’t surprise me at all to see them challenge for the division lead, or, the basement. Really going to be interesting to watch these guys in ’05. Or not…
-The air sure is thin down here at the bottom, and in Colorado.
That’s my stance I will stand by, here, standing. Monday marks the opener, in Kobeland. Way to get the pitchers some confidence right at the beginning of the new season, start them off in the launching pad. Then back for the Home Opener on Thursday against the ex-padres, the Steelers… Pirates, excuse me. This is shaping up to be a strong start to the ’05 campaign.
It seems as if maybe the change in surroundings has done on Mr. Tim Redding a bit of good. His outing against Texas on Wednesday showed his prowess, allowing two runs on six hits. Nice work Mr. Redding, you have accomplished in one day what Darrell May hasn’t been able to figure out during the duration of camp. That is, there is a lot less pressure to perform when you know you have a job locked up. Now go coach Mr. May on the ways of the relaxed starting pitcher.
Moving on to other more important stuff. Like Woody Williams. Last night against our beloved Aztecs and former God like hitting clinic producer Mr. Gwynn, Woody shut down the young amateur squad for five innings giving up just two hits during his time on the pile. If we could only play college teams all the season long, we might have a shot at this thing…
It seems as if there are a lot of folks in the know out there that are actually putting their money, or at least their most valuable opinion on our Pads to win the Western Division flag this 2005 season. Let it be known that I was shocked at this revelation. I, myself have not thought that way once recently. In fact, my guarded optimism (yes, that’s what I am calling it) is telling me that this team is exactly the same as last year’s team. Identical. In order for us to win the division a couple of teams, L.A. and San Fransisco, needed to get worse. I think that one of them has, while the other has not. You can decide which is which. Arizona on the other hand is a much improved club this off season. They may struggle a bit on the mound, but they are young with arms, and they have strength at the plate. I think that they will surprise some folks out in baseballing land. Colorado is in trouble. Period. You want predictions? I'm your Huckleberry. I will be happy to oblige all of you out there. My pick is as follows:
-It is very conceivable that San Francisco wins the division this year.
-It is my contention that the Pads finish here in second, with an 85 win season. The Dodgers should challenge us for this spot.
-Arizona fits here. I think. They are the most wild-card of the bunch. I think this is a good spot for them but it wouldn’t surprise me at all to see them challenge for the division lead, or, the basement. Really going to be interesting to watch these guys in ’05. Or not…
-The air sure is thin down here at the bottom, and in Colorado.
That’s my stance I will stand by, here, standing. Monday marks the opener, in Kobeland. Way to get the pitchers some confidence right at the beginning of the new season, start them off in the launching pad. Then back for the Home Opener on Thursday against the ex-padres, the Steelers… Pirates, excuse me. This is shaping up to be a strong start to the ’05 campaign.
I Have To Apologize.
So, I know that this is not supposed to be about football until September, because everybody gets depressed just thinking about it, but I just can't help myself. Big news is big news and it needs to be addressed. After weeks of free agency producing nothing more for our Chargers than some backup safety from a team with a more than questionable secondary, we have finally made a move of note. Now, whether you see this move as a major upgrade or a foolish lack of long term vision is up to you. Personally, I feel that this move shows that our front office has been doing a lot more behind the scenes strategic planning than I have given them credit for. To lay low and then, out of the blue, pounce on an opportunity like this shows a shrewd sense of football business. Cunning? Indeed. I will no longer question the teams movements, as their plan for the future becomes magnificently apparent! The Chargers resigned Jesse Chatman to a one-year deal. Go Bolts!!!
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Ouch. Easy, Easy.
I don't see the need to start beatin' on Adam Eaton. Yeah, he probably would have broken out by now, if he was going to break out, but he's doing fine for a number 4 guy. Not great. Fine. I'm far more worried about Lawrence and whoever ends up getting the most starts at the 5 spot. Could be you. Could be me. I mean, Hitchcock only got us 9 wins at the 4th spot in 98'. Granted his losses and ERA were a little lower, but I do not recall him having gone through any major reconstructive surgery in his career. I could be wrong about that, however. I'm not trying to be an Adam Eaton apologist here (though I have been called one in the past), but let's try and keep our criticism focused on people I'm disappointed with. Okay?
Not A Liar Per Se...
Couldn’t have said it better my friend. Same old story, different season. All our guys have so much potential it’s just sickening to hear anymore. As the Colossus stated, B. Law got shelled against Texas for eight runs, seven earned in six. I swear to the good heaven monitor that resides above, our guys have the stuff that makes for good pitchers, they really just have no idea how to pitch. Really, think about it, it’s true. We have and have always had guys that can throw the ball, at least in the last decade or so, they just have no idea where the ball is going and why it goes where it ends up. Look at Matt Clement. Always threw the ball hard, and with movement. Two things that every pitcher would make a run for the crossroads to get. What do those things get you if you don’t know how to pitch? They get you a guy who chews up innings, wins some games, loses some games and generally hangs out in the .500 club. Sound like anyone you know? He will have some spectacular, memorable starts, and then get shelled the next time out. That kind of pitcher doesn’t breed championships. That kind of pitcher, quite frankly, annoys the hell out of me, more than listening to Macaulay Culkin tell Johnny Cochran that Michael Jackson played Mr. Rub Rub with him while he was trying to have a cross removed that was pinching his feeding tube. And it has for a while now…
We all know that Lawrence and Eaton have good stuff. How many more years are we going to have to hear about it before they finally have their “breakout” year. This will be, what?, attempt number five for Eaton at his “breakout” year. So far, Eaton has had a mediocre spring. Respectable E.R.A, in 12 innings pitched, giving up 17 hits and 4 walks, 21 base-runners in 12 innings. Not really lighting it up against the spring competition is he? What is going on? When will they get it? Will they get it at all? Will we ever get to see the “potential” that everyone keeps telling us about? Why do I keep asking stupid questions?...
Nady did have a big day yesterday, 3-6 with a 3 run jack and 5 RBI. Not too shabby kid. Got Bochy to finally commit to naming you the opening day starter out in center cause of Dave Roberts ruined groin. Not to say that he didn’t earn it by batting .357 with 5 home runs this spring. Thanks for coming up again kid, don’t start slumping ‘cause there isn’t any full time position for you to play yet up here. Unless you can pitch…
We all know that Lawrence and Eaton have good stuff. How many more years are we going to have to hear about it before they finally have their “breakout” year. This will be, what?, attempt number five for Eaton at his “breakout” year. So far, Eaton has had a mediocre spring. Respectable E.R.A, in 12 innings pitched, giving up 17 hits and 4 walks, 21 base-runners in 12 innings. Not really lighting it up against the spring competition is he? What is going on? When will they get it? Will they get it at all? Will we ever get to see the “potential” that everyone keeps telling us about? Why do I keep asking stupid questions?...
Nady did have a big day yesterday, 3-6 with a 3 run jack and 5 RBI. Not too shabby kid. Got Bochy to finally commit to naming you the opening day starter out in center cause of Dave Roberts ruined groin. Not to say that he didn’t earn it by batting .357 with 5 home runs this spring. Thanks for coming up again kid, don’t start slumping ‘cause there isn’t any full time position for you to play yet up here. Unless you can pitch…
Bruce Bochy Is A Liar.
Okay, that may be a little harsh, but am I supposed to believe that Xavier Nady was going to get the start in CF even if Roberts was 100% ready to go? Uh huh, sure. The only acquisition we made in the entire offseason , that can honestly be said to improve an area of need (I'm speaking of leadoff here, as I don't see Roberts being a huge defensive upgrade over Jay Payton), was going to start on the bench? Come on, Boch. The way Nady has played in the spring, I could see him possibly getting the nod over Burroughs at 3rd, but there is no way you're letting Burroughs start the season leading off on purpose. This Dave Roberts groin thing is really starting to scare me. Did that sound weird?
In other Padres news, Brian Lawrence gave up 7 EARNED runs in 6 innings yesterday. Come on, buddy, we played this game last year. It wasn't funny then, and now that several other guys are pulling the same stunt, it isn't funny now.
In other Padres news, Brian Lawrence gave up 7 EARNED runs in 6 innings yesterday. Come on, buddy, we played this game last year. It wasn't funny then, and now that several other guys are pulling the same stunt, it isn't funny now.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Not Quite Yet Kimo Sabe...
Well, today marks the day that the Pads make a move to improve the pitchy staff. Perhaps they have the benefit of hindsight early to know that the current rotation is significantly weaker than last year's. Or maybe they have a feeling about this guy. Or maybe they flipped a coin. Or maybe they just made a move to make it look like they were making a move. Either way, Tim Redding has been exchanged for Humberto Quintero, one of the more fun names to pronounce in recent Pads history. Right up there with Sixto Lezcano, and Archi Cianfrocco. Oh, and Carmelo Martinez... awesome.
So what does Mr. Redding add to the current staff? I have no idea. Zero idea. Does he make us better? Perhaps. Does he make us a contender? Umm... I will reserve judgment on this one for now, I definitely have an opinion on this but I suppose I should keep it to myself until Mr. Redding throws a pitch in Padre colors. I am still confused as to how the team got better in the off-season. It seems that we will be sending the same squad out there to battle for the west one more time. It's time to start making predictions for 2005...
So what does Mr. Redding add to the current staff? I have no idea. Zero idea. Does he make us better? Perhaps. Does he make us a contender? Umm... I will reserve judgment on this one for now, I definitely have an opinion on this but I suppose I should keep it to myself until Mr. Redding throws a pitch in Padre colors. I am still confused as to how the team got better in the off-season. It seems that we will be sending the same squad out there to battle for the west one more time. It's time to start making predictions for 2005...
Here's Some Fun Stuff
On Saturday, the Padres new 5 spot, once again strutted his stuff on the mound. This time May gave up 8 EARNED runs in 2/3 of an inning to the Arizona Diamondbacks. He did only give up one walk, though.
On the flip side, Woody Williams pitched Friday and gave up only 1 run in 7 innings, to the Athletics. That was Woody's second win this spring, so at least that seems to bode well for the Friars.
That 5 spot scares me quite a bit. I try not to put too much weight on Spring performances, especially in pitchers, but if May opens the season with a couple of games like he's been serving in the Cactus League, KT is going to have to do some serious scrambling or this season could get away from our boys right quick.
On the flip side, Woody Williams pitched Friday and gave up only 1 run in 7 innings, to the Athletics. That was Woody's second win this spring, so at least that seems to bode well for the Friars.
That 5 spot scares me quite a bit. I try not to put too much weight on Spring performances, especially in pitchers, but if May opens the season with a couple of games like he's been serving in the Cactus League, KT is going to have to do some serious scrambling or this season could get away from our boys right quick.
Friday, March 25, 2005
But His Head Is Enormous!
There you go bringing the Chinese Diving Team into it. Can't we give them a moments peace? They're not even mean to reporters. Well, if they are, no one can understand what the hell they're saying. I can't stress this enough, speak English people! I come to your country to be an obnoxious American and a large protion of that is wasted if you can't understand the things I am yelling at you.
Now, I am not a sports journalist sympathizer or anything, and I can agree that Skip Bayless is a self-righteous douche bag for comparing himself to Barry Bonds, but enough of this trying to make Bonds the Julius Caesar of this era. I think the four guys who read this blog know how we both feel about this issue, and if they don't we'll explain it to them tonight at the bar.
Now, I am not a sports journalist sympathizer or anything, and I can agree that Skip Bayless is a self-righteous douche bag for comparing himself to Barry Bonds, but enough of this trying to make Bonds the Julius Caesar of this era. I think the four guys who read this blog know how we both feel about this issue, and if they don't we'll explain it to them tonight at the bar.
They Actually Pay People For This?
So having just read Skip Bayless’ “Mea Culpa” column over at ESPN’s page 2, I am flabbergasted as to how everyone is deflecting the Barry Bonds situation onto Barry. Skip, in far too many words for an column which is nothing more than another personal attack in a far too long string of personal attacks, compares himself to Bonds. After all, Skip had his knee scoped and was running in 3 weeks after his 40th birthday. Not playing or being subjected to the rigors of a professional sport, just jogging. Well, if you can do it Skip…
All in the name of a story are these guys chastising Bonds. Ratings. Columns. Period. Yeah, Barry may not be the most upstanding citizen around. There are issues with him professionally and personally. He is no saint, nor do I believe that he ever claimed to be one of Heaven’s representatives. But, there’s Skip, at the front of the line, trying to spin the story. It is Barry in fact who is trying to vilify the media. Well, what would seem like a more likely scenario, Bonds attempting to defend himself from what could conservatively be called a hostile media stance against him? Or that he is chastising a group of reporters for their unwavering praise of his professional and personal life over the last decade. I would suggest to Skip that maybe if people like you weren’t insulting the size of his head, constantly declaring publicly that you know based on hearsay and circumstantial evidence that he took more steroids than the Chinese Olympic Diving Team and that he has destroyed his family with his abhorrent adulterous ways, maybe Barry wouldn’t be so defensive. It’s not like you guys are out there doing puff pieces on the guy. What will be your recourse if it turns out that you were wrong? Will there be a mass public apology and a retraction? I would most seriously doubt that. Were I Barry, and thankfully I am not, I would not be giving in and threatening retirement, but perhaps something more physical would be in order. Ruin my life you will, I might take a chunk out of you. Thank goodness I am not Barry and he can control his temper or it could get really ugly…
On a side note, I just had this exchange with my cohort in crime here that may be of interest to some of the local folk:
MC: I'm curious as to your opinion on the whole Mt. Soledad cross thing. I know you're not a big religion guy so I'm interested in what you think. These people who lobbied to have it removed are now trying to have all crosses removed from all federal property. If I'm not mistaken, all those veteran's graves from past wars are marked with crosses and star of Davids and those military cemeteries are on federal property
CJ:You wanna know? I think this is just another example of the selfishness of our whiny, crybaby, my way society. Another example of he who cries the loudest wins. I think that it is abominable that someone would want to remove a symbol that is honoring people who have fought and died for the rights that allow said moron to be upset and take action against a static symbol. I think that these fanatics have nothing better to do with their lives and they find joy in making dramatic and chaotic situations out of their lives for some sense of meaning or accomplishment. There are a lot of people like this in the world and I think they are poisonous. They are not comfortable unless they are surrounded by conflict, drama, and or some level of discomfort. It is a me first, pay attention to me at all costs mentality. I think it’s a sickness. And I think that it is way too prevalent in our society today. I think it is fueled by television, a lack of education, and parents who never slapped their kids and said no dinner tonight jackass. I think it is also mainly driven by folks who have no sense of who they are and were probably outcasts as children. This is their way of revenge. Spiteful pricks.
I hope they get gonorrhea.
Your thoughts?
MC: I couldn't have said it better myself. It makes me sick. If I thought for a moment that the cross had any bearing on their existence at all, I might feel differently, but instead I also believe these people get a perverted joy out of causing grief and strife. Unbelievable that something like this could ever happen. What will be our societies Stonehenge? Golden Arches?
CJ: That’s what I was thinking. The golden arches. But then I thought, well, the arches are gold. And, they kind of resemble ugly breasts. With gold being a symbol of heaven, which offends me, as do ugly breasts, I am going to sue McD’s for being insensitive to breasts and those of us who are offended by the very idea of heaven. I will take down the heavenly kingdom of ugly breasts that McD’s promotes and conveys and force feeds us and our children.
But I might settle for an order of fries.
MC: Now there's movement I can get behind.
All in the name of a story are these guys chastising Bonds. Ratings. Columns. Period. Yeah, Barry may not be the most upstanding citizen around. There are issues with him professionally and personally. He is no saint, nor do I believe that he ever claimed to be one of Heaven’s representatives. But, there’s Skip, at the front of the line, trying to spin the story. It is Barry in fact who is trying to vilify the media. Well, what would seem like a more likely scenario, Bonds attempting to defend himself from what could conservatively be called a hostile media stance against him? Or that he is chastising a group of reporters for their unwavering praise of his professional and personal life over the last decade. I would suggest to Skip that maybe if people like you weren’t insulting the size of his head, constantly declaring publicly that you know based on hearsay and circumstantial evidence that he took more steroids than the Chinese Olympic Diving Team and that he has destroyed his family with his abhorrent adulterous ways, maybe Barry wouldn’t be so defensive. It’s not like you guys are out there doing puff pieces on the guy. What will be your recourse if it turns out that you were wrong? Will there be a mass public apology and a retraction? I would most seriously doubt that. Were I Barry, and thankfully I am not, I would not be giving in and threatening retirement, but perhaps something more physical would be in order. Ruin my life you will, I might take a chunk out of you. Thank goodness I am not Barry and he can control his temper or it could get really ugly…
On a side note, I just had this exchange with my cohort in crime here that may be of interest to some of the local folk:
MC: I'm curious as to your opinion on the whole Mt. Soledad cross thing. I know you're not a big religion guy so I'm interested in what you think. These people who lobbied to have it removed are now trying to have all crosses removed from all federal property. If I'm not mistaken, all those veteran's graves from past wars are marked with crosses and star of Davids and those military cemeteries are on federal property
CJ:You wanna know? I think this is just another example of the selfishness of our whiny, crybaby, my way society. Another example of he who cries the loudest wins. I think that it is abominable that someone would want to remove a symbol that is honoring people who have fought and died for the rights that allow said moron to be upset and take action against a static symbol. I think that these fanatics have nothing better to do with their lives and they find joy in making dramatic and chaotic situations out of their lives for some sense of meaning or accomplishment. There are a lot of people like this in the world and I think they are poisonous. They are not comfortable unless they are surrounded by conflict, drama, and or some level of discomfort. It is a me first, pay attention to me at all costs mentality. I think it’s a sickness. And I think that it is way too prevalent in our society today. I think it is fueled by television, a lack of education, and parents who never slapped their kids and said no dinner tonight jackass. I think it is also mainly driven by folks who have no sense of who they are and were probably outcasts as children. This is their way of revenge. Spiteful pricks.
I hope they get gonorrhea.
Your thoughts?
MC: I couldn't have said it better myself. It makes me sick. If I thought for a moment that the cross had any bearing on their existence at all, I might feel differently, but instead I also believe these people get a perverted joy out of causing grief and strife. Unbelievable that something like this could ever happen. What will be our societies Stonehenge? Golden Arches?
CJ: That’s what I was thinking. The golden arches. But then I thought, well, the arches are gold. And, they kind of resemble ugly breasts. With gold being a symbol of heaven, which offends me, as do ugly breasts, I am going to sue McD’s for being insensitive to breasts and those of us who are offended by the very idea of heaven. I will take down the heavenly kingdom of ugly breasts that McD’s promotes and conveys and force feeds us and our children.
But I might settle for an order of fries.
MC: Now there's movement I can get behind.
Friday Content Rocks!
Brian Lawrence gave up 6 runs in 5 innings yesterday versus the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles, or whatever they're called. The good news is...No walks! Hurray! Take that Darrell May!
The Angels started a pitcher yesterday that had earlier told the Padres that he wanted to play for them so much that he was willing to be flexible in contract negotiations. We all know how that turns out. Never tell the Padres you'd be willing to take less than market value to play for them. They'll offer you a bus pass and a sack of Big League Chew. Take a hike, Finley! Oh, and by the way, that pitcher had his second great spring start against the Pads, serving up 6 shut out innings. Sounds good, I'll have that.
In other baseball news...
Sidney Ponson, "Ace" pitcher for the Baltimore Orioles (Little known fact I made up: Orioles are some of the fiercest predators in the animal kingdom, only slightly less ferocious than the Santa Cruz Banana Slug) has been involved in a fracas and damaged his uber talented hand. Apparently 11 days in an Aruban jail did not have the rehabilatory (made that word up too) effect you'd think. You play for a bad team. People are going to heckle you. Stop hitting them.
Here's a good one. Yesterday's spring training game between the Rockies and the D'backs (Diamondbacks to the layperson) in Tuscon was called on account of bees. Bees? Ef bees! I'd have gone out there and punched every bee in the face.
O.J. Simpson didn't kill his wife.
Robert Blake didn't kill his wife.
Ray Lewis never killed anybody.
Rae Carruth is trying to appeal his conviction for killing his wife based on the compelling argument that those guys got away with it, and he was easily more famous than Robert Blake when [Carruth] alledgedly killed his wife than Blake was when he didn't kill his wife. Everybody get that?
There's your Friday content people. Eat it up with a spoon.
The Angels started a pitcher yesterday that had earlier told the Padres that he wanted to play for them so much that he was willing to be flexible in contract negotiations. We all know how that turns out. Never tell the Padres you'd be willing to take less than market value to play for them. They'll offer you a bus pass and a sack of Big League Chew. Take a hike, Finley! Oh, and by the way, that pitcher had his second great spring start against the Pads, serving up 6 shut out innings. Sounds good, I'll have that.
In other baseball news...
Sidney Ponson, "Ace" pitcher for the Baltimore Orioles (Little known fact I made up: Orioles are some of the fiercest predators in the animal kingdom, only slightly less ferocious than the Santa Cruz Banana Slug) has been involved in a fracas and damaged his uber talented hand. Apparently 11 days in an Aruban jail did not have the rehabilatory (made that word up too) effect you'd think. You play for a bad team. People are going to heckle you. Stop hitting them.
Here's a good one. Yesterday's spring training game between the Rockies and the D'backs (Diamondbacks to the layperson) in Tuscon was called on account of bees. Bees? Ef bees! I'd have gone out there and punched every bee in the face.
O.J. Simpson didn't kill his wife.
Robert Blake didn't kill his wife.
Ray Lewis never killed anybody.
Rae Carruth is trying to appeal his conviction for killing his wife based on the compelling argument that those guys got away with it, and he was easily more famous than Robert Blake when [Carruth] alledgedly killed his wife than Blake was when he didn't kill his wife. Everybody get that?
There's your Friday content people. Eat it up with a spoon.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Meh...Whatever.
I don't really care that much. The point I was trying to make is that this man has made a fortune in his career, and part of making that kind of money for a job that is essentially in show business is being under intense public scrutiny. I think most people in the business realize this. I think most of them realize it as soon as they start outperforming every player in their high school division. To think that you deserve special consideration from the media is ludicrous. Especially if you are, ARGUABLY, the best player to ever play the game. Also, if Barry Bonds hadn't been a dick to the people who earn their comparably meager salaries reporting on his daily goings on since day one, I think the coverage would be somewhat more sympathetic. Rose cheated and lied about it, acting as though he was smart enough to pull the wool over the eyes of the world when it was obvious to all that he was guilty. He was smug and arrogant. It was an insult to fans and people in the baseball world. Bonds has done the same and it is impossible for me to feel sorry for the guy. Oh, and I know I've mentioned the size of his melon before, but the truth is, I don't care how big it is, as long as he's not trying to violate me with it.
Let Me Get This Straight...
Just for the record, I noticed this yesterday but failed to actually realize the implications that lie within. You don't like Barry, obviously, nor do I so much, personally. But, he is the greatest baseball player ever, and no one save Pete Rose and maybe a handful of others have received the intense scrutiny of the media specifically targeted to derail the Bonds train. To derail the train that will super glue his name to the record books. A name that many in the media and baseball don't care to be associated with. Were this Mickey Mantle, or Joe D. we would be celebrating every night on SportsCenter and the front page of the local and national daily rags as well. Instead we are reduced to insulting the size of the guys dome...
I am truly grateful that you were able to support your point so well by quoting the ever so popular bastion of baseballing Raul Mondesi. He is quite frankly the most upstanding, team oriented, credible baseball player since Hose Canseco, or Alan Wiggins. You go on to further your point with an Al Davis reference.
Maybe Barry doesn't deserve our sympathies as a player. But far be it from me to attempt to ruin a man personally for the sake of ratings or a record book. You should all be ashamed of yourselves...
I am truly grateful that you were able to support your point so well by quoting the ever so popular bastion of baseballing Raul Mondesi. He is quite frankly the most upstanding, team oriented, credible baseball player since Hose Canseco, or Alan Wiggins. You go on to further your point with an Al Davis reference.
Maybe Barry doesn't deserve our sympathies as a player. But far be it from me to attempt to ruin a man personally for the sake of ratings or a record book. You should all be ashamed of yourselves...
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
What the !@#$ Are You Talking About?
First off, Bonds is not retiring. Puh-lease! As Raul Mondesi said yesterday, he was having a big fat emotional "my body hurts and the media picks on me day." He'll be back before you have a chance to realize you don't really care as much as you think you do.
Secondly, he broke the law. I don't mean the "laws of baseball, oooooooh," I mean the actual freaking law. The non-prescription sale or acquisition of steroids is and has been against the law for quite some time now, if I'm not mistaken. Lying to a Grand Jury, as far as I know, is not a right that we, as Americans, are entitled to. Are these crimes tantamount to the crimes that guys like Ray Lewis and Leonard Little "alledgedly" committed? Not in my mind, but they are crimes none-the-less.
And C, being in the media spotlight sure does suck. Doesn't seem to be worth anywhere near the millions upon millions of dollars he makes for being able to hit a ball with a stick real good.
As far as cheating. Who the hell cares about cheating? I don't even want to begin to imagine how many professional athletes are finding new and exciting ways to get a leg up on the competition. I deplore the fact they do it, but you certainly can't hold up Barry as if the whole thing were his idea. Especially when we all know that cheating itself was Al Davis' idea. What bothers me is that this guy would have been a HoF player regardless of his power numbers. So why'd he do it? Was he too banged up to go on, but loved the game too much to give it up? Fine, say that. Hard to beat a guy down too hard for a heartfelt admission. Too bad he can't go back and play that card now. It would be an admission of guilt at this point that would most certainly be used in any pending criminal trials. Only the race card and the media is evil card remain.
I'm sorry your kids are crying over what the media prints, Barry, but maybe if you hadn't always held yourself so high above the cost of fame and fortune for all these years, it wouldn't be so easy for the people you've treated like parasites too hash out your indescretions over and over again. Something about laying in a bed you made or grave you dug.
Lastly, many of you will say that I would feel differently if Bonds was a Padre. Well, that, my friends, is just plain ridiculous. The Padres would never pay a player what Barry makes, and if they did, he'd have been traded before the back end kicked in anyway.
Secondly, he broke the law. I don't mean the "laws of baseball, oooooooh," I mean the actual freaking law. The non-prescription sale or acquisition of steroids is and has been against the law for quite some time now, if I'm not mistaken. Lying to a Grand Jury, as far as I know, is not a right that we, as Americans, are entitled to. Are these crimes tantamount to the crimes that guys like Ray Lewis and Leonard Little "alledgedly" committed? Not in my mind, but they are crimes none-the-less.
And C, being in the media spotlight sure does suck. Doesn't seem to be worth anywhere near the millions upon millions of dollars he makes for being able to hit a ball with a stick real good.
As far as cheating. Who the hell cares about cheating? I don't even want to begin to imagine how many professional athletes are finding new and exciting ways to get a leg up on the competition. I deplore the fact they do it, but you certainly can't hold up Barry as if the whole thing were his idea. Especially when we all know that cheating itself was Al Davis' idea. What bothers me is that this guy would have been a HoF player regardless of his power numbers. So why'd he do it? Was he too banged up to go on, but loved the game too much to give it up? Fine, say that. Hard to beat a guy down too hard for a heartfelt admission. Too bad he can't go back and play that card now. It would be an admission of guilt at this point that would most certainly be used in any pending criminal trials. Only the race card and the media is evil card remain.
I'm sorry your kids are crying over what the media prints, Barry, but maybe if you hadn't always held yourself so high above the cost of fame and fortune for all these years, it wouldn't be so easy for the people you've treated like parasites too hash out your indescretions over and over again. Something about laying in a bed you made or grave you dug.
Lastly, many of you will say that I would feel differently if Bonds was a Padre. Well, that, my friends, is just plain ridiculous. The Padres would never pay a player what Barry makes, and if they did, he'd have been traded before the back end kicked in anyway.
Saying Goodbye to Barry?
In what has been sweepingly dismissed as Barry being Barry, and just tired, and run down, and injured, is it time that we contemplate the larger picture here? Are we at the end of the career of Barry Bonds? If this question was posed to me a few years back I would have thought that I would relish this day more than the birthday I celebrated in Cabo San Lucas this past January. But now that it appears to be a very real possibility that baseball may lose the best player that has ever played the game, I am at a loss. If this is the case, and Barry truly does retire, there will be an immense fissure left in his absence, the likes of which will not be filled any time soon, if ever.
I am not the largest proponent of Barry Bonds. I cannot say that watching him pepper the seats across Jack Murphy Stadium for years was ever very pleasant. I cannot say that watching him surgically pull potential friar home runs back from the void in left field was delightful. I cannot say that watching the number one Padre Killer was ever very fun. But, I can say that Barry Bonds was a fantastic baseball player. He was a monumental baseball player and in my opinion the best player who ever played the game. Not the most liked certainly, but definitely the best. Did Barry get a bad wrap? Well, he always did what he wanted and made no bones about the fact that he was who he was and if you didn’t like Barry, it made no difference to him. What has happened that has led us to the current situation that we find ourselves in? Has the media succeeded, as Barry said yesterday, “You wanted me to jump off the bridge, I finally did.”? Have they? Has he been forced from the game?
Barry Bonds takes steroids. Barry Bonds has extramarital affairs. Barry Bonds has a huge head. Barry Bonds lied to the grand jury. All of these things have been stated ad nausiam. My question is why? Why is the media trying to take down a historic symbol of our “national pastime”? When did the media switch sides and start trying to vilify our heroes instead of celebrate them? Have we regressed back to a society of good ‘ol boys that doesn’t want to see a black man break a sacred holy white man’s record? For those in the media who still don’t know, Babe Ruth’s record has already been broken. And, yes, they guy who broke that record was not white. Is this still a case of race?
I want to say no, but the parallels to what is happening with Barry and what happened to the greats of the past are staggering to me. In not so many words, the media over the past few years has painted Barry as a cheater, of both the game and in his personal life. An adulterer, a liar, and a cheat, with a big head, sickening personal attacks which would ruin any average Joe by the end of the day. But not Barry, he has put up with this for years now. There are never positives in a Barry story anymore, there are just tales of lying, cheating and deceit that fill the pages daily. Almost as if to challenge him even more, to make the game that much harder for him. A game that seems so staggeringly easy for this man that he may just quit, truly leaving no doubt in my mind that he is the best of all time and that any and all of the most coveted and celebrated records of the game would have fallen at his hands. Even more staggering is that it seems as if he could leave now, content, and happy to have his life back, be out of the intense scrutiny of the media, knowing full well that no one has ever, or will ever play the game like he did. Barry just didn’t leave a mark on the game, he changed the game, and left a gaping scar in his wake that will never be erased.
I can’t say that I have ever been a Barry Bonds fan. But, as a baseball fan, Barry has been one of the most exceptional assets of the game. I have had the pleasure and pain of watching the best baseball player to ever play the game during my lifetime. Part of me hopes he walks away, content with his accomplishments and leaving no doubt in most minds that the two records he had left to conquer would have crumbled. The other part of me hopes that he comes back, so I can be a part of the moment when he does cement his legacy on the game. And I hope the media is there to acknowledge him and celebrate the man that changed baseball.
I am not the largest proponent of Barry Bonds. I cannot say that watching him pepper the seats across Jack Murphy Stadium for years was ever very pleasant. I cannot say that watching him surgically pull potential friar home runs back from the void in left field was delightful. I cannot say that watching the number one Padre Killer was ever very fun. But, I can say that Barry Bonds was a fantastic baseball player. He was a monumental baseball player and in my opinion the best player who ever played the game. Not the most liked certainly, but definitely the best. Did Barry get a bad wrap? Well, he always did what he wanted and made no bones about the fact that he was who he was and if you didn’t like Barry, it made no difference to him. What has happened that has led us to the current situation that we find ourselves in? Has the media succeeded, as Barry said yesterday, “You wanted me to jump off the bridge, I finally did.”? Have they? Has he been forced from the game?
Barry Bonds takes steroids. Barry Bonds has extramarital affairs. Barry Bonds has a huge head. Barry Bonds lied to the grand jury. All of these things have been stated ad nausiam. My question is why? Why is the media trying to take down a historic symbol of our “national pastime”? When did the media switch sides and start trying to vilify our heroes instead of celebrate them? Have we regressed back to a society of good ‘ol boys that doesn’t want to see a black man break a sacred holy white man’s record? For those in the media who still don’t know, Babe Ruth’s record has already been broken. And, yes, they guy who broke that record was not white. Is this still a case of race?
I want to say no, but the parallels to what is happening with Barry and what happened to the greats of the past are staggering to me. In not so many words, the media over the past few years has painted Barry as a cheater, of both the game and in his personal life. An adulterer, a liar, and a cheat, with a big head, sickening personal attacks which would ruin any average Joe by the end of the day. But not Barry, he has put up with this for years now. There are never positives in a Barry story anymore, there are just tales of lying, cheating and deceit that fill the pages daily. Almost as if to challenge him even more, to make the game that much harder for him. A game that seems so staggeringly easy for this man that he may just quit, truly leaving no doubt in my mind that he is the best of all time and that any and all of the most coveted and celebrated records of the game would have fallen at his hands. Even more staggering is that it seems as if he could leave now, content, and happy to have his life back, be out of the intense scrutiny of the media, knowing full well that no one has ever, or will ever play the game like he did. Barry just didn’t leave a mark on the game, he changed the game, and left a gaping scar in his wake that will never be erased.
I can’t say that I have ever been a Barry Bonds fan. But, as a baseball fan, Barry has been one of the most exceptional assets of the game. I have had the pleasure and pain of watching the best baseball player to ever play the game during my lifetime. Part of me hopes he walks away, content with his accomplishments and leaving no doubt in most minds that the two records he had left to conquer would have crumbled. The other part of me hopes that he comes back, so I can be a part of the moment when he does cement his legacy on the game. And I hope the media is there to acknowledge him and celebrate the man that changed baseball.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Yeah, Whatever. I Got Hosed.
And I accept that fact. 95 RBI, are you kidding me? My Padres love knows no rational bounds. But, after that "friendly wager" and the other one that I made on UConn, I have something to decree to all who know me. Any wagers that I make whilst hammering my brain with alcohol, will be forthwith welched upon! That goes for you Jerks in Vegas, too! Eh, who am I kidding? It takes me years to pay off my "friendly wagers" anyway.
Interesting Cactus League Developments lately. By the way, why does preseason baseball give their division cool little quirky names like Cactus and Grapefruit, but when the meat of the season comes around we get plain old National League and American League? Boring. How about the Camaro League or the Flying Crocodile League? And East/Central/West divisions? Buy a map if you need to know where Baltimore is, but let's sell some kick-ass T-shirts and key chains here people. Who wouldn't a San Diego Padres Hurricane League Death Adder Division Champion Padres nylon baseball jacket? Some jerk, that's who wouldn't!...anyway.
The Pads have actually starting waking up in the old Cactus League, winning their last 6 and coming alive with the bats here and there. Dave Roberts is back in the line-up, Xavier Nady is playing so well that there is actually talk of him usurping Sean Burroughs at 3rd, and Darrell May only gave up 1 run in 4 innings yesterday. Unfortunately in those same 4 innings May gave up 4 more walks, and walks are have been a problem for Padres pitchers in the not too distant past.
All in all, regardless of some still to be answered questions (like why is there no competition for the 5 spot when at least 1 of our minor league pitchers has outperformed May?), it's hard not to get excited about another year of Friar baseball. With the start of the season right around the corner, the wait is almost over and we will finally be able to fill the void left by our nation's 4th biggest sport, Curling. Face it, Curling season's just about over people. And it not coming back. Until whenever it is that Curling season starts again. That is, assuming Curling has a season. Whatever. Just try to enjoy some baseball, okay? Go Ted's Padres!!!
Interesting Cactus League Developments lately. By the way, why does preseason baseball give their division cool little quirky names like Cactus and Grapefruit, but when the meat of the season comes around we get plain old National League and American League? Boring. How about the Camaro League or the Flying Crocodile League? And East/Central/West divisions? Buy a map if you need to know where Baltimore is, but let's sell some kick-ass T-shirts and key chains here people. Who wouldn't a San Diego Padres Hurricane League Death Adder Division Champion Padres nylon baseball jacket? Some jerk, that's who wouldn't!...anyway.
The Pads have actually starting waking up in the old Cactus League, winning their last 6 and coming alive with the bats here and there. Dave Roberts is back in the line-up, Xavier Nady is playing so well that there is actually talk of him usurping Sean Burroughs at 3rd, and Darrell May only gave up 1 run in 4 innings yesterday. Unfortunately in those same 4 innings May gave up 4 more walks, and walks are have been a problem for Padres pitchers in the not too distant past.
All in all, regardless of some still to be answered questions (like why is there no competition for the 5 spot when at least 1 of our minor league pitchers has outperformed May?), it's hard not to get excited about another year of Friar baseball. With the start of the season right around the corner, the wait is almost over and we will finally be able to fill the void left by our nation's 4th biggest sport, Curling. Face it, Curling season's just about over people. And it not coming back. Until whenever it is that Curling season starts again. That is, assuming Curling has a season. Whatever. Just try to enjoy some baseball, okay? Go Ted's Padres!!!
A Fortnight?
Two weeks. Two weeks from now we will be entering what is the sacred friar time. This won’t be pre-season, it won’t be practice. It will be the real deal. So what can we expect from the ol’ball club this 2005 time around the diamond?
Well first, Ryan Klesko is going to have a huge year. There are a couple of reasons for this, of course none of these reasons are the slight bit valid or based on any rational thinking. These justifications stem from pure gut feeling, the kind of feeling you get when you just know that next card you draw is going to be the one that makes your hand and cracks the one of the poor sap sitting across from you. Not that I would know what that is like what so ever.
First, he was horrible last year. Just abominable. I would guarantee that if you asked Ryan about his performance last year he would be terribly disappointed. He did manage to put it together the last month of the season or so, and started showing signs of being the hitter he once was. But, home run totals, or lack of them plagued our troubled outfield all season, and it is very conservative to say that Ryan wasn’t making up much for a lack of offensive production out there in left. I have seen riots across the globe in which protesters were fielding canisters of tear gas better than Ryan was playing the baseball last year.
Last season’s performance aside, the one factor that will virtually ensure that Ryan will be M.V.P. this year is my big mouth. Yep, I had to go and open it, and well a “friendly wager” ensued, and now of course I will lose the bet. Yes, my cohort here and I decided that a wager was necessary after the decree that Ryan would be back. Upon reflection of his 2004 attempt at baseballing, I began to chastise my cohort here for saying such ludicrous things. After a bit of bartering for statistics we settled what would be considered the numbers that would qualify Ryan having a “big” year for us this season. For simplicity we stuck to the triple-crown stats, and they go something like this:
Klesko’s Good Year:
.287/25/95
Now, I think that the home run total is low. I think that if I told Klesko he would hit 25 home runs this season, he would say that number would be higher. The average number is a toss up, this guy could hit .320 or he could hit .265, if he is healthy and out of that rut he couldn’t seem to climb out of last year, .287 is very reachable. Finally, the RBI. This could be a tough number to reach. A lot of other factors are going to have to come together for this category to be successfully completed.
All in all, I think we have a very fair and balanced wager here that will hold our interest in this upcoming baseball season at least on one level. The season tickets will help as well, the semi-new ballbark is still shiny and a great experience for baseball watching. Two weeks away. Two weeks.
Well first, Ryan Klesko is going to have a huge year. There are a couple of reasons for this, of course none of these reasons are the slight bit valid or based on any rational thinking. These justifications stem from pure gut feeling, the kind of feeling you get when you just know that next card you draw is going to be the one that makes your hand and cracks the one of the poor sap sitting across from you. Not that I would know what that is like what so ever.
First, he was horrible last year. Just abominable. I would guarantee that if you asked Ryan about his performance last year he would be terribly disappointed. He did manage to put it together the last month of the season or so, and started showing signs of being the hitter he once was. But, home run totals, or lack of them plagued our troubled outfield all season, and it is very conservative to say that Ryan wasn’t making up much for a lack of offensive production out there in left. I have seen riots across the globe in which protesters were fielding canisters of tear gas better than Ryan was playing the baseball last year.
Last season’s performance aside, the one factor that will virtually ensure that Ryan will be M.V.P. this year is my big mouth. Yep, I had to go and open it, and well a “friendly wager” ensued, and now of course I will lose the bet. Yes, my cohort here and I decided that a wager was necessary after the decree that Ryan would be back. Upon reflection of his 2004 attempt at baseballing, I began to chastise my cohort here for saying such ludicrous things. After a bit of bartering for statistics we settled what would be considered the numbers that would qualify Ryan having a “big” year for us this season. For simplicity we stuck to the triple-crown stats, and they go something like this:
Klesko’s Good Year:
.287/25/95
Now, I think that the home run total is low. I think that if I told Klesko he would hit 25 home runs this season, he would say that number would be higher. The average number is a toss up, this guy could hit .320 or he could hit .265, if he is healthy and out of that rut he couldn’t seem to climb out of last year, .287 is very reachable. Finally, the RBI. This could be a tough number to reach. A lot of other factors are going to have to come together for this category to be successfully completed.
All in all, I think we have a very fair and balanced wager here that will hold our interest in this upcoming baseball season at least on one level. The season tickets will help as well, the semi-new ballbark is still shiny and a great experience for baseball watching. Two weeks away. Two weeks.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Put Your Money On Ismael Valdez To Win At Least Two Games In The World Series This Year.
A lot of people who know me might say that I've just been waiting to jump all over this one. Truth is, I haven't paid an exhorbitant amount of attention to spring ball so I can't tell the whole story. But here is what I do know. Darrel May, the ole 5 spot, gave up 5 (3 earned) in 3.2 innings against Oakland yesterday. I guess you could make some kind of case that that isn't terrible (He kept the ERA under 9), but I have to say I'm a bit worried (Did I mention he mixed in 4 walks?). This guy isn't even competing for the 5th spot in the rotation. That's right! Bochy, God love him (And it seems everybody else does too, for some reason), has already said, repeatedly, that May's position is etched in stone. Nobody breathing down his neck. No pressure.
It's no small wonder that the player's love Boch. See, I have this theory. Guys who played baseball as bench guys for so many years have this little league mentality. Everbody gets to play. They know how it feels to sit there and watch those showy every day bastards strut their stuff. That's one of the reasons we've essentially sucked since '98. Our bench has been terrible, but Bochy won't rest until everybody gets 400 at-bats. Quit living in the past Bochy! You remind me of those guys who become congressmen so they can ban dodgeball.
Okay, okay, okay. I know it's not all Bochy. You work with what you got. And he hasn't done terrible in that respect. But watch for a couple of things this season. He'll take Klesko out against lefties for a right handed bat, even though the guy he puts in will have a lowere average against lefties. Bank on it. And when we play premiere pitchers, he'll rest everybody. He gives away those games. Never gets after the big guys, and that'll kill you if you make the postseason. Rant rant rant rant rant. God, I'm grumpy today!
It's no small wonder that the player's love Boch. See, I have this theory. Guys who played baseball as bench guys for so many years have this little league mentality. Everbody gets to play. They know how it feels to sit there and watch those showy every day bastards strut their stuff. That's one of the reasons we've essentially sucked since '98. Our bench has been terrible, but Bochy won't rest until everybody gets 400 at-bats. Quit living in the past Bochy! You remind me of those guys who become congressmen so they can ban dodgeball.
Okay, okay, okay. I know it's not all Bochy. You work with what you got. And he hasn't done terrible in that respect. But watch for a couple of things this season. He'll take Klesko out against lefties for a right handed bat, even though the guy he puts in will have a lowere average against lefties. Bank on it. And when we play premiere pitchers, he'll rest everybody. He gives away those games. Never gets after the big guys, and that'll kill you if you make the postseason. Rant rant rant rant rant. God, I'm grumpy today!
Seven Killed By Something
I really don't understand this. Being that there is typically nothing to report on the Padres baseball front, you would think that when there is an actual story it might actually be reported on. No. No. No. You are not journalists. The Padres do not butter your bread. That is just not the way it works at all. Fools! See, it's like this. Today in the San Diego Union Tribune Post Adviser Journal Times there was a fluff piece about how many different hats, or gloves as the case may be, that Xavier Nady (X to those of us "in the know") wears on the playing field. This boy has already put in time at left, right, 1st and 3rd in spring training. Turns out they've been playing him out in center the last couple of days now, as well. Why, you ask? Damn good question! I'll tell you. Seems that the only signing we made this offseason that made any sense, Dave Roberts, has a bit of a GROIN INJURY that has gone from "being sore to a concern." That's it. That's all they had to say about that. That's in depth journalism right there people. All your questions, your concerns...ADDRESSED!!! Article does not mention how X is doing at lead off.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Surely There Has To Be Something Else To Write About.
Sportswriters- and by that I mean the guys who get paid for their glorious insight- piss me off. I don't know if I've ever mentioned that before in this web log (I hate the word blog ever since they actually put it in the dictionary).
Now I know that nobody is going to write anything about the Padres, cause let's face it, they haven't done anything. At all. And I understand that there is a big Red Sox vs. Yankee thing going on that makes for "interesting" copy. And being that steroids are du jour at the moment, you have to address players like Jason Giambi. But seriously, is it necessary to make up new and exciting issues to write about in reference to these two monumentally overpaid and annoying franchises? One dickhead has actually been going around asking GMs, managers and other front office types for other teams what they thought of the Yankees lineup vs. the Red Sox lineup. Are you insane? Is this not the most insulting thing going in sports right now? I wouldn't be surprised if the questioning went something like this: "Which teams lineup would you least want to have pummel the crap out of your team in the post season?" Unbelievable.
Quick hits:
Woody Williams gave up 8 runs in 2 innings yesterday. Last I checked, we already have Brian Lawrence, I thought we were trying to replace David Wells.
Rick Ankiel has shifted from once dominating pitching prospect to the outfield. I'm betting he won't be setting any records for outfield put outs at the plate.
In an effort to dethrone last year's biggest pain in the ass, Milton Bradley, Mike Cameron has had his agent tell the Mets not to trade him. I say fine. Cut him instead.
The Astros are apparently a team that's gone from being the hottest regular season franchise at the end of last season, to a team in serious trouble. Notably needing a decent replacement in CF for Carlos Delgado. Who cares?
Ken Griffey Jr. has a testy hamstring. Might miss a few games this year.
The Detroit Tigers have made some moves this off season. Particularly in their bullpen. Will probably still suck.
Well, being as this season is all about poor but plentiful content, I fell pretty good about the preceding post. Til next time, keep on rockin' in the free world!
Now I know that nobody is going to write anything about the Padres, cause let's face it, they haven't done anything. At all. And I understand that there is a big Red Sox vs. Yankee thing going on that makes for "interesting" copy. And being that steroids are du jour at the moment, you have to address players like Jason Giambi. But seriously, is it necessary to make up new and exciting issues to write about in reference to these two monumentally overpaid and annoying franchises? One dickhead has actually been going around asking GMs, managers and other front office types for other teams what they thought of the Yankees lineup vs. the Red Sox lineup. Are you insane? Is this not the most insulting thing going in sports right now? I wouldn't be surprised if the questioning went something like this: "Which teams lineup would you least want to have pummel the crap out of your team in the post season?" Unbelievable.
Quick hits:
Woody Williams gave up 8 runs in 2 innings yesterday. Last I checked, we already have Brian Lawrence, I thought we were trying to replace David Wells.
Rick Ankiel has shifted from once dominating pitching prospect to the outfield. I'm betting he won't be setting any records for outfield put outs at the plate.
In an effort to dethrone last year's biggest pain in the ass, Milton Bradley, Mike Cameron has had his agent tell the Mets not to trade him. I say fine. Cut him instead.
The Astros are apparently a team that's gone from being the hottest regular season franchise at the end of last season, to a team in serious trouble. Notably needing a decent replacement in CF for Carlos Delgado. Who cares?
Ken Griffey Jr. has a testy hamstring. Might miss a few games this year.
The Detroit Tigers have made some moves this off season. Particularly in their bullpen. Will probably still suck.
Well, being as this season is all about poor but plentiful content, I fell pretty good about the preceding post. Til next time, keep on rockin' in the free world!
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Baseball? Hmm. Yeah. I Can Do Baseball.
More content? That's going to be tough, considering that from what I've read in the media, Major League Baseball(New Motto: That Ball is Almost Outta Here!) has been contracted down to four teams. The Yankees, Red Sox, Cubs and Barry Bonds. And don't give me the Mets, they're made for TV. So I don't know what this San Diego squad my cohort is talking about is, but- oh wait, never mind. Turns out baseball only contracted the Expos. And brought back the Senators. Only now the Senators are called the Nationals. The Nationals are apparently even more popular with foreign ballplayers than Omar Minaya's Mets, since signed players are automatically given U.S. citizenship. Freaking. Slay. Myself. Can I get a stinking rim shot here?! (Totally out of practice people).
Anyway, can't wait for another top notch season from all the teams in the MLB (New Motto: Now with 20% more testing!). Small ball is the rule of the day this year, and with newly acquired center fielder Dave Roberts taking every third at bat, look for Our Padres to make a strong go of it. Until I feel like writing again, see you in Peoria!!!
Anyway, can't wait for another top notch season from all the teams in the MLB (New Motto: Now with 20% more testing!). Small ball is the rule of the day this year, and with newly acquired center fielder Dave Roberts taking every third at bat, look for Our Padres to make a strong go of it. Until I feel like writing again, see you in Peoria!!!
Times are Changing...
So here it is. It’s about that time where we finally put that dreaded footballing season behind us and focus on what lies ahead. The address is the same (for now), the writer’s (cough!) are the same, and the content will be the same. Only the focus of our collective wrath will have changed. It’s baseballing time here in San Diego and I intend to pay attention to our other professional team here in town.
Let’s get a bit of bizness out of the way first. Like I said, the address is the same. It will remain that way until I can figure out how to change it without losing the other one as well. I want for minimal effort on my part to continue this thing so I am scouring the friendship database for computer assistance since I am a jackass. There may be a change, there may not be a change. If there is, rest assured that you will know about it, probably before I do.
There should be plenty of content for your viewing pleasure barring any hospital time due to rampant cases of disease by either myself or the Colossus. Common sense tells me that with ten times the games to review, hopefully more with a playoff run, that there should be ten times the content over here. And of course I am talking quantity not quality. If you want quality look elsewhere, this is after all a site about our San Diego sports teams, we can only be as good over here as the product that is put on the field. Seeing as how we have spent a total of zero dollars to improve our baseballing team this off-season, don’t look for any measurable improvements from our overpaid writing staff either. But, there should still be enough neurons between us to power the remaining semi-disabled brain cells on their upstream journey. At last count there was still a handful or so left. If not I will get my niece to punch on the keyboard three times a week. You won’t know the difference.
As of Monday, the official footballing ban/blackout/lockout period began. That means that there will be no more discussion of our heart wrenching squad for now. None. Not until the launch of what is the dreaded pre-season, ritualistically kicked off each year by the “Couchgate” party. This will be the fourth annual installment. But, that is still spring and summer away. So there is to be no discussion of our footballing team what so ever. The only time that rule may be broken during the blackout period is if something historical or catastrophic happens. For example, the Chargers signing Keenan McCardell to a two year extension today. That does not count. It’s cool. But it doesn’t count. Enough of that…
Finally, as there will be plenty to talk about we welcome all comments and criticism. We welcome all readers so share our garbage with your friends and enemies alike.
It’s time for baseballing…
Let’s get a bit of bizness out of the way first. Like I said, the address is the same. It will remain that way until I can figure out how to change it without losing the other one as well. I want for minimal effort on my part to continue this thing so I am scouring the friendship database for computer assistance since I am a jackass. There may be a change, there may not be a change. If there is, rest assured that you will know about it, probably before I do.
There should be plenty of content for your viewing pleasure barring any hospital time due to rampant cases of disease by either myself or the Colossus. Common sense tells me that with ten times the games to review, hopefully more with a playoff run, that there should be ten times the content over here. And of course I am talking quantity not quality. If you want quality look elsewhere, this is after all a site about our San Diego sports teams, we can only be as good over here as the product that is put on the field. Seeing as how we have spent a total of zero dollars to improve our baseballing team this off-season, don’t look for any measurable improvements from our overpaid writing staff either. But, there should still be enough neurons between us to power the remaining semi-disabled brain cells on their upstream journey. At last count there was still a handful or so left. If not I will get my niece to punch on the keyboard three times a week. You won’t know the difference.
As of Monday, the official footballing ban/blackout/lockout period began. That means that there will be no more discussion of our heart wrenching squad for now. None. Not until the launch of what is the dreaded pre-season, ritualistically kicked off each year by the “Couchgate” party. This will be the fourth annual installment. But, that is still spring and summer away. So there is to be no discussion of our footballing team what so ever. The only time that rule may be broken during the blackout period is if something historical or catastrophic happens. For example, the Chargers signing Keenan McCardell to a two year extension today. That does not count. It’s cool. But it doesn’t count. Enough of that…
Finally, as there will be plenty to talk about we welcome all comments and criticism. We welcome all readers so share our garbage with your friends and enemies alike.
It’s time for baseballing…
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