Saturday, December 29, 2007

And While We're at it...

College Football. I know. I know. This is a Charger place. Not a place for college football. But, I like football and I have something to say about something that I don't really know a whole lot about. This college football thing is interesting.

BCS? Totally unnecessary. Football rankings, sort of impossible especially in this age where everyone has a dog in the fight, well, maybe not until they reach the pro level but for example, the NBA, referrees betting on games. Much like steroids aren't solely baseball's problem, gambling isn't only going on in the NBA.

The regular season should mean something. If you have two loss teams battling it out to be number one, so be it. Football at the college level lately has been terrible. Watch one of the 32 or 89 bowl games whatever the number is and see. Everyone goes to a bowl. Everyone plays terribly in said bowl. Colt McCoy, I saw you fumble three times in your bowl game. Your BOWL GAME. Carpenter, ASU Quarterback, saw you fumble three times too. Your BOWL GAME. Number 6 on ASU, I don't know your name which is a possible impossibility, because you made the t.v. a ton by fumbling twice, one of which when the game was still close causing Texas to go in again and really put you to sleep. Punt returner for MSU? Don't know your name either, but you fumbled twice, fielding punts near or inside your own 10 yard line when your team was down a field goal against BC. BOWL GAME! Oregon State Maryland. That interception/fumble/fumble/punt series of possessions equals awesome football in your bowl game. Same goes for OSU's backup quarterback, the lefty, (Canfield? don't care to look any of this up it's college football) interception in the end zone from the 4 yard line. Bowl Game. And this UConn,Wake game. Fumble on the 2 yard line, score 10-7 UConn second half. Nice work Wake. Bowl Game. UConn way to follow up on that with a near safety/punt finish. Bowl Game. Good lord, it's like no one understands football anymore. And don't get me started on BC trying to air it out with an 11 point lead and 7 minutes to go in the 4th quarter of thier BOWL GAME!!!

I miss college.

I'm Givin' 'er All She Got Cap'n....

I meant to post this the other day, but unfortunately I fell asleep at work during the holidays and failed all of you faithful readers, but here I am back to the task ready to spew forth some wisdom. Sorry Max, but you are getting shoved down the page so that I may expound on this whole Denver and "Champ" thing...

Dear "Champ" Bailey,

It's not your fault. It's really not. I know that you are upset that a 'second tier' quarterback like Philip Rivers torched you like a home in Rancho Bernardo this past weekend. It's certainly not your fault that your mouse of a coach, no, rat, rat of a coach, Mike Shanahan, threw away your 2006 season, a season in which you only had 4 passes completed on you, by replacing the bearded wonder with Jay Cutler when you still had what some call "a shot" at the playoffs. It's certainly not your fault that most of your players were actually "shot" during the offseason, and your linebackers failed physicals and/or were traded as well. Jesus, have you seen the back of your helmet? It looks like a mortuary schedule board, and that was before they added Sean Taylor's number.

It's certainly not your fault that you have a running back that is better at toking the weed and impregnating women than he is at actually running the ball. It's not your fault he has more illegitimate children and suspensions than touchdowns,and that your offensive line is getting old and their cheating tactics are no longer tolerated. It's certainly not your fault that your quarterback might be the next coming of Brian Griese than John Horseface. And well, your punter. Your punter did steroids, pistol whipped and robbed an 96 year old lady after raping her, and single handedly sent the world spiraling into WWIII with his actions in Pakistan this week and got fired. Your new punter is awesome. I hope he gets a long term extension.

Nope "Champ". None of that is your fault. You are like the guy at the gym wearing jeans. The guy that asks you for a spot on every one of his 29 bench press sets, starting with the first one at 135 pounds, in jeans. "Hey bro. You think you can give me a spot on this?" Yeah, in jeans. That's you. Your mom named you "Champ", something you've never been, and you are talking shit about our quarterback talking shit as he was soundly defeating your "professional footballing squad" and I put that in quotes because that is the most recklessly I've ever used that term "professional footballing squad". If you don't like what Phillipe has to say, shut him up by bashing in his head after he completes another 32 yard pass to Chris Chambers on your "Champ" ass. Tell your mom that you actually hate her for titling you "Champ" and your brother "Boss". You both sound like characters in a gay porn movie starring two brothers that fuck each other to death. In jeans.

So, in conclusion "Champ". Shut the fuck up you sorry excuse for a cornerback. You and Dre Bly should go hang out where Darrent Williams got shot. Put on his jersey even, and hopefully the same gang that still hasn't been apprehended for his murder will put you out of your misery and your teammates helmets can look like a collage of the dead. Go to hell you pussy.



And.... hot chick.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Make Of It What You Will.

A lot of people in this town have been bitching about Philip Rivers' "antics" during the fourth quarter of the Christmas Eve game. Well, I say I'd much rather see him mix it up with and taunt the filthy Broncos than whine to the officials about bad calls (see earlier in the year). In my mind Philip made great strides in working his way back into my own personal good graces Monday night. According to this article, the players seem to be more than okay with his on-field attitude as well, but the Broncos sure sound like a bunch of whiny little girls.

It's Very Holiday Time... I don't really feel like doing or writing anything I don't have to. I'll likely get some token bullshit offering of my opinion on the Bolt-Broncs Christmas Eve schellacking up tomorrow, but for now here's some more awesome Carl goodness.

Friday, December 21, 2007

The Sickest Post Ever. Believe It!!!

I’m sorry for posting so sporadically this season. I mean, can you tell how sick of writing this bullshit I am? Can you really?! But screw it, I shall persevere. Today I’m going to go here with a bit of an old Quick Hits gem with a picks combo that’s sure to rattle your sack. Let’s begin.

1) It’s been a great source of entertainment for me to watch people trying to hawk their tickets to Monday night’s game between the Bolts and the Shit Ponies. People were seriously asking for waaay over face value. They’ve come back down to Earth at this point, and I honestly believe you could attend this game for a handful of those awful Circus Peanuts hard candies before all is said and done. Come on, I mean, yeah it’s the Chargers. And yeah, they need to keep winning to avoid Jacksonville and put off the Patriots as long as possible. But the Broncos are just not compelling enough competition at this point to warrant sitting in what passes for cold in San Diego on Christmas Eve for three+ hours. Could they beat us? Stranger things have happened. Do I care? I guess. Did I feel an extreme sense of relief when I did not win tickets to this game in a work raffle I entered this week only so I didn’t look like a poseur Bolts fan? You bet your asses I did.

2) NFL Live on ESPN dedicated no less than 15 minutes on Wednesday to the question, “Will the Dolphins rise up and upset the Patriots this week?” How it takes 15 minutes to say “no” outside of a drunken sexual encounter is beyond me. Well, the Dolphins are not really a first half of the season kind of team, and you can’t really say that the current Dolphins are much of a second half of the season kind of team. A last 3/16ths of a season team, though? Maybe.

3) Casual Charger fans are impossible. These are the people who have had season tickets ever since the glory days when Drew Brees took us to the playoffs three years ago. They know all the players names and they listen to Scott and B.R. on the radio, but they tend to be clueless in regards to the actual game of football. They sport LaDainian Jerseys and Lightning Bolt Beanies and they chug Miller Light and throw Drew Brees stats at you in the bar because you had the balls to fork over $40 bucks for a knock-off Rivers jersey and the fortitude to keep wearing it when the mere sight of yourself in the mirror makes you start to choke. They come to your office and they tell you how we’ve returned to total domination the day after the Bolts managed to pull their heads out of their asses for five minutes and beat what will likely be this year’s best team not to make the playoffs. Then when you say, “Hey, you know what? I was pretty happy with the way we decimated the Lions yesterday,” they start regurgitating back to you everything you’ve been telling them for weeks. “Rivers is too inconsistent at this point in his career to handle the offense Norv is trying to run.” “The O-line can’t handle a solid pass rush for some reason this year.” “I’m pretty sure I saw Quentin Jammer lift Brandon Marshall’s wallet on one play.” They say it like you’ve never mentioned it and it takes you a while to realize that Scott and B.R. must have mentioned it that morning. The only question is, “Who pointed it out to those guys?”

As for tomorrow’s game, I’m sure Shanahan would love to show the world he can still get it up as the sun begins to set on his career, but much like I’d like to prove I could ride a skateboard off a curb without breaking my hip these days, it ain’t happening people.
Bolts 38, Shit Ponies 20

Another reason to hate the Patriots? Sure, why not? They’re going to murder Flipper on Sunday. And Flipper was adorable. Now Zipper, that’s another story. He’s surly. Samkon Gado is no Zipper.
Pats 44, Fins 3

I take the Steelers over the Rams in last night’s game by a score of 41-24.

Browns roll Cincinnati because I just spelled their name wrong for the billionth time (thank you, spellcheck) 52-38

Giants beat Buffalo because new rookie QB Edwards is no better than old QB Losman 27-14.

Those are the only games I know of off the top of my head so that’s all you get.

BONUS CROTCHETY OLD MAN RANT: What the fuck is up with skinny jeans? Come on, white teenagers of America! You can do better than that. You look like a bunch of fags. Even the wiggas are laughing at you. Hmm, maybe I’m just jealous because I can’t wear them. As my good friend Erik pointed out to me in front of a classroom full of people in the eighth grade, I have a black man’s ass. It was traumatic at the time, then I felt blacktastic, and now it’s just sad.

No pictures, they take time and that sucks. I may post Christmas gifts this weekend so check back if you care. If I don't see you over the holiday it doesn't mean I don't like you, but it sure doesn't mean I do. Merry Christmas, losers. Go Bolts!!!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

More Carl.

I hate to push CJ's post down the page like this, especially for something that is neither really football nor San Diego related, but hey, it's Carl. When you're done, be sure to keep scrolling.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Deetwah is French for Bad Football...

I've seen some pretty miserable things in my lifetime. Believe me the list is long and painful. So, as a result it's tough for me to get excited about certain things. Jagermeister Girls, no problem. High powered pressure hose in my pants. Detroit football squad, wow, not so much. Suday bred yet another page in the chapter that remains unfinished in this weird football season.

The game itself was merely a distraction from the holiday madness. Cheerleaders donned santa outfits which I find to be the absolute tits. LTD did what we all know he is routinely capable of and decided that 30 minutes of football was more than enough. To put into perspective how bad Detroit is, Darren Sproles who is about the same size as my 7 year old niece ran for better than 115 yards on 25 carries. What? The guy is a waterbug, shifty and running all on heart. He'd not start for any team in this league, and nearly found himself jobless at the start of the season. Against Detroit? He's a near fucking pro bowler. Sweet fucking Jesus who knew?

This is not to say that the Chargers didn't play well yesterday. They out executed the Motown Pussy Cats on both sides of the ball, and God clearly now hates both John Kitna and Kurt Warner. In fact, I think God would rather some people shut their fucking fat pie holes instead of singing his praises. He's God. He certainly doesn't need a washed up grocery bagger and a never was bible thumper throwing picks in his name. He's fucking God. I think he can handle his own publicity if he would like to. Everybody's got a blog, don't you think God could have one too if he so desired? Maybe John, God doesn't like you. Five picks? Christ man, maybe all of your prayin' is cutting into your practice time...

As it was so eloquently highlighted by Max here, and over at the suck start festival at the Union Trib, we're going to the fucking Super Bowl and no one can fucking stop the red rocket that is us. It's like a goddammed short bus full of retards over there flapping their face lips, and I swear if most of them bent over and took a violently audible shit, it would sound far more intellectual than the drivel actually coming out of their mouths. Believe me, this was a good win, but hey, how bout we save the dick sucking party until we beat somebody with a +.500 record?

I know, I know, pessimism reigns supreme over here yet again. I'm not trying to derail the train that is slowly inching it's way down the track. I feel good about the win. We destroyed an otherwise pathetic opponent. As we should have. So, we'll go ahead and win out, possibly even leapfrogging Pittsburgh in the process. And that's all so fucking great. I'm going to wait and see how the playoff business shakes out now that we've secured our spot. Are we going to win a game in the so called postseason? Who fucking knows? If you say you do, you are a fucking liar. You don't know. No one does. We'll have to wait and see. So if you all insist on continuing the fellatio parade, I'll be at the strip club lobbing dollar bills as recklessly as God's quarterback lobs footballs.

I will however get in line at the fellatio parade if the lovely what's her tits is the Grand Marshall...

Stop Hitting Yourself, Detroit!

I'm not even going to link Canepa's column today, because I can't bear to send any traffic his way, but suffice it to say that Norv Turner is completely vindicated in regards to his entire head-coaching career. And with that vindication comes the security of AJ Smith's overwhelming genius. Philip Rivers apparently had a "real good" day that wasn't helped by Antonio Gates dropping a pass in the end zone. Never mind that Gates was double-covered and has nothing to prove to anyone at this point in his career. A guy on the radio this morning pointed out how we are now the 3rd seed and if we keep that ranking we will likely play a game against Indy in the second round, which is a team we will very likely beat for some reason. Don't people realize that this is why our city is full of transplants that hate the Chargers and the Padres? Alas, most of them never really experienced the dominance of the Sockers.

All that being said, yesterday was a really fun day to be a Chargers fan. As our team kept up with it's time-honored tradition of kicking bad teams while they are down, one couldn't help but think that this team really could hang with the Colts or the Patriots. Hell, I know how drunk I was. Seriously, though, we could play with the big boys. For an undefeated team, the Pats haven't blown me away much over the last month. Indy has been scarier, and they're not even healthy, but for some reason Adam Vinitieri does not like to kick field goals against us. So we got that going for us. It doesn't really matter whether we can play with those teams or not, however, because we don't really have a choice. Those are likely the teams we're going to have to play. But keeping the 3rd seed is huge. I'll take a match-up versus Cleveland over Jax anyday. But let's get a couple things straight. Philip Rivers had a "real good" day yesterday because TBE lifted the team on his shoulders, as he is wont to do, and Norvindicated Turner didn't have to ask him to do much at all. And don't forget little Darren Sproles and his big-ole heart! Our defense and all-time Chargers record holders for INTs in a season Antonio Cromartie had a little something to do with the outcome as well. All in all, I relish the victory and for the first time this year, I have real hope. But I'm certainly not going to say that on the radio. God. Nice win, Go Bolts!!!

P.S. People at the game, stop texting me that I should be at the game. It's annoying.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Not Much, But It's Somethin'

I’m sorry. I’m lazy this year. Much like the Chargers appear to be kind of blah about the season, I’m pretty blah about this blog. That doesn’t mean, though, that I’m not going to come here every so often and post some such bullshit or what-have-you every week, cause that’s totally my ninja way. Just like the Chargers ninja way seems to be to march a team out onto the field each week and be just good enough to give me hope that we may not spend the next few years squandering away our young, exciting talent even if they have already promised to give Norv Turner another year, whether I like it or not. Next season bodes very well for us. The good news is that the Patriots brought in no less than four big-time free agents before the season and AJ Smith has referred to the Patriots as an organization he tries to model us after. So while prior to this year, we shunned big-time free agents-much like the Patriots of years past-we might actually throw our hat into the ring for some huge and even not so historically “low-key” guys. Can you say Chad Johnson, anybody? It could happen. We’re going to be $30 million under the cap with all our best guys signed. The only money we’ll probably spend in house is some sort of monster contract extension for Cromartie, and I don’t think that’s going to piss anybody off. The bad news is that AJ will probably get into a bidding war with the league to bring The Burner back because he warms our bench so well, and given one more year I’m sure Norv can find a way to play him more. Just kidding, The Burner’s history. But say hello to Chad Johnson and whatever stud MLB is out there. You heard it here first.

“So what about this season?” I hear you saying. Well, this season is looking like a resounding success, of course. Not really, but after Denver all but threw away any hope of snatching the division from us last night (despite us doing everything in our power to help them along, except the 41-3 throttling, I fucking know, leave me alone!) I have to like our chances of making the post season. Also, it could be said that we have a fairly easy road to 11-5 at this point. Detroit, Denver and @ Oakland. All bad teams. We tend to own the bad ones. If that were to happen, there is a very good chance we could unseat Pitt and get to face either Buffalo or Cleveland instead of Jaxonville. In that scenario, I find it very likely we could win our first playoff game since 1994, a feat the Marty Schottenheimer could never achieve!!! A resounding fucking success, bitches!!! Choke on it and hail AJ!!!

I’m not as excited as the exclamation points would probably lead you to believe, but let’s face it, as much as I’ve bitched and moaned about bad playcalling, sophomore QB jitters, and pansy-ass defensive stratagem, I’d be losing my shit during a wildcard victory. But let’s never forget, we have to win ONE MORE GAME.

Which leads us to this week’s match-up against the Detroit Lions, or as I like to call them, the 2002 San Diego Chargers. Look it up, it’s uncanny. We’re decimated on defense this week. Castillo’s still out, and now Jamal Williams and Merriman are out. Check out what DR. Z from SI said about the hit that took Merriman out:

Shawne Merriman got a good hit on Vince Young and knocked him out of action for a while. Then Titans' tight end Ben Hartsock took a shot at Merriman, who limped off the field on a damaged left knee. Revenge hit, said the Chargers afterward. Jeff Fisher ordered it. Now I'm not taking sides in this issue, but if I were the prosecuting attorney, representing the plaintiff Chargers, I'd put Fisher on the stand, and my first question would be, "Now who was your coach again, when you played for the Bears?" "Buddy Ryan," he would say. "The prosecution rests it's case," I'd say.

That’s gold.

Our offense may be without Rivers, and while I myself may or may not have called for him to be benched on an occasion or two this season, Billy Volek looked like he was playing for the field last week and that’s more than a little worrisome. Still, I expect TBE to rack up about 150 yds and 3 TDs on his own this weekend, so I have a feeling we sew it up on Sunday.
Bolts 34, ’02 Bolts 28

Veronica Mars in gold bikini? Yummy. Too geeky? Fine, here's something more traditionally hot for you.

Lucy Pinder being all Christmasy. Go Bolts!!!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Some More Carl For Ya.

This week Carl gives us his thoughts on Mike Vick. The boots from Face Off? Gold.

Monday, December 10, 2007

More Of The Same.

LaDainian Tomlinson never lined up behind Ryan Leaf in San Diego, but I could have sworn he was having flashbacks of those days when he walked away from Philip Rivers on the sideline during yesterday’s game against the Titans. I just don’t know what to think anymore. It’s not fun to kick Rivers while he’s down, but for crying out loud, even when the team wins I find myself wondering if we’re ever going to really turn it on or if we’re just going to count on TBE and Antonio Gates to carry our lousy offense on our shoulders. A lot of people are going to say that this was a big win for us as we finally proved we can beat a team with a winning record on the road-something we’d have to do twice in the playoffs to reach the Super Bowl. Of course, those two teams would like be the Pats and the Colts, and they’re a tad better than the Titans (whom I personally believe will miss the playoffs anyway).

Now, I want Rivers to succeed, just to set the record straight. I hate the QB carousel in San Diego. It pains me that the Chargers have had three bona fide starters in my lifetime spanning a total of about 8 winning seasons spread quite far apart. But right about now this guy is starting to seem appealing.

Yep, that Craig "Wheels on Fire" Whelihan.

Maybe a little dissention in the ranks was needed yesterday, though, because we did win it. No thanks to the coaching if you ask me though. I’m sure Nick Canepa will write a glowing column about Norv Turner’s radical fourth quarter adjustments that allowed the team to overcome a 14 point deficit and win the game in exciting fashion, but the reality is that when you’re at the other team’s one yard line with 22 seconds left, it would probably be in your best interests to put the ball in the hands of your best player a couple of times and take your chances, rather than ask your flailing QB to try three times to make a throw he consistently screws up. Thank God that last attempt went to Gates and not Vincent Jackson or this post would contain far more vitriol than it does. Well, one more win and we’re guaranteed the division, so I guess that’s something.

Update: It's been pointed out how freaky Wheels looks in that there picture, and after thinking about it for a bit, I think I figured it out:

Friday, December 07, 2007

State of the Union...

Things are bleak folks. Don't fool yourselves into some false sense of security. The playoffs, yes they are on the horizon. Don't stand on your high horse laurels and think that this has been some kind of dominating performance. No one talks about us anymore. They are all focused on the beantowners who have yet to feel the crushing defeat of a loss with their arrogant faces stuffed firmly between the Patriot buttcheek train. Don't be fooled by that noise either. Are we any good? No. But we're underdogs and as surprising as it is, the players might eventually decide they remember how last year's gig worked and to hell with what the current adminitration preaches. Do that,.... and you might find yourself rooting for a dangerous team. Play by the rules,.... early exit my friend. It's a valid theory. Think about it. You want to play against a pissed off us? Or the normal run, run, pass us. It's in your hands boys. Handle your shit.

And if you gamble in a spread pool, take points this week. Take all the points you can get. Most dogs win outright this week. I guarantee. I'll say it again. I guarantee. I'm on the other side of the points this week and I feel like I'm looking at a spiked vagina. It's vagina. But there are big, sharp, spikes in it. Spikes. Think about that. Wrong side...

Hot girl.

At least that's the first thing that comes up when you google hot girl. She's a hot girl. I'm okay with it.

The Weekend Is Upon Us...

...and not a moment too soon.

I don't think the Tenessee Titans are an actual football team, and I don't care if it makes me sound like a racist or not, Vince Young is not good at throwing the ball to people on his team. That is one of the hallmark skills of an NFL quarterback. Of course, the Chargers have a way of making questionable passers into one-hit wonders and mobile (I'm not going to say black, dammit. Steve young and Mark Brunell were mobile once, and they were two of the whitest people to play football. You know who do make horrible QBs, though? Pakistanians(?) Pakistanii(?) Pakistanis(?) Whatever. Name one.) QBs can give us fits. And I mean good mobile QBs, not Aaron Brooks, who only ever gave his own team fits, although it should be noted that the Saints once missed an opportunity to go to overtime in a game that could have sent them to the playoffs, but poor John Carney missed an extra point at the end of the game. Fuck, that has to suck. Anyway, the point is, who knows what's going to happen in this Bolts-Titans clash? Oh wait. Me.
Bolts 30, Titans 13

I want to pick the Steelers to win against the suddenly tired-looking and sort of figured-out Patriots, but the freaking game is in Foxboro and let's look at some of the Juggernauts the Steelers have fallen to on the road this year.

1) The Cards; Motto: "Not as good as advertised."

B) The Broncos; Motto: "We have no idea why anybody expected us to be good in the first place."

III) The Jets; Motto: "No motto, we're budget."

That, coupled with Polamalu(?) probably being out leads me to believe that the Pats finish undefeated in the reg, folks.
Pats 34, Steelers 24

And as for the game you are all dying to see-at least as far as the local CBS affiliate would like to believe-the Broncos and the Chiefs battle it out to decide once and for all who will be a little less terrible than the other. Who fucking cares, really, I'll be at the bar watching that snoozer in Foxboro.
Chiefs 12, Broncos 10

I don't really care about the other games, and in fact I don't care much about the ones I already predicted, but if you must know...Colts and Cowgirls cover, and everybody else probably pushes because Vegas is ridiculous. Peace out, and happy Harmonica!!! Go Bolts!!!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Sean Taylor Memorial Bowl-Take 2.

Here's my take on tonight's NFL Network game no one gets to watch, because I guess I should post some damn thing today.

Tonight’s game is a sad one for a number of reasons.

First and most importantly, it’s sad because the Washington Redskins are forced to play a game three days after the funeral of a beloved teammate; not to mention a big-time playmaker. Thanks to the NFL network for that one, I’m sure. Secondly, the Washington Redskins were unable to “win one for Sean” against an incredibly mediocre Bills team last week, and I just don’t know that they have it in them to make this their “in his honor” game either. In fact, they may not be able to properly memorialize him on the field until next season, because C) Joe Gibbs is slipping nicely into a doddering cocoon of feeblousity (totally a word in my mind anyway) and it is always sad when that happens. Seriously, I’m not sure why since I don’t get paid for anything even remotely football related, but even I’ve known you can’t call 2 timeouts in a row there since before Joe won his first Super Bowl. Lastly, and possibly most depressing of all is that both of these teams, at 5-7, believe that they are actually playing for their postseason lives. Of course, this is the NFC, so who fucking knows? Gotta go with the Bears here, because the Skins are missing one bad-ass mofo.
Bears 24, Skins 20

That was kind of depressing. Here's a hot girl-who has a name but I've never heard of her so I'm not telling you what it is-to make it up to you.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007


Not likely. By my estimate, if defensive cordinators had any guts at all, the Patriots would be 9-3. Good, but not the Juggernaut ESPN would have you believe. For weeks I've been shouting it from the mountain that the way to beat the Pats is to sell out on the pass rush. The Colts, Eggles and Ravens did that in their close matches with the Pats for approximately three and a half quarters each. Then, for some in-fucking-conceivable reason, they squandered slim late leads by dropping back into coverage and rushing only three or four men at Tom Brady. Are you people fucking mental? You can't cover all of their weapons!!! You can't even identify all of their weapons!!! You have to cut off the head, God damn it!!! At some point, somebody is going to figure this out. Will it be the Steelers next week? I doubt it. The sad fact is, defensive coordinators and head coaches like to be able to say they did the right thing at the end of the day. The Patriots were in passing situations and the Colts, Eggles and Ravens dropped into coverage. On paper, correct, I guess. Safe? Semmingly. In reality, some of the most pussy-ass bullshit I've ever seen.

As for the Bolts, four things:

1) When TBE gets off, we all get off.

2) Jared Allen notwithstanding, the Chiefs are a ghost of their former selves, while we appear to have at least shaken SOME of our early season ghosts (Welcome back, pass rush).

3) Philip made ONE pass that should keep the critics off his back for a week, but there is still a LOT of work to be done.

4) The win's sweet, but somebody is going to have to explain to me why Gates is so frequently disappearing this season. Don't we actualy have more weapons than last year?

Well, bring on the Titans. Go Bolts!!!

P.S. Here's some more Carl from Adult Swim: