The above was the first thing to come up when I typed "my awesome picks 2" into google image search. Yahoo is obviously cooler than google.
Here we go again, although I can’t imagine why. If you were paying attention last week, I went 4-10 against the spread. I didn’t include the spread in my post, but believe me that’s an accurate score. Overall on the season that makes me a sickeningly unworthy 19-27. Hmm, that would explain why the guys in my office pool are willing to extend me credit this week (I have the money, but I misplaced my check card(Okay, I left it in a bar in Coronado and I have no intention of going out there to get it. Leave me alone!)). Being the glutton for punishment I am, I ain’t skerred to give it another shot. No theme, just rambling, and I save the best for last. Let’s rock!
AZ at ATL
Hmm. Atlanta has no actual QB, but employ up to five running backs at any time. Arizona has a QB who can’t hold onto the ball and is obviously trying to be benched via the big turnover.
Falcons 24, Cards 13
New Orleans at Carolina
Oh, Jesus, what’s the point? This one is going to bite me in the ass all year long. Believe it. But, hey, New Orleans is living a miracle right now and I’m just happy to do my part.
Panthers 34, New Orleans 24
Minnesota at Buffalo
Oh God, talk about a dog. I want to call a 0-0 tie, but I’m gutless. Besides, both these teams can kick field goals and/or score on defense.
Bills 9, Vikes 7
Miami at Houston
Everybody’s calling this and I’m hopping on the bandwagon, because Miami can’t score. Even in Houston.
Texans 20, Miami 17
Dallas at Tennessee
Tennessee can’t win this game, but with all the distraction in Dallas this week I can’t see them giving 9 to the Titans. With or without the drama queen.
Cowboys 21, Titans 14
San Fran at KC
Both teams are somewhat decimated so I’ll give it the home team. Even though I don’t wanna. KC needs this win, and I think Johnson goes nuts here. Effing Arrowhead.
Chiefs 34, 49ers 17
Indy at New York Jets
The Jets aren’t as bad as people thought they’d be. Good enough to beat the spread at least.
Colts 31, Jets 24
Detroit at St. Louis
Get your head out of your ass, Bulger!
Rams 27, Lions 10
Jacksonville at Washington
I hate Jacksonville. I don’t believe in Byron Leftwich as a viable NFL QB. They are going to make me eat shit all year.
Redskins 20, Jags 14
New England at Cincinnati
Cincinnati really didn’t look like they were so hot last week. More like Pitt was giving it away a bit. Palmer is too hot right now and Julie De Rossi’s knee ligaments are going to hold up for the long haul. For New England,Tom Brady usually wins or loses by three points, so they should beat the spread here.
Bengals 24, Patriots 21
Cleveland at Oakland
Oakland is the worst team in football. Anywhere. At home, on the road. In space or at the Earth’s core. Doesn’t matter.
Cleveland 17, Oakland 7 (Yay! First TD. Losers)
Seattle at Chicago
I should know better than to bet against this year’s Superbowl champs (Last year’s too. God Damn officials!), but they’ve got to lose one, don’t they. Feel free to pop those corks ’72 Dolphins, if the Hawks can’t go undefeated, no one can!
Bears 27, Hawks 21
Green Bay at Philly Monday night
Don’t expect an Eli Manning-like 4th quarter out of Favre against Philly. In fact, expect them all to look bad.
Eagles 28, Packers 10
San Diego at Baltimore
Baltimore finally has to go up against team that has actually won a game this year. The mighty Bolts have an offense and a defense. Baltimore? Well, they have a defense. Ray Lewis has shocked the world and revealed that his unit will be focused on The Best Ever to try and make Rivers beat them. I think the youngster is up to the challenge.
Bolts 17, Ravens 10
Smoke all that, bitches! Go Bolts!!!