Thursday, April 28, 2005

We're The Best In The League At Some Stuff.

You know its bad. I mean, I'm Brother Holy Gatling Gun of Patience over here, and I don't think I can take it anymore. In case you didn't fire open the UT this morning let me fill you in. Aside from the fact that the fifth spot in our rotation hasn't won a game in nearly a year (take that, dead horse!), the Padres lead the league in errors (18), unearned runs (15), the worst fielding percentage (.978).

I really wish I hadn't put a moratorium on one of those two words the other day, but I did, and so I thought I would honor it by checking my thesaurus for other options. Unfortunately the thesaurus is pretty literal, and that particular word, used in the sense that most people use it when describing the Padres, is a slang term. So instead of great adjectives (verbs? Who knows? Nobody. Grammar is a mystery to man.) like blow, stink, or flat out disgust me, I got returns like consume and inhale. Whatever.

At this point I say we throw out a pitching machine and nine gloves on a stick every fifth day and work on our batting. Go Pa- Oh screw it!!!

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