Friday, October 30, 2009

Acee Continues To Insult Us.

Sunday's game on local TV

By Kevin Acee
October 30, 2009, 1:15 p.m.

The semi-weekly game that we began playing last year -- wait for the blackout to be lifted -- has come and gone again.

The Chargers sold enough tickets to avert a blackout of Sunday's game.

It will be shown locally on Channel 8 and in the Los Angeles area on Channel 2.

Since there are about 2,000 tickets left for the Philadelphia game and even more for Kansas City, Cincinnati and Washington, this will likely happen every week.

The Chargers have "sold out" 43 straight regular-season home games.



Blackout lifted and Acee throws the quotes around [sold out] presumably as a jab at the fans for not buying up all the tickets sooner and the likelihood that the local TV affiliate snatched up the last of the tickets. What the heck does Acee care how the games end up "sold out?" It's the players! It's the fans! It's certainly not the ownership, coaching or management. This guy is on the payroll in some way, shape or form. Or he's looking for a network gig. Or both. Broken record, this cocksucker. Go Bolts!!!

South Park Rules.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Over/Under

On crying women in Green Bay Favre jerseys when Brittfar goes back to Lambeau on Sunday: 6

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Learning To Fly?

What can I say? I'm down with the cheesy headlines during a cheesy season.

That red zone offense is still attrocious. I hate seeing LT get stuffed on so many shots within the 5. I know that the offensive philosophy there is to show the world that he's still got it, but I'm afraid the message may have been lost. And you can certainly put some of that on the O-line and you can say the other team knew what was coming, but you can't tell me the old LT wouldn't have found a way. The whole thing makes me feel like I'm in a loveless marriage with Nate Kaeding. I can't stand to even look at his face anymore.

But the good news is, we pretty easily handled a team we should have pretty easily handled. That's the first step. Let's do it to Oakland now and really get our chi going before we hit a tough stretch in the middle. I still like our chances. Go Bolts!!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

So, Here's The Thing.

I actually think we're going to be fine. I mean, we're probably not going to win the division, but it's not like there are two teams out there that have stood out as wildcards. We're half a game out of that race, with KC and Oakland coming up. And the real bottom line here is that we looked pretty good in the first half for the first time all year. That coupled with the fact that we know we can be good in the second half should give us all a little hope. I seriously doubt we'll be giving up 14 special teams points a week. That was the first time this season I can recall having ANY real special teams problems, so let's just call that an aberration for now.

There are problems, of course. We desperately need to do a better job of protecting the QB; Rivers has been harassed all year. And the red zone offense is horseshit. I've seen enough Nate Kaeding inside the 20 to last a lifetime at this point. And I really can't condone calling off the dogs in the second half. The defense took a very passive approach towards the end of the game, and that's on the coaches again. If you're going to get burned anyway, you might as well get burned while taking it to the other team a bit. That's been the D's problem for the last two and half years; They play it too safe most of the time.

The good news is, Tomlinson looked productive. Not great, but productive. And hungry. Our receivers are still some of the best around; I honestly believe that. The secondary was not terribly embarassing (though I still question the wisdom of running out such a young safety tandem, and I worry that Eric Weddle is Khalil Greene with an attitude). We know our QB is a gamer, and if I hear anybody crying over Drew Brees I will punch your ass. If the D ever takes the gloves off for real, we have the dogs to run...theoretically. And aside from last night's freaky outcome, our special teamers tend to hold up nicely. Let's not forget our true MVP, Mike Scifres.

There's a lot of season left an in the aftermath of last night's emotional loss and it's easy to lose what little faith we had left, but I think that when the dust from that game settles in your mind, you might actually see some of the promise I see that wasn't there before. I still hate Norv Turner, AJ Smith and Ron Rivera, and a part of me believes the team would be better off collapsing at this point and getting them run out on a rail, but I can't really root against the blue and gold. I still think there is some hope here. I still think there is a fight to be fought. Go Bolts.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Oh Aspirations...


I wish I could say that this post has all kinds of thought and thoroughly researched analysis behind the words with which it is composed. There is none. What this is amounts to pure emotional, reactionary and probably poorly executed grammar.

So what happened you ask? You were either there or you watched. You watched yet another mark tallied in the loss column for this squad. However, this one, albeit the same result with some tendencies that could be described as typical was in fact different. This one had the feeling of a team that was completely outmatched and the result was one that should have been expected.

One can point to the fact that we were in the game, dare I say even dominating the first half, should one ignore the fact that the special teams completely blew all semblance of assignments much like a Tijuana hooker during fleet week. One can also completely ignore the fact that our red zone woes continued with the continuing insistence of Norv to shock the world by running Darren Sproles up the middle on third down from inside the five yard line. An obviously perturbed LTD stomped away from the crowd on the sideline disgruntled to some degree, and while he did so, all I could think was, perhaps if you weren't injured all the time, and consistently taking yourself out of the game, those carries, or opportunities might be yours. I was then disappointed in myself for chastising the best running back our franchise has ever known. It is most certainly not his fault.

Despite the poor play of the special teams, yeah, the ones that gave up a 70+ yard punt return and a 90+ yard kickoff return (unfortunately predicted by yours truly, my bad) there was one constant that completely irked me to no end. It wasn't the three man rush that consistently allowed Kyle Orton to dismantle our obviously flawed defense, but the ever present lack of urgency or confidence in the play calling. The offensive management is a complete disaster. It appears that there is a game plan, from which the coordinator deviates rarely, that is pure scripted nonsense. The "plan" (very recklessly throwing that word around) is unsound, and ineffective. Good coordinators, hell, serviceable coordinators make adjustments during the course of the game in order to capitalize on the tendencies of the defense. Our coordinator's system, banging his head against the wall until a hole through it is punched. Unfortunately, rarely does that hole materialize, and all we are left with is a giant headache. Sorry to say that the only consistencies by this squad are of the negative variety.

I'm not pinning this loss wholly on the coaches. Yes, they are still fuckwits who make the same mistakes weekly, that opposing teams pinpoint on tape and then exploit on our faces all over national television. Nope, I also realized that our personnel is significantly suspect. The player talent is not there. This "deep" team, this team that has been repeatedly defined as having the "most talent" is a total fucking lie. Adjustments and scheming be damned. Sometimes bad football is played by sub fucking par players. Save your injury talk, this team was billed as deep. Save your poor scheming talk, this team is both mentally and physically deficient.

This used to be fun. Watching and writing about this team used to be a joy. Even in the less than stellar times, there were always a few bad puns or unfunny rape jokes to bring the smile to the faces. Now it's about game recaps of a badly coached team playing badly executed games. Many will tell you this team is underachieving, which is like saying Jesus' lawyer underachieved.

Can the squad pull yet another year long miracle from their bowels? I would think not. The division we won in August is all but lost, so we are left with what will be a significant challenge for the wild card playoff entry, an entry that we have already dropped tiebreaker games to two other participants. So, buckle up optimists, it's going to be a bastard fuck all ride for the next eleven games.

MNFF!!!

Monday Night Fucking Football, bitches! If you've seen me lately, you've seen a lot of doom and gloom, but it's time to put it away and focus at the game at hand. Here are four things I want to see tonight.

1) Manumaleuna lined up at fullback. It's time to give the O-line some help blowing open some lanes for this running game. I know our idiot coach loves to run as many receivers as he has out there on every play, but it's time to balance out this offense and get it going early; You know, before everybody drops back into prevent and allows us to pad the stats in a valiant comeback that falls short.

2) Blitzes. Run blitzes, zone blitzes whatever. Let's get to the QB before he gets a chance to exploit our secondary. We're out there with one less veteran in the secondary, for better or for worse, let's give those guys some help. I'm looking at you, Ron Rivera!!!

3) A little bit of good ole fashioned trickery. When was the last time we ran a halfback option? Why did we stop doing that? If we establish any kind of run whatsoever, I want a God damn flea flicker! BTW, I will take cash bets that we go deep on the first play from scrimmage. That's as crazy as it gets with Norv.

4) Boobs. I would like to see some boobs. Pretty much all the time boobs are a good idea.

This game is the season, do not fool yourself! Let's get this thing done! Go Bolts!!!

Update: Let em add one more thing that I forgot to the list of things I want to see tonight:

5) Fineable hits! Let's tear some fucking heads off early and make 'em think about it!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Wait, What?

I've long since been a critic of one local beat writer, the Mr. Nick Canepa. Today is probably the most egregious display of his excuse pandering on behalf of the inappropriately moniker-ed "Godfather". As much as I hate to do it, and really, I'm truly fucking beginning to hate having to break this shit down repeatedly to prove how silly these people are, this is fucking atrocious. I'll pull the most obvious fucking fabrications for your perusal...

First, as always, the title...

Chargers' real problems aren't Norv or A.J.

Ah, yes. Nick must have gotten his weekly dressing down from the Godfather sometime late Monday afternoon. And off we go...

The Chargers, now expected by torch-toting angry villagers to be the Packers of the '60s, the Steelers of the '70s, the 49ers of the '80s, the Cowboys of the '90s and the Patriots of the 2000s, are sitting in a pot of water in this town, and it isn't lukewarm. Some anger is justified, but most of it is founded on emotion and the hatchet-thinking that every defeat calls for a Spanish Inquisition.

This is the same man that wrote earlier this season that he was not afraid to declare the Chargers his Super Bowl favorite this season. Conveniently, his archives are not the easiest to navigate to pull that gem for your enjoyment. Believe me it exists, when I find it, you will all be notified via skywriting. Far be it from the fans to believe and want what has been repeatedly been reported about this team, by you Mr. Canepa. Now we're torch toting angry villagers demanding Super Bowls and cures for cancer.

The coach

Norv Turner could go unbeaten, win the Super Bowl, pull people out of burning buildings and find a cure for cancer and the villagers still would drag out the guillotine. I wonder if he can win here – even if he wins. Like Marty Schottenheimer, Norv may not be popular until fans can't stand his replacement.

Hi, rhetoric? Meet hyperbole. I like to think that is was public outcry that gave A.J., excuse me, The Godfather, the shelter from the storm he needed to fire a largely successful coach with which he had very public feuds. What A.J. wanted and what Marty certainly was not, was a captain for his custom built Super Bowl ship that Marty continually slammed into the rocks like a drunken sailor. A.J., installing his puppet yes man fully expected that nothing would change. Low and behold, Norv's well deserved reputation for being a football fucking monkey team destructor has fully been realized. A self fulfilling prophecy if you will when your record as a head coach is fucking awful and continues to be so.

Turner isn't perfect, but look around. Most of Norv's contemporaries better be able to swim if they plan to walk on water. He's 2-2, folks. It's October. I got an email the other day saying Bill Callahan should be the next Chargers coach. Sigh. That's what I'm up against.

I love the ability of this guy to gloss over the two and two record as if it's no big deal. It's October! Pay no mind that the undefeated division leader is coming to town at 5-0. The email quote is quite precious to me. Nick, I get tons of fucking stupid emails every day. The difference is, I don't use them to support and invalid point when they are fucking inexplicably fucking stupid. Moving on...

But, remember what it was like before he took over. I know it isn't easy, but don't write me saying the late John Butler built this team. It's Smith's club, almost 100 percent. His players have won three straight division titles, four of the last five. So he's a tough guy. So he has an ego. You can't be good at what you do if you think you stink.

I wonder what kind of knee pads Nick uses when he drops to his knees each Monday afternoon for The Godfather's daily fellating. You're right, this is Smith's club, he needs to take some fucking responsibility for this shitshow. Three straight division titles are grand, particularly when the division was about as competitive as the 3rd grade Hopscotch Championships. Our 2008 Division Title came courtesy of Denver's historic choke job. Seeing how most of these writers up to and including you Mr. Canepa, not only had us penciled in for the division but the Super Bowl, you can fuck yourself if you think I'm buying this A.J. apologist thing you are working on here.

It's not the coaches fault they can't run the ball? Ummm, yeah, to some degree it fucking is. When you've run the ball through four games for 215 yards and 12 first downs you've got a fucking philosophy problem. When you run the ball off tackle on first down for the entirety of the first half of each game, you don't fool anyone. When you choose to run it up the middle off tackle on fourth down in a game winning situation against Baltimore and you fail, it's certainly on the fucking coaches. When the murderer from said Baltimore team posing as a linebacker vocalizes that they saw that play all game and on fucking tape in the week leading up to the game, you've got a fucking coaching problem. When you run the ball for fucking 16 yards against the Steelers, you've got a fucking coaching problem. I say that all adds up to some fucking coaching issues Nick. Coaching issues that can't be ignored. Don't be so fucking myopic.

Sweet fucking Christ, I thought that would make me feel better. But I assure you it did not. Just remember how the media, namely the Nick Canepa's and the A.J. Smith's of the world view the fans of this squad. It's all right there in the article. We are hayseed fuckwits in their eyes and have no business criticizing the masterpiece that has been assembled here. So shut your fucking mouths you football ignorant asshole and worship at the altar of what is football in San Diego.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Bad News, Ladies!

Allow me to paraphrase Colin Cowherd on the radio this morning: If you don't think coaching matters in the NFL take a look at the Chargers of San Diego and take a look at the Broncos of Denver. Now, Cowherd is a nearly insufferable blowhard, but I think we can all agree that he hit the nail on the head there.

Denver won. Against the Patriots. Who may not be as good as they've been recently, but are still pretty good. Now Denver is 5-0, and I hate to say it, but they have a solid shot at 6-0. I guess the San Diego Padres Management Model of being the least terrible team in a division of God awful teams might not work for the Chargers this year. But hey, look at the way the Pads adapted when it stopped working for them. Oh, right. Abandon ship! No one will blame you, honest. I'm ordering my Vikings Favre jersey as we speak.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Friday, October 09, 2009

Something.

I don't really have anything to say. I'm still pretty mad in regards to the Chargers. It's the bye, so it will be difficult for them to further anger me (knocks on wood furiously until knuckles bleed). Anyway, if you want to read something, go check out Acee's in depth article about the 10 minute players only meeting the Chargers had before their three day weekend. 10 minutes? That should do it. Stupid football team.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

YOU'RE FUCKING FIRED!!!

Kevin Acee, largely of the A.J. Smith fellatio contingency has done it again. Today's article is an awesome display of what a short leash the Godfather keeps his ball gag wearing gimps at the end of. In what is a solid display of taking that hard line stance and softening the public outcry against said Godfather, Mr. Acee's skills are on display.

A couple of passages for your review, first, the title of said article:

Defense on notice: Jobs are on the line
Coordinator Ron Rivera challenges his squad after ragged performance in Pittsburgh


Then, the first passage:

"Whether Chargers defensive coordinator Ron Rivera explicitly said so or not, there is a feeling within the defense that jobs are up for grabs."

You hear me? JOBS are on the line! JOBS I tell you! I totally just made that jobs are on the line thing up! Of course, you know, they're not. Just maybe jobs are on the line. I'm not saying they are but they might be so go sleep on that you lazy defenders!

Then Kevin tries to slip this one past me:

"Chargers General Manager A.J. Smith would not comment Wednesday, but he is spending time on the phone with other general managers. Smith has a history of adding high-profile help where his team needs it at the deadline."

Really? He has that reputation and history? What high profile help have we added at the trade deadline? Max, can you help me here? I thought our whole model was based on mimicking Lord Belichick's low profile, inexpensive easy to replace team player mold. Not bringing in the high profile me first type difference maker. Color me confused.

And, as I sit here, ESPN is reporting that we are now exploring dealing Merriman as he only has one year left on his deal and he is a terrible malcontent and an obviously declining player. Fuck me running with awesome.

When interviewed at the bank yesterday in line to cash his paycheck Shaun Phillips had this to say:

“Each of us has to worry about ourselves, We can't worry about the next man.”

Shaun, stop endorsing that check for a moment and have a listen. If you perhaps didn't worry about the next man, but actually communicated with that man next to you on the field, perhaps you all wouldn't be running around stepping on your dicks while Pittsburgh running backs dominate your face. Just a thought...geez, you'd think this guy would get it figured out at some point. But hey, he's not a declining player yet so his job is totally secure. Unless Kevin Acee implies via made up quotes that Ron Rivera sent him that message via mental telepathy that it might be in jeopardy without actually saying it.

Thanks Mr. Bye Week for allowing us to continue the suck for two prolonged weeks. And by thanks I mean fuck you... I can't wait to be a Vikings fan.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

You Know It's Bad...

...when Little Nicky Canepa has me nodding my head in vigorous agreement. Here's Canepa's first "quarterly" report on the Chargers and even AJ isn't making excuses. In fact, you know AJ's pissed because he let Nicky go to print with this. That's some real fire and brimstone shit, and he even called out Ron Rivera's sissy ass defensive playcalling, which I love Love LOVE! That guy got way too much credit for simply yelling at his players Sunday night. How about an adjustment or two to go along with all that machismo, Ron? I'm starting to think the Defensive Coordinator's office is haunted by the Ghosts of Failures Past.

"Why Johnny Ringo, you look like someone just walked over your grave."

Seriously, has any fanbase ever before been heard to say, "We've got to figure out a way to get Wade Phillips back in here."?

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

This Guy Says It All...

...and more. Get out of my brain, Officer Parkman from the stupidest show on TV! This Jay Paris character obviously does not work for the UT, and I will be following his work going forward.

Monday, October 05, 2009

I Don't Really Have Anything To Say...

...but this guy says it all. It'll be interesting to see what the super fans at my work have to say. Maybe if it's good I'll post some of it. I didn't watch the second half last night so I didn't see the "spirited comeback" we attempted, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that Gates got me 24 fantasy points and gave me a pretty good shot at winning my game this week. So...I got that going for me.

Thursday, October 01, 2009