Monday, April 30, 2007

Kome On, Kouzy!

Now I'm not particularly happy with the slow ascent of Kevin Kouzmonaff, but it's a little ricockulous that the UT pretty much blamed our 17 inning loss yesterday on him striking out for the last out of the game. If that was a good reason to send a guy up to Portland, Brian Giles should have been run out of baseball by now. I'm less concerned about the youngster than I am about Mike Cameron's complete offensive and defensive breakdown. Is this the second coming of Chuck Knoblach? I could forgive either shitty batting or shitty fielding, but never should the two meet. This guy should be the second best bat in our line-up, but at this point, while it's still early on in the season, I have to wonder if he'll get it back or if something has just snapped.

Feels Like Nothing Happened.

So, I guess I should say something, but I just don’t know what to say. What the hell is a Craig Davis? Well, giving AJ Smith the benefit of the doubt here, I’ll just go ahead and assume Davis is the best receiver nobody else was smart enough to take a look at. I guess Eric Parker won’t be catching punts next season, and I gotta tell you, I’m okay with it. Weddle is a different story in that I’ve actually heard of him which means people have actually been talking about him. If he walks in and immediately takes over at Strong Safety like people say he will, then I have no problem giving up 4 picks to get him. I’m hearing Troy Polomalu type ball-hawking and we could definitely use some of that. Of course, we could have just gone ahead and drafted Polomalu a couple years ago instead of Sammy Davis, but why rehash that old gem? I don’t really care about the rest of the draft. We got a LB, which is a bigger need than I think most people realize, and the rest of it was standard depth stuff so big whoop.

Now, about this Randy Moss bullshit. I predict he may have his best football seasons in front of him. He will be rejuvenated by Tom Brady and a balanced New England offense. That scares me. The Patriots barely handled the Bolts in the play-offs last year, and really had no business being there, but this year’s team could be a powerhouse again. They’ve made so many key pick-ups already and we’ve got basically the same team as last year, minus three starting defenders . It will be interesting to see what we do during the next round of free agency. I have a feeling we stand pat and that concerns me. Are we still the best team on paper? I believe so, but the competition is closing in, and we still haven’t translated all of that paper talent into diddly squat. I’ll give AJ the benefit of the doubt here as well, cause as much as the guys bravado turns me off, I have to admit he’s been right a lot more than he’s been wrong. But then, a certain other Genius GM of ours started out making a lot of good moves, before buying into his own greatness and destroying the Chargers for year with extreme draft day gambles and questionable personnel decisions. I don’t want to live through that again. Aaron Hayden? Brian Still? One shudders to think of it.

Look out, hot girl!!!

I'll always love me some Buffy. Go Bolts!!!

Friday, April 27, 2007

Understanding The NFL's New Code Of Conduct.

Thank you, The Onion.

The Draft Cometh.

Here we are a day before the NFL Draft and I suppose I totally care because the TV says I should and the Chargers’ BA GM AJ is a draft wizard of no less than 10 whole Dungeons and Dragons levels. I don’t have my PHB handy, so I don’t know what the correct title for a level 10 wizard is, but I can tell you that AJ’s Lightning Bolt does 10D6 damage and that ain’t bad.

But I digress. I suppose since we here at Super Chargers claim to pretend to be some doting football ya-yas it would be irresponsible not to levy some thoughts on The Draft “action” to come. I capitalize The Draft because, like I said before, my TV likens it to Jesus or something.

I’d like to start with the Raiders because, like our BA GM AJ, I believe myself to be a genius. I could totally fix that team. First you trade Randy Moss to Green Bay, who are ready to do just about anything to let Favre Bean go out in a quasi-blaze-a brushfire, if you will-of glory. I don’t care what you actually get for Moss, just get rid of him because he will never be able to handle the addition of Calvin Johnson. That’s right, fuck Jamarcus “Where the fuck did you come from” Russell. That guy has got Akili Smith, Jim Druckenmiller and Ryan Leaf type draft bust written all over him. Johnson probably won’t be as good as they make him out to be, but he only has to be half that good to be great. My TV tells me he might be Jesus too, which is starting to make me wonder why my TV’s all up in my face pushing Christianity and such, but whatever, I love it anyway. Back to the Raiders. Go future QB in the second round and use the rest of your picks on the O-line, with maybe a TE or a RB in there somewhere (I only know the names of, like the first ten guys that will be drafted cause I don’t get paid to do actual research, and fuck Rock 105.3 for making me endure back to back interviews with AJ and Peter King yesterday. And no, I couldn’t turn off the radio because I don’t have hands. Feel pretty big now, don’t you?). Lastly, deal something- ooh, maybe whatever you got from Green Bay- to Tampa for Jake Plummer. I bet he’d come out of retirement just to piss off Shanahan. Voila, 6-10 season. That’s good for the Raiders right?

Now the real deal. The Bolts. I see one of the four following scenarios- but really only the first two- happening.

1) Trade Turner to Tennesee for their #19 and probably nothing else. Hope Dwayne Bowe drops to 19, take the best S or LB sitting at #30. Probably Griffin or Poluszny?(Polish names, whatever.).

2) Don’t trade Turner because Tennessee won’t give us enough and AJ LOVES his supplemental picks (He’ll get a 3rd or 4th rounder after Turner leaves next year) and pick the best S or LB on the board (see above). The more I hear about how everyone says the Bolts need a safety or a WR in The Draft, the more I’m sure that AJ will take a LB. Motherfuckin’ John Wayne y’all!

Love that picture. So. Bad. Ass.

3) Trade Turner to Tennessee, package everything, trade it all to Detroit for Calvin Johnson.

4) Trade Turner and whatever else it takes straight to Detroit, cutting out the middle man, for Calvin Johnson.

Now, I realize that those last two are extreeeemely unlikely, but I want you to consider one VERY BIG factor. AJ’s ego. AJ’s has built a lot of goodwill through a series of outstanding draft classes. At this point he’s earned himself a mulligan if he does something seemingly crazy like giving up a lot for one guy. But the Chargers aren’t incredibly needy for new talent. The couple of needs they have could probably be well addressed after the first couple of rounds. But why would AJ take such a chance when it seems to go directly against what his previous draft philosophy has been? Because of LaDainian Tomlinson, The Best Ever. I’ve often documented my theory that AJ resents the fact that he did not draft the most outstanding cog in his offense and quite probably the best player in the game today. Sure, you could argue that Antonio Gates is a huge part of our machine, but AJ didn’t actually draft him either. Phillip Rivers looks good, and in my opinion will be exceptional, but it will take a lot to convince people he’s really any better than the guy he replaced in Drew Brees. If AJ gets Johnson, and Johnson really is Jesus like my fucking seriously overly zealous religious freak television believes him to be, AJ can finally say that he’s the reason we put up a zillion points every Sunday and that yours truly, Maximum Colossus, and others like me can get behind Canepa and wait for our turns to suck it! And I’m not a homo or anything, but I’d totally do it, cause I think it’s be fun to have a bad-ass stud receiver on our team like in the old Coryell days. So, AJ, do it. No, really, do it. Hot girls all around!

What can I say? I'm kind of having a butt day. Enjoy The Draft. Go Bolts!!!

Update: Okay, this is actually the most likely scenario, and I didn't put it here because I don't like it that much. AJ trades Turner to Tennessee. We swap first rounders and take Bowe or Ginn if he falls to #19. In this case we'd probably get a 3rd or 4th round deal as well and AJ really loves his middle round picks. That's where his genius shines, you know?

Also, don't be surprised if he packages that Tennessee pick and some others to move up 8 spots or so from #19 to pick up Landry. There, have I covered every possible angle yet? Christ, we'll probably take a Long-snapper cause David Binn is getting on in years. Sheesh, I'm not even going to watch The Fucking Draft. It gives me a headache.

Thursday, April 26, 2007


And the moral of the story is this, kiddies:

If your name is Jake Peavy, do not put up 16 Ks in a game. That's a losing recipe. Walk-off HR from Stephen Drew? Come on! It's becoming a disturbing trend that as the Dodgers go, so go the Padres. Let's show a little dominance here.

The good news is that the sporting world intends to let us fly under the radar all season. Seriously, show me one thing that's been written about the Padres anywhere besides a game recap. Good luck. Please be sure, though, to send me anything you find about the Yankees-Red Sox rivalries, the Cubs neverending woes, or the resurgence of the Dodgers. Seriously, I can never find a thing. At least forward me Barry Bonds' HR totals. Can't fucking find it anywhere!

Oh well, we'll see the darling Dodgers tomorrow. Let's finish off the Garter Snakes and go due some Dew in the Ravine. Go Pads!!!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Inability to Write Coherently Tragically Infects UT Writing Staff

This gem of a transcript from a Kevin Acee chat really ground my gears to a halt this morning. It's almost as if the UT is gone out and hired self serving Bolt fellating operatives in an attempt to rinse the disaster from the ranks of the Spanos Klan. It's rather infuriating.

Some 'What the Fuck?' excerpts:

"SouthPaw(Q) What is your personal opinion of Brandon Meriweather and do you think AJ Smith has any interest in him? I have him rated higher than Reggie Nelson.

Kevin Acee(A) i think most would have him rated higher than nelson if it weren't for off-the-field stuff. i don't think AJ goes there -- but a lot of times AJ takes a flier on character or injuries(Merriman, Cromartie) and it works out."

Uh, Merriman was busted however unfairly for steroids last season. Casting an enormous shadow of doubt over our 'character' combined with the multiple arrests by other personnel. Quite frankly, doesn't seem like A.J. really cares about character, let's not pretend he does okay Kevin.

Bolt_Power23(Q) The are some veterens still out there in free agency. Any chance the chargers bring in Eric Moulds or Al Wilson?

Kevin Acee(A) there is a reason those guys are still out there.

And that reason is what Kev? Insight, that's why I subscribe to the free internet feed.

Vegas_Bolt_Fan(Q) Asses the receivers. I think Jackson, Floyd, & Parker can get the job done. Will A.J. draft a WR?

Kevin Acee(A) They can get the job done -- they did in the second half of '06. also, remember that Antonio Gates is on this team. but they will draft a receiver in one of the first two rounds.

kelceyagraves(Q) i hope we throw 2 lt more this yr

Kevin Acee(A) throw to him more? how? are there going to be five quarters in games now?

Uh, no, there's not five quarters in games. And I think the answer is, "Throw to him more." Perhaps more touches in the second half of the New England playoff game? Any more of this and I'm going to fire this guy myself.

It's prediction time! Ludicrous prediction time!

MadForPlaid(Q) Kevin, give us your prediction on the Chargers' record (including playoffs if you believe we will make them again)!

Kevin Acee(A) 11-5


kelceyagraves(Q) vegas has tha chargers at 5 ta 1 odds ta win tha superbowl----what do u think r tha chargers odds?

Kevin Acee(A) i'd never give 5 to 1 on a SB win. but 10 to 1. OK.


czar(Q) care to predict how far we go in the playoffs?

Kevin Acee(A) too many variables. but i won't wuss out. super bowl. loss to cowboys.

Loss to the Cowgirls in the Super Bowl? Didn't he just say he'd take 10:1 on the Bolts, even though they're 5:1? Currently the Cowgirls are 15:1. He's a gambler that Kevin.

fred(Q) How the hell did we lose that playoff game against New England? What do you think is the number one reason?

Kevin Acee(A) the more i think about it: marty.

Mr. Acee, Mr. Smith and Spanos thank you for your work. Your bonus check is upstairs in their office, you are free to pick it up at any time. Please continue the fine work and don't forget your kneepads as Mr. Spanos' man part has been largely ignored by your staff of late. Thanks for your dedicated service.

Read the whole thing, there is loads of insight like, "That's what people I really respect told me." And all kinds of speculative work that is just genius.

Thanks for the laughs UT. You make this unpaid work fun.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Die, You Fucking Dead Horse! Die!

I just can’t beat it enough, people. Especially since Mr. Nick Canepa is going out of his way and working overtime to try to make head spin off it’s axis and fly off into deep space all Darth Vaderlike. First he hits me with another AJ Smith as John Wayne screenplay on Monday. Just read it, I don’t even have to try and make it sound funny or overtly homosexual.

Then it turns out I wasn’t the only one less than pleased with his jabs at TBE last week. Apparently, a horde of e-mailers and TBE and his people were not please by Canepa’s piece as well. It turns out that TBE was never even confirmed to appear at the Hall of Fame Event Nicky attended. TBE was, however, confirmed to attend another event entirely that evening. Well, our favorite suck-up sets things straight, basically saying-and I’m paraphrasing here-“This is what I said and this is why I said it and I don’t even feel bad for assuming the worst and being a poor journalist and all around shitbag.”

Don’t like being called a jerk, Nick? Stop being one.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Humility Has Arrived...

It's with the utmost humility and admiration that I present to you Mr. Nick Canepa's latest columnular masterpiece to all of our far too undeserving and pathetic souls of San Diego. We are all so touched by the hands of God himself lucky as to be educated with his universally accepted and unflappably competent words and thought processes. God Speed...

Masterpiece in the Tradition of All Who Have Come Before Us

Your fellating words are expected in our lowly comments section so that we may all benefit from the teachings of our esteemed Sensei.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Poetry Corner

Jason Schmidt is our bitch
Jason Schmidt can not pitch

Go Padres!!! Nib High Football rules!!!

Friday, April 13, 2007


So, I sent Mr. Canepa a personal note regarding his distasteful shots at TBE this morning. It read as follows:

In the immortal words of Popeye the Sailor, “That’s all I can stands and I can’t stands no more.” I’ve sat idly by for far too long taking in your AJ Smith publicity machine/lovefest with nary a peep, but I might remind you for all the “amazing” things AJ has accomplished as GM of the Chargers the one thing that truly drives “his” team is LaDainian Tomlinson. A player AJ did not himself draft. You might try to convince yourself that this would be the best team in football with a Michael Turner behind Philip Rivers, but don’t fool yourself. Michael Turner is a fine back, but LaDainian could very well, and in my opinion will, go down as the best to ever play the game. So to see you bash his character and his toughness in your piece today sickens me as a true fan of the San Diego Chargers. You cite no reasons for his absence and unless you’re holding back, you assume the worst. To assume the worst of the best is a poor example of “journalism.” In a piece otherwise decently written regarding the job that Jim Brown did at the event, the jabs at San Diego’s finest athlete and by all accounts one of our best citizens was wildly out of place. Kindly pick your fights elsewhere. I’m sick of it. You’re a jerk.

The glorious literary bastard had this to say in response:


So I'm a jerk. Do you know me? Thanks for your kind words.


Well played, sir.

Fuck You, Nick Canepa.

I don't have the time or the wherewithall to get into this right now, but you don't want to miss this piece. TBE didn't show up for some Hall of Fame Brouhaha that he was advertised to attend and no one knows why apparently. Jim Brown took his place. Canepa was apparently enthralled with Brown's opinions and I'm sure that he was impressive. I've been a huge fan of Brown's myself ever since I saw him selflessly take on several aliens in a fist fight so his friends could fly away to safety. But is it really necessary for cockface to take several shots at TBE's character and toughness? Go find another town to plague with your bullshit, you hack! I'm getting sick of this shit.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Baseball Done Right.

If you missed that game you missed a thing of beauty. This team may not be built for power and runs, but a couple of timely knocks as well as some inspired bunts to move the runners along was more than enough to provide the runs we needed. The pitching was masterful. Maddux threw six innings of some of the nastiest junk I've seen. Right up until Cla Meredith came in and got just a shade nastier. Linebrink and Brocail got outs just like their mamas told them to get a good girl. Just be yourself. All in all, we take the Giants 4-0 to register our third shutout on this young season, not to mention our third straight series win. What a fantastic effort and a sweet win. Now bring on the filthy Dodgers. Go Pads!!!

Not For The Squeamish.

Here's the 2007 schedule:

Sept. 9 – Chicago, 1:15 p.m., Fox
Sept. 16 – at New England, 5:15 p.m., NBC
Sept. 23 – at Green Bay, 10 a.m., CBS
Sept. 30 – Kansas City, 1:15 p.m., CBS
Oct. 7 – at Denver, 1:15, p.m. CBS
Oct. 14 – Oakland, 1:15 p.m., CBS
Oct. 21 – BYE
Oct. 28 – Houston, 1:05 p.m., CBS
Nov. 4 – at Minnesota, 10 a.m., CBS
Nov. 11 – Indianapolis, 5:15 p.m., NBC
Nov. 18 – at Jacksonville, 10 a.m., CBS
Nov. 25 – Baltimore, 1:15 p.m., CBS
Dec. 2 – at Kansas City, 10 a.m., CBS
Dec. 9 – at Tennessee, 10 a.m., CBS
Dec. 16 – Detroit, 1:15 p.m., Fox
Dec. 24 – Denver, 5 p.m., ESPN
Dec. 30 – at Oakland, 1:15 p.m., CBS

I ain't skerred, but that's a vicious 1-2 punch coming out of the gate. Getting Indy and Baltimore at home helps some though, and there are some definite rollovers in there. I say bring it on, bitches. Go Bolts!!!

Update: Wait aminute! Not one Monday Night game!!! That is utter bullshit!

Update my update: Denver on Dec. 24 is a Monday. Christmas Eve, though, hardly counts.

Some Stuff About Some Stuff.

What's up with Khalil Greene's straw hair anyway? Is everything made of straw on that guy? I don't want to get too metro here, but it's called conditioner, man. Give it a shot. Oh, how it must have made my cohort happy to watch the vegan lower his batting average about 80 points in one game at this early point in the season. Way to not be clutch. You're no Spiccoli. Spiccoli was never that tense.

I'm going to be all over the board here for a minute. Unless you're not even slightly into sports (and if you're getting your sports news here, that's not entirely unlikely), you've heard about the Zeusian punishment's NFL Commisioner Rodger Goodell layed down upon perennial fuck-ups PacMan Jones and Chris Henry. Them's some mighty lightning bolts, and I don't hear too many people complaining either...yet. We'll see. Anyway, Canepa had his take on it today. You can read it here. At first, I thought Mr. Nick had found a new schoolgirl crush, going on and on about the big muscles and fast cars Goodell's sporting. Then he gets to the meat of the matter. As impressive as the punishment's were, Goodell is still merely Steven Seagal to AJ Smith's Chuck Norris. Smith has been handing down disciplinary actions like those since before you were a glimmer in your daddy's eye youngster. If AJ were running the whole show, and not just ruling his own team with an iron fist as he feels other owners should be doing, the entire Bengals and Titans teams would likely be suspended for a season or two. And like it!

Ugh. Enough about that. Back to the Padres. Apparently Chris Young either doesn't think that much of himself or he really likes playing here because he signed a four year deal on Monday that, in an era where Gil Meche is shopping for a third house in the French Riviera, would make a back-up ball boy happy. Well, extremely happy, but we got a deal all the same. I guess people are starting to buy into the "San Diego Discount." I think this is a lot like Global Warming. If you say it enough, people will believe it exists whether you can prove it or not. Good for us.

"Hey Mike Cameron! It's coming right at you!"

Hot girl:

5-3 on the way to the World Series. Cool. go Pads!!!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

I'm Making Observations...

I realize that being a part of today's sports scene requires diligent fact checking, constantly perusing of the numbers, and operating your fantasy team as if you were actually a general manager and not some basement dungeon master. But, I think it's safe to say that simply watching games and observing the level of play will tell you a lot about a team and the quality of the product on the field, numbers sometimes be damned. I spent yesterday doing just that in between fits of vomiting and I came up with some noteworthy items. More Bullet Points... I love them so...

*The Bad News Bears reference from Thursday night was more apt than I had originally thought. During that debacle, as Termell "Sledge" Hammer (aptly coined by Max here) failed to take control of the situation and call off the surprisingly powerful of late Vegan, Max began humming that little diddy of a tune from the movie. The YouTube clip yesterday was never more fitting. I worry a bit about Sledge Hammer's defense, more on that in another post. Last night's home run was great, the 'Secret Pop' moniker that Mud and Matt have attempted must be murdered prior to it's acceptance by the masses. 'Sledge' is the nickname, get it right 'professionals'.

*Greg Maddux made his Padre debut last night and there's no nice way to say it, he looks fucking old. Not like shit yourself while piloting your walker to the early bird garden buffet, but definitely on the brink of adult diapertown. He was lobbing puss filled junk balls near the plate all night long, that surprisingly weren't pelted. "You put snot on the baseball?" High(Low)light of the night: Matt Holliday's 6th inning mash out to center off the Vaseline Warrior. Heath Bell was warming up in the bullpen. Without so much as flinching on the mound in center, he casually caught the ball and flipped it into the nighttime crowd. Damn YouTube for not having a clip for my inept ass to find...

*Open Message to T-Rex: You're little brother is a significantly better baseball player than you, he even has normal length arms. What the hell is going on with you? If you think that not swinging the bat and trying to draw walks is a good thing, think again. You went 15 consecutive pitches over a short span without attempting a swing. You reached base zero times in that stretch. How about you quit running around the locker room naked and you try actually putting the baseball in play. I know your disability with the short arms and all prevents proper extension, but Christ, try a bunt or something. No, don't do that, HIT A FUCKING HOME RUN from time to time okay? How 'bout this, if you hit more home runs than your brother, I'll get off your case. Until then it's shitlist for you.

*Completely off Topic: I only like getting into the craw of Nick Canepa and Skip Bayless when the remark the absurd, but yesterday Michael Wilbon of the Washington Post was being nonsensical on the PTI. I like Mike, he's a very good sports guy, but we need a good scandal or something for him to talk about. Yesterday, he was venting about the weather effect on some East Coast baseball games and how the scheduling was so poor not to play those games in protected stadiums to prevent early season cancellations of games. I agreed to a certain extent, but Mike continued with this gem..."It's the dumbest thing. It's dumber than college football not having a playoff system." Uh, no. It's not. There's still 189,499 games, 18 months, 871 Yankees/Red Sox stories and 275 more Joe Buck nonsensicals to go in the season. Postponing a few games is neither a correct comparison or even relevant to college football's struggles to adequately determie a champion. Now, someone go catch Dice K doctoring up a cute coed with his gyroball so Wilbon has something to do. And hurry up.

*Oh, and Red Sox fans, don't you find it funny that you are calling the new sensation out there Dice K? Nice work using the nickname from a Brooklyn born comedian (term used very loosely). The new pride of Boston, named after a New Yorker. It's no wonder no one likes the Red Sox anymore. You are pretty fuckin' stupid fans sometimes.

*It appears that the Vegan is trying to make me look bad. Good work Buddha. Keep it up, try not to injure your sensitive fragile digits.

*Sunday afternoon, I'll be sitting near third base. I'll have whatever you're drinking as long as it's cold and beer like.

Friday, April 06, 2007

There's A First Time For Everything.

All signs seem to indicate that Michael "The Burner" Turner will not spend the 2007 NFL season as insurance for TBE getting injured. "Experts" say a trade will happen within the next week, with Buffalo, Tennessee and Green Bay the likeliest destinations. No word on exactly what we'll get yet. So there you have it, it looks like I was wrong. For the first time ever. Don't get used to it.

In Case You Missed It...

Footage from last night's outfield collision between Kouzmanoff and Greene. I didn't even see Sledgehammer take one in the balls, it happened so fast, but this is a great angle.


Well, it was a nice ride while it lasted, but I think it's time we all admit to ourselves that this team is shitbox. Maybe next year.

Just kidding, 161-1 ain't so bad! Go Pads!!!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Show Us Your VaGiants!

Nice to see CJ back in the fray and I sure hate to push him down the page so soon, but I felt it was necessary to point out the latest Nick Canepa filler article in the San Diego Union Excelsior Newsletter Paper Magazine. It seems Nick has realized that baseball season is upon us and that means he must pen something regarding the only months away from World Series Champion Padres. Since AJ Smith doesn't seem to have anything to say about the Pads, Canepa is forced to write yet another article in the great pantheon of Nick Canepa articles that actually say nothing at all.

Handcuffed by the fact that he apparently has not kissed Kevin Towers ass enough to get any hardcore bad ass "my way or the highway" quotes from him*, Canepa decides to instead compare the Padres to the Chargers, a subject he believes he knows something about. You see, both the Padres and the Bolts won their respective divisions, yet both failed to advance in the playoffs. Schottenheimer was fired shortly thereafter and Bochy was allowed to walk. The pressure is on Norv Turner to win a Superbowl. The pressure is apparently on Bud Black to win a World Series. And before I can so much as start screaming at the screen, Nick actually manages to point out that the talent disparity may be a bit of a factor. You think? the Bolts are the best team talentwise in the NFL. There was no reason for them to bow out in the first playoff game. Conversely, the Padres are about the 10th most talented team in the National League and had no business advancing to the later rounds. There's probably no one in the world outside of me expects them to go to the World Series, and I only expect it because I might be an actual retard. No, Nicky my boy, Bud Black was not brought in here to win the title, he was brought in here to make the team seem less boring somehow. Or to at least make it look like the team was trying to justify ticket price raising and awful, overpriced parking at our glorious ballpark where only other teams can hit home runs (boring).

The fact is, though, Canepa's entire pointless article that said nothing you didn't know, unless it is his own ridiculous opinion, was only to present his new super funny at first, but gets more serious the more you think about it" nickname for San Diego. Wannabe Titletown. Precious. What a douche.

That all being said, last night was fun to watch. We haven't started 2-0 since 98'. I'll take that. Sure, it was no big surprise to watch Bonds hit his first HR of the season off Chris Young (Bonds loves two things when it comes to bombing homers. Doing it against the Pads, and big, fat fastballs right in the wheelhouse.). In fact, my roommate, who is a Cubs fan and a bona fide dickface, actually called the bomb in that at-bat. Fortunately, we had a few dingers of our own, including the game winner from our own slugger in the making and at least one person I know's favorite "bean," Adrian Gonzales. First look at Linebrink and Hoffman and they came out unscathed, although I have to admit I was a bit concerned by how many pitches were hit hard off of them. Good D prevailed, though, and after what is admittedly only two games I can safely cling to my positive vibe about this season. Awesome. Go Pads!!!

*I realize Canepa has some quotes from Towers as well as Black, but those were likely general media quotes and not the super special quotes that AJ gives to him personally. Believe me, Canepa would have made sure to let us know.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

It's Not Football...

Sitting here absorbing my first live action view of the Home Squad against the Ex-Padres, I'm struck with a few random thoughts about the Baseballing Season that is now officially upon us. For you, our faithful, BULLET POINTS!! This lazy man's post...

* I know that we are primarily a footballing site, but since the football team is currently in a vegetative state to me, I'll talk about baseball, if you don't like it, email me for a full refund of your subscription fee and hold your breath.

* Jake pitched a gem yesterday, congrats there Alabama Madman. Now do it for the entire season, try not to hurt yourself celebrating your greatness, and don't sit to close to Wells, that shit he's got might be contagious.

* I'm not one to whine about the umpiring, but tonight's crew to this point is abysmal. The strike zone is a moving target through four innings.

* To all of you who felt obligated to tell me that Tyranasaurus Giles doubled twice yesterday should go get your fucking heads checked. It's one game. Let's wait to annoint him the chosen one until at least the all-star break okay? Guys like Ruben Rivera had good games too, prior to stealing other peoples gloves and trying to sell them on ebay.

* I'll be attending this Sunday at the Home Field, to anyone who may be there, email me so I can tell you where I'll be sitting and what kind of beer you can buy me.

* It's a long season folks, don't hit the panic button and don't get too out of sorts during the first week of the season. We'll be here all year, and I expect all of you to call me out on my bullshit in the comments this season. Your opinion is valuable, express it, or just go jump off a bridge. Either way you'll get recognized.


I guess even Vegans can hit home runs now. Weird...

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

And So It Has Begun.

And in high fashion with a 7-0 shutout of the vaGiants in Frisco. 6 scoreless innings for Peavy, followed by 3 scoreless from the best pen in the biz. Linebrink and Hoffy didn't even have to come in for this one folks. Sorry, Bocch. Nice start, Bud.

Only Two Hours Away!

Let the 2007 World Series run commence. I know I said I'd put up some of my thoughts on the upcoming baseball season before things got under way, but I lied. Fuck it, though. It's baseball, I could wait three weeks to make predictions and such and what's the difference? 162 games buys a man that sort of lee-way. Is that right? "Lee-way?" I don't think I've ever put that term to print. Is that a term or an actual word? Shit. Anyway, I do have a couple of things to point out from yesterday, though keep in mind that it is only one game in:

1) The highly favored in the West Dodgers got pitched retarded by Ben Sheets and the Brewers yesterday.

2) The always annoyingly yakked about $300 million Cubbies likewise were pitched retarded by Aaron Harang and the Reds.

Just two little things that brought a smile to my face. I won't even bother mentioning the Schilling shelling. Oops!

Here's two more things that bring a smile to my face:

Go Pads!!!