Friday, May 06, 2005

Football? Okay, just this once, then Tacos!

Okay, here it goes, but I am in possession of one get out of jail free card and seeing as how I managed enough self restraint on Friday not to go tackle and marginally molest at least a little bit of Ms. Kournikova, I am entitled to it. And if you don’t think so, you can go running off right around the corner and go molest yourself...

Where the hell is Papa Winslow in all of this? Figurehead of the Chargers, one of the most outspoken, intelligent and proud Chargers to ever wear the awesomeness that is Bolt. Where is he while Winslow Redux is out doing his best, er, well, worst impression of Vin Diesel hyped up on crack in his XXX motorcycle stunt club? Are you even serious with all of this? The guy goes out and signs a multi million dollar deal to play football, plays two games, breaks a limb and is out for the season. Then, he rehabs, goes to a motorcycle stunt show, leaves via wheelie to find a parking lot complete with color surveillance camera and starts doing “Super Team Extreme Bad Ass Moto Skillz Stunts” on his glorified moped. Only to crash into a curb, hit a tree, knock off his melon guard, and guarantee himself some shattered bones and a first class playa’s ride via ambulance to Casa de Emergencia. Where they build a bone and screw collection, reinflate his lung and install a baboon’s kidney to replace the one that hit a tree. Ummm, Dad? Dad? Where are you? Why aren’t you teaching your MENSA, perfect SAT son how to act like a professional? What the hell is going on here? Oh, and in the genius’ contract, it says, “NO MOTORCYCLES EVER LEST YOU GO TO HELL WITH GONORRHEA!!!” or something pretty close to that. Moron.

So, that being said, on to the Weekend List of things I like:

-Anna Kournikova
- Tacos
-Sunny days at the beach
-Pop Tart breakfast at the Beachcomber tomorrow a.m.

That’s it.

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