Saturday, April 29, 2006

Draft Day Donuts...

In just a few words due to my inability to be articulate about what I am seeing on television at this moment, enjoy some bullet points:

-Houston has renewed my faith that I could be a professional General Manager. Success at that position is not a requirement to hold the job.

-The New Orleans Saints have just become the 2004 Chargers, IF, (and the caps lock button isn’t putting the emphasis on the IF that I would like) IF, IF, IF IF, Drew Brees comes back from injury.

-Tennessee just got the cheap version of Michael Vick. Congratulations.

-Ahhhhhh, the Jets. Always going to be the Jets. J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets!!!! Happy times….

Friday, April 28, 2006

Big Fat Charger Draft Preview.

In short, who do I want? Santonio Holmes. I want a star receiver, damn it! I want a flashy guy, and I think I deserve it. I've been so good this year. 4 months and nary a restraining order to be seen.

Who do I think the coaches want? Winston Justice. But I don't see A.J. as the trading up kind of guy.

Who does A.J. want? Well, if indeed the transformation to Bobby Beathard levels of genius is truly under way, this could be the year he trades way back and drafts the entire Mesa College senior class. Honestly, though, A.J. has drafted pretty well to this point, so I can't be too hard on him there. I could see him taking a LB at 19. Maybe Ernie Simms, if by some crazy miracle he falls that far. He won't. Vince Young? Ha Ha.

Who do I think we'll actually get? Jimmy Williams.

How do I feel about that? Not so hot. In the last 4 years we've drafted a DB twice with our 1st rounder, and they haven't exactly burst onto the scene in a blazing fury. Hell, one of them is gone, traded for an excuse not to take a receiver #1.

Oh well, whatever happens, I'm excited, because it's the draft, and the NFL makes it so pretty that it's almost like watching actual football. Mostly just cause I'm drunk by noon, though, really. Go Bolts!!! Draft your asses off!

Friday, April 21, 2006

Open Letter #2...

Mr. A.J. Smith,

I am going to make this quick. I tried to make this point in a very round about way in my last post. But it didn’t work, so here goes attempt #2 at explaining this without sounding hypocritical.

If Donnie Edwards leaves town, it will be the third time (Brees doesn’t count he was hurt) that we let one of the beloved members of the team depart because management didn’t want to pay or show any loyalty to them. Sometimes I have supported this and sometimes I haven’t. But I have been wrong as well. But the bottom line is this:

Sometimes you have to keep the guys the fans like even if it might cost you a bit of money. The fan base wants to win, but we also want to win with the guys we like. That is very important. A TEAM. We want to follow A TEAM. Not a bunch of strangers that are cheaper than the other guys we like that get ARRESTED!!!

Sometimes it’s good to listen to the fans. It’s up to you start believing that.

Maybe someone ought to remind you how you got your job.

With all sincerity,


Look Out! Here Comes The Man Again!

This is getting out of hand! When will the SDPD give up their obvious grudge against the San Diego Charger Linebacking corp. These guys are out, minding their own business, and trying to enjoy some well-deserved downtime in the offseason. Then, from out of the blue, San Diego's finest comes along and makes a big deal out of some minor parking violation, some expired out-of-state registration (Really, shouldn't that be the Arkansas PD's responsibility?), the stench of booze, and the alledged attempt to flee the scene. Ridiculous. Let's face it, it's a different linebacker every time, so the common denominator is apparent. It's hard to field a winning team when the city is working so hard to incarcerate all your players. Still, three cops? You've gotta admire the heart. Get on with your bad self, Steve Foley!

P.S. Nice picture, UT, but couldn't you find one where he's brandishing some sort of weapon. Freakin' media vampires!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

An Open Letter...

Dear Mr. Canepa, Mr. Smith, Mr. Spanos and our Fan Base,

Well, not much can be said on top of what has already been said here today about the state of our football team. Will we be good? My thought is yes. Will we make the playoffs? Maybe. Will we go all the way to the Super Session and get the first prized brass ring that we seek so desperately in this town? Uhhh, no. No we won’t. As we have seen in the past, it’s time to jettison the guys that have gotten us here and replace them with cheaper, less talented talent so that we remain competitive enough to sell out the seats and lift your television blackout weekly. Just enough that the NFL recognizes that this would be a good fit for the L.A. market and allow that town to chase another franchise from their ranks.

This Donnie E. thing has me up in arms. Believe me, Donnie is one of the most underrated backers of the line that has played in this town. He is by all measures a superstar. He has been and he will continue to be, of that I have no doubt. Needless to say that guy gave his all for this squad and is a staple now to this team. Do we have guys that can fill his shoes when he is gone? Perhaps, as we do have a lot of very talented guys playing those positions right now. Is this the right move? Yes, and no. Donnie wants what is amounting to back pay, he has been the best around this town for years now. Is he getting old? Yes, it’s what people and professional athletes do. I have yet to meet anyone save Gary Coleman who have been able to retard the aging process. But, to just be able to cut ties and move on as we have done two times already is just a bit much for me to handle. I’d be surprised if by gametime (read: September) if he was still out there guarding the middle of the field leading the defense. Donnie, if you have suited up for your last game here in San Diego, you will be missed. Come kickoff in month number nine, I will be looking for you out there on the field. I hope that you will be in Oakland wreaking havoc on those mother fu… jerks out there, dominating as you have.

I won’t go as far as you Mr. Canepa and verbally stimulate Mr. Smith. But I can almost see your angle, Mr. GM. But that is the main problem. You always has an angle, and I think that it is perfectly clear thanks to MC here that the angle is Los Angeles. And I think it blows rhinoceros testes that it is so transparent yet again. It’s about time to start thinking about becoming faithful to another squad as the inevitable move develops with more and more pieces falling into place for the moving trucks to be backing into the Murph in ’08.

So, Mr. Canepa, call a spade a spade when you see one. I am eager to read one more of your columns and only one more. The one that contains your explanation for being a Smith apologist when the opening day kickoff happens for the Los Angeles “Whatevers”. I want to see how you cover your tracks when the team is gone and you have spent your time defending all the personnel decisions that are in the team’s best interest. I am sure though this won’t be remembered when you collect your check and continue writing about the stability of our team. No, our GM isn’t an idiot, he is a calculating, manipulating bastard that is looking to break this town’s will yet again. You call him John Wayne? I call him a prick who doesn’t give a shit about the fan base here whatsoever. Not that it apparently matters to you, him or the Spanos Klan. Line your pockets boys, you have the town sportswriter in your pocket, feel free to have your way with the town. You all can bite me collectively.



Here We Go Again.

I have a theory as to why Nick Canepa performs this sort of literary fellatio on A. J. Smith. Let's call it the Almost Famous or Cameron Crowe effect. Smith talks to Canepa. He tells him things that make him feel special. He defends himself with Achilles-like charisma and Canepa eats it up by the spoonful like so much Trojan widow.

The problem is, anyone with half a mind knows that A. J. Smith isn't an idiot. While I'll admit I don't see the wisdom in letting a player like Edwards leave at this crucial point, I do see the point. I see the forest, the trees, hell I can even see the little Smurf houses tucked away within. The best part is, A. J. himself gives away his master plan again and again. He's building a team for the future. The future, people.

Let me explain. This team may make the playoffs with a first time starting QB this year. It may go far in the playoffs with a terrible secondary this year. Both of those things MIGHT happen. But let's be realistic. Probably not. And it's especially unlikely if half your team-the half that has to keep the other high scoring AFC West competitors out of the end zone-doesn't have it's most productive performer over the last several years. And if this team doesn't somehow overcome and accomplish those lofty goals, this town will, for the most part, turn their backs. San Diego loves a winner, and on those rare occasions that our franchises supply one, we are voracious in our support. But this town abhors a loser, and when those good times are so far and few between, forgive us when we exit the bandwagon, even prematurely. A stadium vote after another "underachieving" year will be a joke.

So I say to you all, the future team that A. J. Smith is building is not the San Diego Chargers. It is the Los Angeles "Whatevers." And I don't care what this douche bag tries to sell you, Marty ain't going to be there and A. J. IS trying to run him out. It isn't easy getting rid of a coach like Marty when you are doing your best to pull the wool over the eyes of the fans in order to sell the last couple of season ticket packages. We remember the last time a GM in this town ran out a winning coach. And we sure as hell remember the decade that followed. So screw you A. J. Smith. And screw you Nick Canepa for believing and spreading this tripe. And screw you Los Angeles "Whatevers," but for now, go Bolts!!!

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Part II

Good Lord today is a fine day. I wake up to find that the rain continues raining out baseball games across the land. Basketball goes on to the playoffs without people with sore backs, a favorite linebacker whom I have had occasion to meet a couple of times may be leaving town, and one of the potentially better pass rushers on our squad is doing his best to prevent seizures. Geez, it’s a good morning. Thanks to MC for keeping this place warm as well. We missed you buddy.

So, when we last left this spot we were busy trying to explain why the new quarterback situation is not the dire plot that the mass voice would lead you to believe. Fear not folks, the squad is in shape, the schedule is set and there is no one in their right mind that should be complaining about ‘how tough it is, waahhahahahahahhhaaaaa!!’ like we had last year. The tears can no longer drip between the keys on the board and the new quarterback is going to be fine. Why you say? Let’s see if this helps…

Much as everyone that is armed with a keyboard and an audience of more than three would like you to believe, Team Phillip (I’m experimenting with a nickname, I’m gonna try a few, feel free to tell me which ones suck) is not a rookie. Yes, I know that he will be taking his first snaps as a starter, and that his experience is limited primarily to kneeling on the ball for Marty. But let’s get to business here. Drew is gone, we got that, and I don’t want to come off like I didn’t like him, I did. But he’s gone, it was the right decision and I wish him all the best, you will never convince me we made a mistake. So in comes New Guy #17. Seventeen had a college career that is nothing to be ashamed of. I am not always a huge numbers guy, in my opinion, numbers can be put together to even make old #16 look good. I actually typed his name there, threw up on the keyboard and erased it. Bottom line is, The Kid put up numbers in college and that’s a good start.

Seventeen has been sitting back and babysitting clipboards in this system for two years now. He learned a successful system that is loaded with tools. He has prepared himself well and knows how the offense works. Now, I don’t know who keeps forgetting that Seventeen has #21 lining up behind him on every snap. Last time we checked in with 21, he was at the top of his game and near the top of the league as an offensive player. Ask Ty Law, or Adam Archuletta if 21 can carry the load for this team. It’s a tremendous ease on a young quarterback if you have a solid running game. Check, yep, we got one of those.

Seventeen also has at his disposal, that other guy. What’s his name? I think he wears 85. Hmmm, Eric Seivers… wait no that’s not it… Oh yeah, that’s that Antonio guy. He’s pretty good. And the last time I checked, no one can really cover him and he is a quarterback’s best friend. Seventeen to Eighty Five is going to be a popular call this year. Wow, this doesn’t look that bad does it?

We are also staffed with a receiving corps that benefits from the presence of 85 and 21. Keenan still gets it done, E. Parker is one of the more underrated route runners in the league, and the potential emergence of Vinnie Jack is going to only contribute further. The difference this year is that Seven can get the ball to those guys on the deep route better than Nine did. He can. You can’t dispute that. Go back and watch some film and see how many times guys were under thrown or flat out missed on the deep route. Do it. You will be surprised.

With these viable options the game is simplified for Seventeen. The pieces are in place. You couldn’t ask for a better situation as a first year starter. Seventeen has to be thinking, “You mean, I get to go in there with Tomlinson, Gates, and the Crew? Cool.” This isn’t some second string scout offense he will be running. He is lining up with pro bowlers every week. You can’t get any more dialed in than that. If success is not achieved, we may have to reevaluate the talent level of this guy. Loosely translated, that means, if you can’t have success in this offense, you just might not be any good. You in fact, just might suck. So, we will know very soon how good this guy is. It’s time to play and find out. Ask Brady or Reuengrueter if they would have liked to have those guys around them when they got their first starts. Oh yeah, those guys have about 4 diamond studded paper weights between them, and they succeeded with less than Seventeen has the benefit of. I’m not scared, why are the rest of you?

Finally and this is not fun for me, but check out how many game winning comebacks that Nine had. I can’t really remember too many. I remember a game tying one in the playoffs, but alas, that one fell a little short. Drew got it done to a certain extent, but we were either blowing teams out or losing. There weren’t too many close ones that fell on Nine’s shoulders to win. Is that important? Yeah, I think so. Drew will have success as he always has, but I don’t think he will ever lead a team to the promised land. At least I haven’t seen any evidence yet that he would. Sorry to ruin the party.

It’s Seventeen’s time now. We won’t be disappointed.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Maybe She Was Having a Seizure. Do Headlocks Stop Seizures?

Any chance this will have an effect on the decision to move Donnie Edwards? In Shaun Phillips' defense, sometimes the ladies just be asking for the headlock treatment. And the San Diego Police Department has a long history of attacking professional athletes.

History Repeating.

So now A.J. Smith wants to trade Donnie Edwards? Unbelievable. A proven team leader who has said that he would like to play in San Diego for three or four more years and retire. Wait, this sounds familiar. Who am I thinking of? Ooh, it's on the tip of my tongue. Whatever. I'm sure it'll come to me.

So, you've got a team poised to do great things (first time starting QB permitting), and you get rid of the indisputable heart of your emerging defensive unit? The guy who's seen it all and can offer some guidance to the neverending stream of rookie defenders you rely on to make your defensive scheme run? Who do you expect to step up? Quentin Jammer? Not likely. Shawne Merriman? Sure, the guy has proven himself to be a superb talent, gifted speaker and all around great personality, but that's still a lot to put on a guy who's going into his second year. Whoever it is, I hope they do a better job than Marcellus Wiley.

And for those of you who want to see Marty out the door, I hope you're happy. Because that is what this is really all about. A. J. loves his guys, and Donnie Edwards is a Marty guy. We'll have a new coach next year, and I'm sure that makes a lot of people happy. Before you go and start putting up San Diego Chargers Superbowl Champion banners, though, let me throw a few names at you. Kevin Gilbride. Mike Riley. June Jones, for Christ's sake! Be careful what you wish for. Suck it, A. J.