Suck On This A One Time!

What the hell is up with all the ass holes in my town who hate my sports teams? Does this happen everywhere? I have to think that this is most likely a San Diego thing. This town is completely overrun with dipshit transplants who spent one college spring break here and decided to come back and start fights, date rape co-eds and generally shit all over town like they own the place. I swear I’ve met more surly, smarmy meatheads from New York, Boston, Philly and Chicago than I can remember, and 90% of them have left me grasping for a shred of compassion towards my fellow man. One major problem is that people from back east tend to make no attempt to hide the fact that they think people from the west coast are about as useful as a seat belt in a plane crash. The sense of entitlement is astounding. This becomes their town for a few years, they inevitably leave, and a whole new group of butt nugget frat boys move in. Thing is, though, I don’t really care. I know it sounds like I do, but I’m used to it. I can handle the over crowded bars. I can handle it when one of these shit bags thinks I don’t get their clever little jab at my expense. I’m from San Diego. I’m obviously a total retard. No problem. What I can’t understand is the seemingly inexplicable hatred so many of these people have for my teams. Especially the Chargers.

I give much props to anyone who brings their fandom all the way across the country. Lord knows I would still follow my beloved Bolts if I moved to Saskatchewan (Not if they moved to L.A., though. I once rooted for the Lakers until I realized what I was doing and became violently ill.). So, I can understand the hate if my team is playing your team. Hate away. That’s half the joy of being a rabid sports fan. In such a case, my team should have no chance in your eyes and I can appreciate any profanity laden tirade you care to make regarding my piss poor team and their complete lack of any chance of representing anything but ineptitude. Go for it, I’ll give it right back to you.

And say you’re relocated to San Diego from Denver, Oakland or KC. I certainly don’t expect you to embrace the Chargers. Not you, though, L.A., the Raiders have been gone for a decade or so, so get over it, bitches. The rest of you, though, I expect nothing but vitriol from the rest of you. Bring it, cause mine is sure to have already been broughten.

But what is up with you jerk-offs whose teams barely cross paths with the Bolts? Hey Giants fans, what’s your problem? I mean, we could claim to have a problem with your little sissy bitch QB, but what’s your beef? Is it that our players never seem to stand still when you’re trying to pelt them with ice balls, so you’re only able to hit our coaches? And Philly, how classy is it to harass me for wearing San Diego gear into your Eagle bar? I should think you’d appreciate the fact that San Diego has actually provided you with a bar of your own to go to. The truth is, though, it’s hard to find a bar that caters to Charger fans to the point that very few fans of other teams show up. I can think of bars that are stocked almost entirely with fans for the Steelers, Eagles or Niners off the top of my head, but the bar we go to fills up with Giants, Seahawks, Broncos and Patriots fans every Sunday, many of whom seem to be there more to ruin my experience than to enjoy their own game.

I started watching this team when I was six years old, and while San Diego is often knocked as a fair weather town, such is certainly not the case with the group of friends CJ and I watch the games with. The Charger organization has done much over the years to weaken the fan support of this team, and that’s unfortunate, but the fans are still here. They really are. Yet random Raider ass hat comes by my desk yesterday and asks me how my weekend went. I should have known I was being set up, but I answered with the well known refrain, “It was going great until my Chargers lost.” His reply: “So, I guess they’re not your favorite team anymore?” Okay, now that I type that out, it is a pretty good rip, but fuck you, Raider fan! You don’t know me!

I don’t expect you to come to my town and embrace my team. I know some people that have and it’s great, but I don’t think geography necessarily has to dictate the team you love. I just wish you’d shut the fuck up about how much you hate my Bolts, when you have no actual reason to care. You love my city? Then lay off my football team.

Actually, I don’t care what you say about my team, I just wanted to rant about all the fucksticks who come to my town and get in my way all day. And quit bitching about San Diego drivers, every ass bag on the road is from your town! Thanks for listening, maybe tomorrow I’ll write about football. Go Bolts!!!