Return of the Quick Hits...

Holy good fucking Christ the last couple of days have been strange. Let's sum it up Quick Hits style...

-The Cardinals(!) won the world series and I don't know what to say about that.

-While watching "Rookie of the Year" this morning, I saw a terrific acting performance by a pre-Merriman Barry Bonds striking out agains a 12 year old kid. By terrific acting performance, I mean, dramatic shot of Bonds pre-horse testosterone at 180 pounds.

-The aforementioned Shawne Merriman will play the next two weeks in anticipation of his appeal decision for shooting horse semen into his buttocks. Hopefully, there are advisors that will guide him in the direction of dropping the appeal so that he doesn't miss both games against the choking donkeys.

-I have officially mailed in my performance as a gambler this footballing season. My wallet is hemmorrhaging green as I sit comfortably in dead last place of my pool. Damn your spreads Las Vegas. Damn your spreads.

-If you haven't done so yet, please go here.

-We may or may not be in the stands for this weekend's contest with the St. Louis Rams. Damn you ticket lady for refusing to sell me your tickets at your asking price and try to force me into a bidding war. I hope someone leaves gonorrhea on your seats you bitch.

-We have been spared the sight of Shawne Merriman's balls due to Maryland's victory over North Carolina State last weekend. Apparently Mr. Rivers and Mr. Dyanabol had a bet last weekend with a pair of dolphin shorts bearing the insignia of NC State should Maryland lose. They didn't. Thankfully we will not have to bear witness as to whether or not steroids really do make your balls into raisins.

-Bruce Bochy is gone. After a dozen years the team decided to make a change at the top of the management tree. I am a bit confused as to how I feel about this. I guess change is good, but, there had better be some plan in place to bring a top tier coach in and to spend our significant free dollars on a top quality player who can perhaps drive in 100 runs and hit 30 home runs. Dammit.

-A message to all of the girls this weekend... Slut it up like professionals for the Halloween festival this weekend. Get it right dammit...



Happy Slutting Day all...