It's a Broom. Get it??

It's just unbelievable. It's a better team than last year's squad, save that Giles guy who has proven his uselessness to me over and over again, good thing we have him for two more years at NINE MILLION DOLLARS, but what the hell is going on? It's the Cardinals, they nearly blew an 8 1/2 game lead in the last 10 games of the season. They have one, ONE, pitcher. And Jared Fucking Weaver goes out there and looks like Dwight Gooden prior to him snorting all the coke in New York, the chalk lines at Shea, and the dander of small kittens looking for a high.

I've heard lots of things in the last couple of hours. Things that could be construed as excuses. "Well, they just don't win day games." Oh really? Is that why they got 4 hits and struck out nine times. "Well, they just don't win at home." Well, that makes a whole lot of fucking sense, you know, not being able to win in front of your home crowd for 81 GAMES IN A SEASON! "Well, it's the shadows." The shadows? Are there invisible Padre killing demon like beings in the shadows that make our team absolutely suck?

We here in San Diego are rooting for FAILURES. We are a bunch of failures. We are utterly incapable of being remotely considered good teams. We get our hopes up each year, our local television stations cheer cheer and rah rah when we win a game, and it's big news when we lock down first place in May. And then come the playoffs, where we try to talk ourselves into the fact that we can win a series, in fact maybe two. I don't know how many mentions of "World Series" I heard during game one. Well, right before the Defecation Orifice went yard and had people making for Coronado to chuck themselves from the big bridge. Some call me a naysayer, once again, I'm falling squarely in the realist category as the brooms come out on Saturday. Oh? Have faith you say? Look back at the 2004 ALCS you say? Well, were not the fucking Red Sox thank whatever deity you worship, we're the Padres and we're nobody's daddy. Thanks for 2006 guys, maybe management can sign Alan Wiggins’ soul, Dave Dravecky’s left arm, and Eric Show’s ghost and really shore this thing up for another Western Division Championship.

Oh, and a hearty Fuck You to St. Louis. You beat us again, and I will make sure I do something vile to that Arch you all are so freakin' proud of.