Tuesday, December 05, 2006

When Did I Become The Naysayer?


Well, I can't say nay to that. 'Tis the season and all.

Okay, I believe it is imperative that I put something up here before you all believe I have stopped caring. I know I promised to tell you all why a guy wants to kill me in a somewhat football related way, butI have been busy as all get out, so it's going to have to wait a bit longer. Hopefully I will get it done tonight since it is a slow TV night and fuck you House is a freaking douche bag! And if anybody tries to tell me I need to give Friday Night Lights a second chance, I will poke them in the eyeball. Try me. So, check in this evening for the possibility of good times.

Since I'm here right now, though, why don't I go ahead and let you know how I feel about that game in Buffalo the other day. It's like this, the last couple of weeks I've avoided drinking copious amounts of booze during the Bolts' contests. I know this seems like a travesty, but damn I'm old, and it sucks to be worthless for two to three days after the weekend. Also, it seemed to me that with the Chargers making a legit run at the whole thing, it might be fun to be completely aware of what's going on. Boy, was I wrong. Don't get me wrong, it'll be fun to one day tell the kids who the court orders to visit me in the assisted living home or go to juvy, that I used to watch The Best Ever steam roll over small, uncoordinated men week after week. I will regale them with tales of the two headed sack monster called Shaune Merrilips. Problem is, then I will have to tell them about the scary rock handed monsters of the secondary! The greasy handed field general! And the mysterious coach who said he didn't anymore but still totally does!

Seriously, Drayton Florence should be schilling for 7-up right now. And Phillip, I love you man, but that was the second week in a row you looked a little lost out there. I have faith you can turn it around, and I'm glad you found First Down again because that will help a lot, but you are probably going to end up facing Baltimore again at some point and you may not be able to call on TBE to bail you out again. Then there's Schotty. Oh, Schotty, you may have fooled the rest of them but I know. I've always known. Sure, Martyball looks dead when you have to score a bunch of points on your way to a huge comeback, but not so much in Buffalo Sunday. A couple of bad mistakes put the Bills right back in the game and you looked pretty content to sit on that measly three point lead that remained. Everybody will praise the team for that eight minute drive at the end, but the game was still way too close for comfort after the defense basically rocked back on its heels and let J.P. fucking Losman march down the field like Hannibal.

Now, everybody says that, hey, we'll take the win on the road, in the snow, and far be it from me to disagree. The issue I have, though, is that I don't care what anybody says, Oakland and Buffalo are bad football teams, and we were handling bad teams earlier in the season. Regression is not the way to enter the play-offs, so let's hope we iron out the kinks in the next four weeks. I know we can. Go Bolts!!!

11 comments:

CJ said...

Who the hell is this and what have you done with Max? Is this the equivalent of the bizarro Chargers season? I mean shit dammit, here it sit, totally not chewing my fingers bloody, not suffering palpitations of the heart and hoping that Automated External Defibrillator (of which I spent 4 hours being retrained on yesterday) is close by. Not even one care, no concern in the world about this team and it's ability to succeed, and here you are struggling to be on board.

What the hell is the matter with you? How did you, you of all people, become the naysayer? Did I drink the juice or are you suffering from longstanding completely football inducing panic attacks like I have in the past? Is there some doctrine that says there needs to be a naysayer? Dammit, I want answers!!!!

Maximum Colossus said...

I'd call it the ghost of 2004. We had some of these very same issues that year and lost to the Jets because we didn't really seem to address them. We're certainly a better team now with our ridiculous pass rush, but the secondary is still lacking and Marty is still too concerned with not losing rather than actively winning. There is no reason this team shouldn't make a run at the big one and I just don't want to get caught with our pants down against some also-ran in the play-offs. Don't look now, but the Jets are looking like a play-off team, and they seem to be the bane of our existence.

CJ said...

Fuck the Jets. Fuck the Colts. FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK the Ravens. We need not even speak of the NFC. This is not the 2004 team, this is the 2006 team and no one is going to stop us.

Maximum Colossus said...

How about the ghost of 1994? Secondary got shredded that year in the Superbowl (Okay, that was technically in 1995). We had a pretty solid pass rush, and a potent offense then too. Of course, no one in the NFC could do that to us, but the similarities between the Colts and the Niners back then is notable.

CJ said...

Dude, look. It's not 12 years ago. History is no predictor of the future. The '94 team was possibly as good as this current version of the Bolts. But, it was the early/mid nineties Niners. We were outmatched as would anyone who would have gone and played them.

God Dammit QUIT IT! Where's your confidence in this squad, especially in this age of parity, where it may actually be the case that we are not only the best team, but that no other team is living up to expectations and or able to compete consistently.

Quit with your ghosts and all that history crap. We are making a new history for ourselves, get on board!!! This one quite possible could be our year, and I'm not going to listen to "history" and "ghosts" you retard.

Maximum Colossus said...

Retard?! Harsh. Trust me, I am on board with this squad, and I agree that no one else is entirely consistent either.

My reason for bitching is that I know what this entire team is capable of, and I just haven't seen them do it for the last couple of weeks.

Also, I was not happy to see a big dose of the supposedly dead Martyball the other day.

I fully believe we win the whole thing this year, and I have been saying it all along, but I want this TEAM to be The Best Ever. Not just one guy.

Maximum Colossus said...

Also, you're an a-hole.

CJ said...

See? Was that so hard? Dammit, if I can recognize it so easily that I am not naysaying then it should be very simple for you to do the same.....

Oh, I got it, I'll just try that reverse psychological sciencetology stuff and do the naysaying myself. Even though my heart won't be in it, I'll do it if it will help...

Unknown said...

I think it is wise to worry about Marty. We all know he tanked that Ravens game because he didn't have confidence in Rivers and with the way Rivers is playing of late, it may be safe to assume that Marty is thinking about the good ol' days where he was comforted by his security blanket named "Martyball."

CJ said...

Agreed on the Ravens game but that was very early on in the season prior to really letting the kid run the show.

Yes he will still sit on a lead on the road, of that I am sure. But, I think the days of really turning off the offense are over. At least until the playoffs.

Believe me, I'm looking for reasons to be critical of anything, but there just aren't too many right now. They have won 6 in a row you know...

Unknown said...

Thats is true. Ahhh 6 in a row. Feels good.