I watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang the other night. It's a snappy little entertaining film worth checking out, but more importantlyit features the above biscuit, Michelle Monaghan. She's not A-list, so I couldn't find any pro airbrushed hotness, but this picture is cute and in the spirit of the season so it's good enough to rock this post. Plus, chicks with guns are totally sexy.
Now that we're at the three quarter point of the season and Christmas or Hannukah or Kwanzaa or whatever are all fast approaching, I thought I rock out my list of gifts for a few of my boys in Blue and Gold. You've been so good this year!
Phillip Rivers - Let's start out with are little boy who's all grows up and he all grows up and he's all grows up. You get a Nintendo Wii, so all the other kids in the neighborhood can come over and laugh at the funny way you swing the controller around while you're beating their asses at Super Mario Golf! Go get 'em, kid!
Antonio Gates - First Down gets himself a big cushy massage chair from Sharper Image and every season of the Sopranos on Blu-Ray. He might finally get the chance to relax and enjoy them since he does have to do it all in the receiving game this year.
Shawne Merriman - A brand new California King size bed to live under. Cause you are a freaking monster!
Quentin Jammer - A pat on the back. You've been better than the credit they give you this year. Hey, you're not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither am I. And you know what? I dig it. Nice with the four picks too. You got four games to make a personal best. Shatter it, buddy.
Lorenzo Neal - What can I say? You pave the way. I'm getting you you're very own steamroller. If you ever need to flatten anything in the off-season, you can take it easy and let the machine do all the work.
Eric Parker - You're getting a Double XL stainless steel cup, becasue I have seen you make no less than a dozen fearless plays for the ball this season. You sir, have got some cajones.
Nate Kaeding and Mike Scifres - A Dr. Scholl's Foot Spa 5000, if such a thing exists. Your tootsie's have to be sore from all that quality kicking. Let's keep them fresh.
The O-line - Steaks. Big ones. Maybe even a meat of the month club membership. You guys are doing the Lord's work up there. And you, Rook, way to step it up!
The Magnificent Seven - Awe man, you guys get Hot Wheels. Cause Hot Wheels rule. I know I always loved getting Hot Wheels when I was a kid, and nobody ever gets me any Hot Wheels anymore. What a bummer. Enjoy your Hot Wheels.
Drayton Florence - Coal. Until you start catching the ball. Then you can have your real gift, which is a puppy. I'm keeping him until then.
The safeties - Train sets. Train sets are solid gifts.
Keenan McCardell - This was a tough one. I'm gonna go ahead and pimp your ride. Something tells me you'd appreciate that, playah.
Malcolm Floyd & Big Vin - It may not seems like a lot, but I'm getting low on cash so you guys get much respect. You guys are gonna be the shit some day soon. Oh what the hell, have some of those laser pointers. Those are fun!
And last, but oh so definitely not least, LaDainian. TBE. Unfair Nuclear Missile - What do you get for the player who has it all? That's easy. The mother of all gifts. LaDainian, you my friend, get World Peace. Okay, that may be a little beyond my reach, so how about a Super Soaker Supreme? Or some of those talking Incredible Hulk fists? Those are pretty cool. You know what, just tell Santa what you want, and I'll get in touch with him. I'll see what I can do about World Peace.
Go Bolts!!!
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