Monday, December 18, 2006

Stating The Obvious Never Rocked So Hard!

A controversial standpoint.
(from CollegeHumor)

Thanks College Humor. That made my Monday. And now a couple of quick notes on games I remember watching yesterday:

I’ve lately been getting a lot of shit for Cutting Japey Losman earlier this season, and thus far I’ve stuck to my guns regarding my opinion that he is one of the least quarterbacks in the league. Well, it may be time to change my tune and give Japey a second chance. Japey hoisted 3 TDs on a Miami defense that is never at a loss to tell you how super ball bitchin’ they are. That’s a performance that gives someone a modicum of respect in this blogger’s mind. Keep it up and Colossus may go ahead and draw you up a new imaginary contract. Hell, I may even pick you up in my fantasy league to start the championship game. Between performances by Rex Grossman and John Kitna this season, I’m getting about -3 points from that position. How much worse could you be? I hate to ask.

Imagine my surprise to find out yesterday that Jason Campbell is a black quarterback. He throws the ball downfield from the pocket without fear. Ever as much a gunslinger as Brett Favre, and not a single apostrophe, wing-ding or superfluous consonant in his name. This guy was pretty fun to watch and people are starting to ask why Gibbs waiting so long to turn him loose. Of course, now that America knows Campbell is black, people are going to have their theories. Let me go ahead and start us all out. Joe Gibbs is obviously a raging Nazi racist! Either that or he really misses NASCAR. Nazi racist is better copy, so I’ll go with that because if I start going by the laws of journalism like that, people may start referring to me as an actual journalist. Then I can get in to meet with super important people like A.J. Smith and ask him to explain to me again what’s wrong with Donnie Edwards.

Make this bet: Bet your children on Jacksonville to lose your children in a bet on them on any given Sunday. Makes about as much sense as that team, huh? What a bunch of the gays. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

When are people going to start realizing that Detroit and Cleveland make everybody look bad? The only reason anybody ever thought Jeff Garcia was a bad quarterback is because Terrell Owens said he was. Terrell Owens. Seriously. The Eagles may win the division. Don’t go crazy, I didn’t say they were good, I just said they may win that division. Which is in the NFC. Which is not a good place for a division to be located these days.

Nice Job New Orleans. Way to make me look like a retarded fuckhead this weekend. Also, I totally didn’t want to win my football pool this week so thank you for making sure that is unpossible.

Pretty glorious footballing week. Been a string of them this year in San Diego. I hope you all enjoy watching history as much as I do. Go Bolts!!!

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