Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Soooo soft. You're Cut!


The following is long, rambling and disjointed. I need to get more sleep.
Overall this year, I’ve been getting away from pure fandom here on this blog. I’ve tried to be broader in content and address things that outside of the realm of Charger football alone. Things like Inside the NFL and stuff I hate. Don’t be fooled, though, I love my Chargers more than I can recall ever having loved them before. Even more than 1994, when we finally broke into football’s most illustrious showcase performance. Unfortunately, we went to the Superbowl in an era when everyone knew that the NFC Championship game was the real big show. So, as much as it was exciting to win those post season games, in the back of our heads all we could really hope for was a miracle. What we got instead was Steve Young trying to prove he was just as good as Joe Montana, and doing a pretty solid job of it at that. We got to see Jerry Rice add to his hall of fame resume and we got to see Ricky Waters help pave the way for multi threat RBs like the one we employ here in San Diego today. We got to enjoy seeing George Seifert get drenched in victory Gatorade instead of the Bolts scoring in the final minutes of a game long out of reach. Still, I love those 1994 guys. Stan Humphries was a gamer with absolutely no quit. Natrone Means was a bulldozer, setting his own Charger records in his time. Alfred Pupunu was a big play Tight End once every three or four games. Tony Martin was way fast. Junior was still in his prime. Stanley Richard was called the Sheriff for some reason. Those guys were heroes to me then, but they could never have been what today’s team is. The favorite. Favored to win it all, and not just some consolation. This team- today’s team- is something else. This team is special in ways the ’94 team could only dream of. Oh, what glory it would be to take this team back to that fateful day and put them up against Steve Young’s 49ers! I believe the contest would be decidedly less one-sided. Where Jerry Rice was once considered the best ever, we would bring the new and true best ever. Manimal would eat Steve Young in the first quarter, pat his full belly and offer Elvis Grbac to Shaun Phillips. Even What if Sports had the 2004 Chargers going 3-1-1 in a five game reenactment I ran between them and the 1994 Niners. That’s the 2004 Bolts. Imagine what this team would do! Glorious!!!

Okay, so where was I going with this? Oh, right! In honor of my deciding to kind of sort of get all fanboy on the team today, I’ve decided to make the Kansas City Chiefs this weeks Cut.

Let’s start out with this piece of shit quote from this piece of shit Kansas City newspaper:

It's a foregone conclusion that when the Chargers' playoff run is finished, so will be Donnie Edwards' time in San Diego. Perhaps most disconcerting is while Edwards has been productive on the field and a pillar in the community, devoting hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars through his foundation and tireless charity work, several other Chargers have embarrassed the organization.-- Kansas City Star
At first glance, It’s hard to argue with anything in the above statement. Donnie Edwards is a good guy and a solid performer that we’ll all be sorry to see gone next season. We have had an exorbitant number of off field problems on this team this season. Gee, Kansas City Star, you sure did nail it. But wait! What’s this part I glossed over the first time around?

“when the Chargers' playoff run is finished”

Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you, KC Star! You are shit eating bastards and you are dead to me. Not that I was a reader of you’re stupid newspaper anyway. Now, check out this article form some guy named Eric Kay from something called SPiN on Sports that appears to be affiliated with CBS Sportsline and maybe Maxim magazine or some such bullshit. Maxim sucks. Did you know that magazine’s like Maxim in other countries show boobs? Maxim US sucks. Anyway, the gist of this ass tick’s article is that Larry Johnson is having a more impressive year than TBE. This, of course, is just some bullshit paid ballsucker’s way of trying to be hip by saying what no one else would bother thinking. Seriously, the guy doesn’t really seem convinced of his own arguments. He brings up the Chiefs problems with losing linemen this year, but fails to mention that we’re starting a rook in a key position on our own line this year. He laments the loss of Trent Green, yet concedes that Huard played better and that the Chargers have a first time starting QB on their own roster.

Kay mentions the fact that Johnson is starting in a new system this year. Wah. Everybody in the world knows that RBs acclimate to a new system better than any other position player.

The only real solid point Kay makes is that TBE has LO Neal and Johnson lost Tony Richardson. In fact the article ends up turning into a LO Neal fanrant about halfway through. I don’t really have a problem with that, cause LO is a weapon, but lost is the fact that KC’s blocking schemes are a pretty solid evener. I mean, Priest Holmes was putting up record years before Johnson and Tony Richardson didn’t have much to do with it. All in all, I’d say comparing the two runners is apples and oranges. They’re both great talents, but to say that Johnson has been more impressive than Tomlinson this season is pure crap.

Last but not least, it seems KC Rookie Defensive Lineman Tamba Hali has gone on the record as saying the Chargers are all soft and cuddly. That’s all I’m going to say about that. Read the article. Go to Hell, KC, you’re Cut. And you’ll be forgotten by the rest of the league by Monday! My Favorites, the Bolts, will see to that. Go Bolts!!!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is Blogust saying "CJ, stop screwing with the comment settings." Go Chargers!

Anonymous said...

If you really want to get fucking pissed off, read this article by T.J. Simers of the LA Times. Simers goes on a nonsensical rant about the Chargers being destined to lose because their coach had less talented teams in past playoffs. Yeah, it's incredible fucking bullshit. But it'll be fun to taunt LA once we do win the Super Bowl.

http://tinyurl.com/ycsors

CJ said...

Blogust, bite me. I didn't change anything. This stupid thing hates me. You don't have to really bite me, that's a joke.

And, we could be facing a bit tougher team this weekend with the extra motivation of losing their owner who was quite beloved within their organization and the league. As discussed with Max last night, if KC was in another division, Herm Edwards would be the only weak factor preventing me from liking them.

Maximum Colossus said...

I heard about that Simers crap, but that guy's just a blowhard about everything. He holds a special hatred for San Diego because we canned his ass from his beat job down here years ago. Ass hole can sure hold a grudge.

And yeah, I could like the Chiefs if they were in the NFC. But they're not, so I don't.

Bummer about Hunt, though. Seemed like one of the better guys in the league.