The Quick Hits...

Okay, it’s time to bring the awesome. I’ve suffered enough indignation of late to not be able to stand for it a minute longer. I’ve been accused of a lot of awful things in my life, some of which were deserved, some of which were merely circumstance of a Jaegermister Bud Light induced stupor and some of which were just plain unfair. UNFAIR! I did in no such way prevent Mr. Douchey here (a.k.a. Max Colossus) from meeting the gloriousness of Lady Chargers, in fact I even extended an opportunity for the potential rendezvous with Pom Poms. Yet, my mere presence is not anchovies on a hook to tuna in this case and my attempt was resoundly and righteously declined. I’d have done the same had the roles been reversed, yet I will stand and defend myself against such allegations that I never intended to facilitate a meetup. I’ve done my best, it’s not my fault that I happened on incredible luck and Mr. Douchey did not. Get Luckier Fuck Ass... try something different like stroking a rabbit’s foot for a change. On to the randomness that is the Quick Hits...Middle Finger Edition...

-I’d like to extend my middle finger to The Murdering Crows for potentially angering the Saber Toothed Kitty Kats last weekend. The sound pummeling they handed out surely has made the Kitty Kats crazy like a 35 year old single female in Southern California. We need to watch our backs this weekend boys...

-I’d also like for the Lambs of Missouri to share the delight of my middle finger this fine Veteran’s Observation Day. If you had managed to not cough up piggy three times in the first half maybe you would have made it a game against the Squaws and helped turn our division into a two team race. But alas, the Lambs are still a festering 107 degree portapotty of a football program. Eat Balls Leonard Little you failed two time murderer.

-Middle Finger of the Week Award- To all of the major corporations that employ our finest citizens for not observing Veteran’s Day on an 80 degree November Friday in San Diego. You are all Communist Nazi Terrorist Freedom Killers. These guys will fill you in.

-Middle Finger of the Month Award- To the local establishment that will remain nameless (for now) that we around here frequent for the footballing glory of the Bolts. A San Diego icon has been reduced by mongoloid dipshit bonerfaces into a Bronco rallying site. WARNING TO MANAGEMENT: This trend of flying Donkey flags and volume for their games while wearing your Bolt Jerseys is beyond intolerable. I will have my vengeance upon thee. It will involve duct tape, super glue, poo and flames, and that’s just before breakfast. You will suffer, this promise I make to you. You will remain unlinked for now. DO NOT FORCE MY HAND!!!

-A Note to Chris Carter:

Dear Mr. Carter,

Fuck You.

Sincerely,
My Middle Finger.

Mr. Fuckwipe declared during that shitbox hour masquerading as football knowledge on HBO that the Chargers are chasing the Blow Job Horses for first place in the AFC West. And here I sit in all of my ignorance thinking that race was tied. To then hitch your hoopty to the Boltmobile with your “Kryptonite to Older Homo Quarterback’s Superman” comment does not redemption make. You’ll always be Montana’s bitch.

-Places my middle finger likes this one, this guy, and this brilliance.

-A Wholehearted Middle Finger extends itself to the Donkey Bitches that are still hanging on to the years that were Elway. How dare you come at me with an Elway jersey on with your pork flavored hot shit breath after you dumped to the better Pony squad? You are lucky you are only getting a middle finger, hamburger tits.

Well, that felt good. My finger is sore. It has been whored out quite well this morning. Let’s Go Bolting shall we?!!!!!