Monday, November 06, 2006

First Half Report Card...



We are eight games in and to date and at this the half way point, I have refrained from bashing my skull into tiny pieces as a result of the first half of the season. Sorry to all of the fans that have suffered through a poor first half, I'm looking at you Raiders people and I've seen enough of that ugly bunch. Let's wrap up the first half of the 2006 season shall we report card style...and that chick is (or was) a schoolteacher in Florida, prior to these pictures coming out for the U.S. Bikini team or some shit... I swear I miss school.

-F- (And just because this happened 5 minutes ago... The commentary this year on Nationally Televised Broadcasts across the board has been atrocious. An example of this you ask? Joe Thiesmann just informing me that if the Raiders were to throw the ball to Randy Moss say 5 times deep each game, he would catch 2 of them. "The percentages would be in their favor." Joe says. Uh, 40%? Not in your favor. And, on a related note, the reason there was no running commentary during this week's game, four words, Gus Johnson and Steve Tasker. Forgive me. Five words.

-F- to the Highlight Programs. Between the "All the Way Up" Inside the NFL, and the ESPN funky bunch, there are few if any Charger highlights even when LTD goes for nearly 200 yards on the ground and multiple touchdowns for consecutive weeks. I want to strike Boomer in the forhead repeatedly with a white hot spoon.

-A+++ to these guys. They do the lord's work.

-A+++ to MJD for doing the live running diary with new and improved dysfunctional thinking so I didn't have to.

-F+ to the Las Vegas oddsmakers. I believe you are to share some of the blame for the uncertainty that is running roughshod through the league.

-F to the new crop of "fantasy owners" that have filled my days and nights with their woeful tales of not starting Seattle's defense while losing their week by 62 points. Fuckasses.

-B to the group on the field known as our secondary. The penalties are down a bit, and you appear to have less gaps this year than Michael Strahan's mouth. I'm feeling a bit generous with this grade, but an improvement is an improvement.

-A+ once again to the running game. Headed up by LTD, and supplemented nicely by The Burner and enforced by Lo Neal. Solid group that will continue to get solid grades.

-B+ to the Quarterback. I couldn't have asked for anything else from him in the first half. He is two badly coached games from being undefeated in his first year as a starter. I can live with that.

-C- to Marty and all the gang that are connected via the Motorola earmuffs each Sunday. Yes, the coaches. Game planning seems to be lacking this season, we seem to need halftime every week to make adjustments and then we come out swinging. I'm sick of not looking like a prepared football team in the first half. Playing only the second 30 minutes of football games isn't going to cut it fucksticks.

And the final A+ goes toward the collective "inspiration" for the year...

3 comments:

Unknown said...

I don't think enough has been said about the receivers.

CJ said...

Okay. We have 'enough' receivers. They're all good and all very underrated. Which is the way we like them around here. Don't tell anyone that they get an A for the first half...

Anonymous said...

Yes, really. It was and with me.