The Cut.

Let’s get right to who’s on the bubble, shall we? It’s me. I’m in danger of getting cut for not having posted word one on that ridiculous Charger game on Sunday. Sure, I’ve been monumentally hung-over for the last two days. Absolutely, I’ve been worked like a dog by my employers. But excuses are like ass-holes; I have two. Rest assured, I will touch on that game in great detail, hopefully later today. And not only did I bone out on the Chargers, I totally pied out on putting up a midseason report card. Of course, I was going to grade every team until I actually took a good look at them. Wow, you grade that mess. Anyway, you have my sincerest apologies and it probably won’t happen again. I hope Holly Valance (above) helps to ease your pain.

So, who get’s the real cut? Dan Dierdorf, that’s who. Awe, screw it, announcers in general. Now, I know I’m not being terribly original here, but I haven’t really ever touched on it in this forum. It’s sad that the announcers have become such shills for the NFL product. If they're not interviewing celebrities, they’re upholding the NFL's moral code. This became apparent when Joe Buck decided to apologize to all of us impressionable football fans for Randy Moss’ gross display at Lambeau field a couple of years back. Up yours, Joe Buck, you have no right to your job. Apologize for that, ass wad! But, Dierdorf, during the Chargers game, was out of control. If you would have told me that an ex-football player from the 1970s would be calling for fines and suspensions over a play like that, I would have called you face!

I’ll be the first to admit, when I saw that guy from the Bengals (Geathers?) lay out Trent Green a couple months back, my initial reaction was something along the lines of, “Wow, they’re allowed to kill people now?” But after viewing the footage eighty bazillion times, I came to the same conclusion as most people who know anything about football did. If anything, Geathers was trying to avoid killing Green. Sure, he was there to lay the wood to him, but it could have been savage if Geathers hadn’t tried to let up some. The only thing wrong with McCree’s hit on Houshmanzedah was that it was early. Really early. But that happens in football. Now the NFL will fine him, and they’ll be able to say, “What? Even Dan Dierdorf said he was head hunting.” And people will buy that bullshit, because most people are too stupid to realize that just because some other idiot is willing to pay him, it doesn’t mean that Dan Dierdorf isn’t distracted by shiny things.

In summation, fuck you NFL and your network fluffers! I’m onto your hypocrisy. You ask for the intensity, the size and the big hits and in turn you penalize the very things you covet. And now you have your network stoolies like Buck and Dierdorf selling your bullshit to the masses, but I’ know better. Of course, if you gave me an option where I could just hear the sounds of the game with absolutely no color or commentary whatsoever, I might be willing to stand idly by and let you get away with it. What’s that you say? There is such an option? Oh right, but who can afford a ticket?