Friday, October 29, 2004

Quick Hits, and Rats...

O.K. so a seagull is almost like a hummingbird right? Let’s see if you can follow this logic stream that leads to a Bolt victory this weekend of the dead. While piloting my very favorite vehicle for truck parties (ask my colleague) I encountered three ravenous winged rats manifesting themselves as seagulls. These three rats in particular were devouring the remains of something looking like it once resembled a food product, as they were binging like an Ethiopian at a Vegas buffet. I surveyed the scene, made my choice and gassed the beast in order to fulfill the hummingbird prophecy. One went left, one escaped right, and the third made nice with the bumper and then did a check of my transfer case to make sure I wasn’t leaking any transmission fluid. A quick check of the rearview mirror saw a rat imitating a gymnast on a tumbling run. Dazed, the rat regained consciousness and flew off unscathed. Attempted murder by Chevrolet thwarted, but positive signs for the Bolts I say. As Seagulls are the rats of the sea, and Pirates are nothing more than the same, the Bolts are going to run over the Raiders this weekend. So be it…

Nice Thursday treat tonight as Ladainian was on the Jim Rome show tonight. All talk focused on his love for the Chargers and for a time like many I thought his feelings would eventually dwindle for a team that didn’t put a quality product on the field. But, “Hoss” convinced me that he truly loves San Diego, believes in the system and is excited to win a Big Bowl here. There will be some big time glass raising for “Hoss” this weekend. He also commented on the question of who got the better of his draft day trade for the “Quarteringback” in Atlanta, his response, “I am sure Atlanta loves Mike Vick.” Well, we here are pretty darned okay with the trade “Hoss”. Pretty darned okay.

Time for the Quick Hits:

1) “Hoss” pointed out that his groin is still a bit overused and is just shy of survival mode until the bye week which is two weekends away. So, the onus falls on one Jesse “The Best Backup in the League” Chatman who is sure to see some carries this weekend. So we go to prop bet numero uno: Chatman touchdowns vs. Brees six pointers. I say if Chatman can win this inter-team battle, the Bolts make rat food out of the Pirates.

2) Far be it for me to dwell on things past, but the Bolts made a valiant effort at hoarding their timeouts last weekend. They actually had some, all of them in fact, at the end of both halves. Guess what? They were able to stop the clock, used the timeouts effectively and came away with the win. All I am saying is that if there are no timeouts left, look for the Bolts to be behind and struggling for the win.

3) Another no brainer here, turnovers. Turnovers. Turnovers. None turnovers for us do we need. “Skipper” has been very good as of late by throwing the ball to the right team. Ladainian had the one unheard of fumble last week. It had been something like three years since he had lost one. So let it be said that we need to pick “Tom” this week and then convert those cocktails into points. My call, whoever wins the turnovers wins the contest.

4) The Antonio Gates. Enough said. Well, not yet. He is steadily making a case to be a favorite Bolt of mine. “First Down” Gates. Follow the Yellow Computer Generated Line my friend. Ha! I love it.

5) Prop Bet Numero Dos: Nate Kaeding. Over/Under on missed field goals: ½. I’ve got the under.

6) Lastly, I have been told that in Italian tradition if you get bird poop on you it’s good luck. A Boston Sports writer commented on this before the Yank-Me’s series right after he got a shoulder full of crap. After learning that it was good luck in the Italian tradition, he didn’t wash the T-Shirt and hid it from his wife. The Red Sox wind up doing the impossible, beating the Yank-Me’s, winning the Big Series and everyone eats, drinks, and is merry. The question then, is bird parts/feathers from a winged rat on your bumper the equivalent? I say yes…

Your court.

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