Well, it looks like we might beat the blackout after all. There’s been a twenty-four hour extension to the ticket deadline and that leads me to believe somebody has something cooking. Hurray, I get to live. So here is your game analysis and prediction.
Now I could go into all the factors such as, San Diego and Oakland always play each other hard. Or this is a trap game. Or how Kerry Collins started to look like he was getting it last week, and our pass defense is suspect. But I’m not going to. We will slaughter this plummeting Raider team. We will ram the ball down their throats at will, and they will have no idea what hit them. “The Stupefying One,” groin injury and all, will have a field day with this team. He will be on the bench by the second half and Chatman will come in with another big hold. McCardell will get his first and second touchdowns as a Charger, and Antonio will continue to be Antonio, collecting first downs the way I collect unsolicited opinions.
The Raider fans can try to make Qualcomm/The Murph their own for this Halloween match-up (Which is both redundant and fitting I might add), but to no avail. Sure, people will people killed and villages will be pillaged, but our valiant team shall rise above, unflinching in the face of accountants dressed as Rob Zombie video rejects and Gangsters dressed as…well, Gangsters. So beware Raider Nation, because the gallant champions of Raider-Hater Nation shall rise up and smite thee down to a manageable 2-6. How cute you’ll be. Waah! Waah!
Ahhh. Perhaps I get carried away. Perhaps I forget that just a few short weeks ago, I myself was unconvinced that this team could win. And the Raiders do play us hard. We’re division rivals for crying out loud. We could even lose! Oh no, I’m getting scared! What was I thinking?! The Raiders are good! They’re gonna come in here…there gonna come in here and they’re gonna…there gonna! Nah, they suck. Go Bolts!