Well, I don't want to make a habit of it but we here at this site are enormous Padre fans as well as SuperBolt supporters. Today was no different...
I'm a bit under the weather so I gave away my front row seats to tonight's game against the Pirates. It's the Pirates. I love baseball more than any human possibly should, but, it's cold, and courtesy of Southwest Airlines I'm ill, and yes, I'm an enormous bleeding hatchet wound.
So, I'm watching the game, reading. Nursing this death version of the flu mixed with a minor case of the e coli, and Chris Young is tossing a no no. The announcers, in all of their ineptitude have been blathering on about how the Padres have played 6,019 games in their history without ever having a no no. Keep blabbing idiots. You surely won't jinx him.
Into the ninth, with a perfect game*, the first out is recorded. Mind you, my front row seats are being occupied by someone who not only doesn't appreciate what's going on fully, but hasn't as of yet, with one out in the ninth, even had one beer. For shame.
Who strides to the plate? Joe Randa. Former Padre. Great. Just don't pull one of those Fuck Ass Phil Nevin routines when he played for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim via Huntington Beach Representing the Disney Conglomorate that is ESPN Nazis, and hit a home run to break up Sterling Hitchcock's bid for a no hitter. The last realistic attempt I can remember. Chris falls behind and Mr. Fuck Ass Version 2.0, knocks one out of the home run stingy doghouse, ending our closest opportunity for baseball immortality that I have seen in some time. Did I mention I gave my front row seats for this game away tonight?
Fuck. That's all I've got. Fuck. Fuck you Phil Nevin, and now, really, Fuck You Joe Randa. Thank you for taking a gigantic exploding diarrhea in my Cheerios you Fuck Ass.
6,020 and counting...
*one walk, who was then caught stealing. He faced the minimum after 25 batters. Ridiculous. Congrats Chris. Get Drunk tonight.