Eeyah. It’s been almost a week and I’m drawing a bit of a blank here (like that’s something new). What the hell, though? I’ll give it a shot (meaning, look out cause I’m gonna wing this SOB).
It seems many people (and I won’t name names) started to get awfully spoiled by some pretty big blowouts in the middle of the season. I mean, if you absolutely spank the Saints and the Raiders in your own house, you should be able to destroy anybody, anywhere, anytime. Hmm. Nope. Sorry. Too many worried faces surrounding me on Sunday. Too many Charger fans already forming the words, “I knew it. We suck,” with their lips, practicing in their heads just how they were going to say it for the best possible effect. And where did all these Denver fans get my cell phone # (You got yours, didn’t you boys?)? Now, I’m not going to blame these “Bolts faithful” for being ready. I won’t condemn them as they brace for the collapse, because we’ve seen it before. 5-2 to 5-11. 6-1 to 8-8. I, too, am practically counting on some Charles Schultzian punch line to this season. But, you know what? Lucy be damned, I’m going to try and kick that ball. I am not going to fear the fourth quarter collapse, the defensive penalty or the special teams breakdown. This team is for real, and we are not going to drop the ball against 3-6 and 3-7 teams, so quit acting like we are! Thank you.
Now on to likes and dislikes.
Likes: Steak, the color Blue, Antonio Gates and his smorgasbord of touchdown goodness, boobs (on women), puppies, Drew Brees’ stat line since last time we played Denver (18 TDs, 1 INT, 69% Comp.), the movie “Blade Runner”, that one chick, Donnie Edwards’ magical journey to interception land and Jack Daniels Whiskey.
Dislikes: Asparagus soda (it’s a real product), the color purple ( I’m so over purple), LaDainian’s groin (lets’ face it, he was the only one falling down on that turf all day), boobs (on men(I know you didn’t see that coming)), rabid bears, Jake Plummer’s career success vs. the Chargers (which I don’t have numbers on, but I’m pretty certain ain’t pretty for us), the movie “John Carpenter’s Ghosts of Mars”, that other chick, Nate Kaeding’s “Here, Have a Heart Attack” party and Cutty Sark (just kidding, I’ve never even had Cutty Sark. No one has).
So what’s in store for this week? Real scary stuff. This week there will be no hard feelings towards those of you who want to cover your eyes, bang your heads on the bar, and try out some new swear words (you’ve got to use them a lot before they sound natural). Denver is mad, and this could be their season. They aren’t terribly consistent, but they’re capable of being dangerous. We need to be focused and determined because there is no margine for error in a game of this magnitude. Add the word ‘magnitude’ to my list of likes. Scoreboard Sunday…Charger 21, Broncos 20.
Just kidding! We’re gonna beat their asses you Nancies! Go Bolts!!! (That’s three exclamation points, so you know I mean it)