Dilemmas surround us each and every day and it is how you handle these dilemmas that define you as a person.
Allow me to explain…
And so it is another day off to the grind of what is the daily life. Feeling particularly hungry this fine but marginally freezing a.m. I opt for some early breakfast. As I obey and follow the single file path to all that is breakfast I am struck by what can only be described as well… how do you say this tactfully? A super hot smokin’ chick. No, really. That is about the only way I could articulate what was before the eyes. Just smokin’ hot. She gathers up her morning treat and begins to walk by, back outside to start what is her version of the grind, when I notice something particularly amazing. She has a noticeable limp. Not some sort of messed up an ankle over the weekend sprain from whatever activities smokin’ hot chicks participate in, but a full blown gimping permanent style disfigurement of one of her limbs. Now, I am for all intents and purposes perplexed. Super smokin’ hot. Limp. Super smokin’ hot. Limp. What the hell kind of uncool trick/conundrum is that? Whatever do you do?
As close as I can figure this is about on par with the Smokin’ hot chick with the not so good from the neck up region that some describe as the “butter syndrome”. Another true conundrum. What is a guy supposed to do in these situations? Do you go for the less than attractive neck up girl or the permanent disfigurement that may or may not allow you handicap access at the mall? I am stumped… and as the Cleveland Browns have proven, they are too.
To say the the Browns have problems is like saying that Ron Artest has anger management issues. Where to begin with this sorry group imitating a football team? I got it, let’s start at maybe the most important part of the football team. The quarterback. It seems as if the browns have the equivalent of my early morning breakfast dilemma at that position.
Jeff Garcia vs. Luke McCown. Whatever do you do here? I am not alluding to this week of course as we know Garcia is playing the role of the limper with the sore knee. So, that makes McCown (Version 2.0) the “butter syndrome” quarterback. It’s the best of a bad situation. This team is going down in flames this week to our football team and nothing is going to stop that shot of a meteor impacting the Charger Charter on the way to Ohio. The future of this team is to what I speak. I guess the question is, “Jeff Garcia, the future?” I don’t really know. On one hand you can say that he has had a better than average career and has performed steadily in the past. On the other, he is 34 and may have shortened his career a bit this year playing and running for his life for that god awful football team in the Dog Pound. And suddenly why am I trying to solve the problems of the Cleveland Browns football team? It’s Cleveland for cryin’ out loud. But, if there was by some grace of an existing entity that might make them inclined to make a move to obtain our rookie has yet to play quarterback, I am all ears. I know that’s a winning the lottery, being attacked by a shark while getting struck by lightning, and tagging Lindsay Lohan all in the same day long shot, but hey, it could happen. I am merely trying to point out that with some hard work and determination there are some deals out there that could be made to make all interested parties happy. That’s all I am tryin’ to say.
That being said, I am off to go buy some quick picks on my way to the beach wearing a chum bucket and chain mail wetsuit. Lindsay, the rest is up to you…