Tuesday, November 23, 2004

If They Were They Probably Sucked...

Nice work here. Although I have a couple of points to contend and then we can move on. First, I will never be “that guy”, I don’t want to seem like a naysayer or that all is lost to the doomsday prophecy. It’s not. I just expected more from the team that I have seen “more” from. We got worse. Whether it’s from the hangover, or a more prepped Raider team, or whatever, if we truly are a playoff team and we are finishing up with a pretty tough schedule, we can’t play like that ever again. Ever.

On a side note, the definition of “that guy” is the guy on the beach in the way to small speedo dragging a boogie board behind him with Ben Wallace’s afro sprouting out of every conceivable exit to his swimwear. “The guy” inevitably gets caught in an undertow and has to be dragged out of the ocean like a dripping wet mop by some unfortunate lifeguard. Now, back to what I wanted to say…

My team by team analysis of the N.F.L. through week 11:

Teams That Really Suck:
San Francisco, really no other way to describe what is going on here besides poetic justice. By the way, where are all the loudmouth niner fans now?

Oakland, really bad football team. They have their work cut out for them. Can’t stop the run, can’t really run an offense.

New Orleans, these guys played a horrible football game this Sunday. Aaron Brooks is just horrible. He makes worse decisions than all of the Indiana Pacers combined.

Miami, Really not good on offense. Defense isn’t that far away. Abysmal offensively. Or offensively abysmal.

Dallas, You have a 52 year old quarterback and you are 3-7. I think it’s over, let the young guy start.

Teams That Just Suck a Little Less:
Carolina, just destroyed by injury. Go git ‘em next year.

Cleveland, they should be in the above category. They really suck. I mean really. If Garcia is getting benched you know something is really wrong.

Cards, as long as they play eight games on the road they are in trouble. If they change the schedule to give them 16 home games they might go 10-6.

Bears, Ryan Leaf might be able to get a tryout here next year.

Bills, 62 year old crippled quarterback. Stop the run and you stop the Bills. Bledsoe should be getting sacked more than a call girl in Vegas…

The Almighty Rams, they sacked Bledsoe zero times. That team is quitting before our eyes.

Bengals, Titans, Lions, these are the kind of teams that when they win you aren’t really surprised, but the few wins just manage to stick out more than their unspectacular losses. Really not good programs, with a miniscule amount of potential. But hey, it’s a start…

Teams That Suck But Shouldn’t:
Kansas City,
if you can’t stop anyone you have to score 73 points. Until they figure out how to do that they remain here. Can beat any team in any week with a healthy running back.

Washington, Good defense, good running back. No quarterback. Receivers who drop the ball. They are not that far away from success.

Texans, young and talented. They just need some time to figure out how to play football. Like Brittney Spears, they will either achieve massive success or totally derail and kill everyone on board.

Part II tomorrow…

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