Thursday, November 04, 2004

Go Whistle Dixie Out Your...

Focus Time. New Orleans is coming to town and I don’t think they are bringing Mardi Gras’ finest qualities with them. This might be the biggest game of the season to date for the Bolts as we attempt to get to the week off with a three over five hundy record. Getting to vacation day with those numbers is nothing short of spectacular for this squad and will do wonders for the prep work that needs to be done to tackle the “Scariest Team in the AFC West” twice in the second half. Yep, The Priest and the Injuns. Twice. Umm…Suggestions, anyone?!?

That being said, this is a very winnable game for the Bolts. In fact, it is another head scratching, “Can this one even be close?” moment for me. The Good Guys are obviously capable of putting up big numbers in the “Makes the Cannon go Boom” column of importance on the home turf. The big question is can the ‘Aints (sorry, that’s all I got) do anything to stop them. From what I have read from the “experts”, the key is to take “Best Ever” out of the game. According to said “experts” if Tomlinson can’t run, and The Skipper can’t find him on the short screens, Skip’s rhythm goes white guy in a dance contest and the Bead Hoarding Southerners win this one going away.

Hmmm, stop Tomlinson from running and catching passes and they have a shot. Gee, that seems pretty reasonable. Sounds easy enough to do. Take Tomlinson out of the game completely. Okay, short of a Kerrigan/ Harding moment behind the goalposts in warm ups, how exactly is that done? Well no matter, Jesse Chatman has proven time and time again that he is absolutely useless, so if they do go the Ice Queen route on “Best Ever” we are through. How do these guys get paid for this garbage? Do they just spit out whatever nonsensical thoughts that are running through their Dyanabol laced brains and see who swallows it hook , line, and sinker? Jesse will get some face time due to the recurring groin, and he will do just fine as he has done all the season long.

So with Tomlinson neutralized and Skip’s rhythm shattered like the hopes of the French during the election, wherever will the Bolts turn? Anyone? Oh, I got this one, no wait I do. Ummm…Hmmmm…Let me think just for three seconds (really that’s all I’ve got, after that the three remaining brain cells revolt and start fighting each other)…. Got it!!! Keenan McCardell, E. Parker, and First Down/Touchdown Mr. Gates.

Let's reiterate shall we? Just take Tomlinson out of the game completely, stop his more than adequate backup Jesse, and then halt The Skipper from finding any one of his three favorite point making friends on our home field. Damn those Saints. Oh boy, now I' ve done it. They have got me so terrified I think I might have just made a deposit in the old shorts, I need a safety wipe . I think I better wear a Depends to the game.

Quick Hits and Super Fun, blackout status update (not looking good) and tailgating info all tomorrow.

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