Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Cowboys vs. VaGiants

So, I guess I'll throw out a few words and a quick prediction on the big NFC East Match-up tonight. First off, the NFL moved the game up a spot because of the DNC, which should be enough to get you all to vote for Romney. Effing terrible. The Thursday opening game is such a sack of shit to begin with, and now we're opening the season on a Wednesday! Are you ready for some Wednesday Night Football! If your team is unlucky enough to get this horrible starting date, get ready for a week and a half of no football for you! Fun! Play all the games on Sunday, please. Just eliminate all the other nights, even Monday. One day. Whole shootin' match. Glorious. Why do we even watch this sport anymore? This sport is run by people who hate you and want to rob you of your money. They are deplorable. They moved the draft to primetime so they could get more advertiser money. No one else in the world ever called for that, ever. No one. And no one needs a stutter start bullshit game 3 days before the season actually starts. Sorry, four damn days this year. So, enjoy this football game that will more than anything remind you that you have four more days until football starts. Five if you're a Chargers fan, because the NFL hates Chargers' fans most of all. And I don't totally blame them. HAng around in the UT comments section for a few hours and tell me you want to be identified as a Chargers fan.

Anyway, there's a game I hear. I don't really know if either of these teams actually did anything in the offseason. Honestly, I don't even know if they drafted anyone. I mean, I guess the Giants shed Mario Manningham and Brandon Jacobs and there was something about Jason Witten's spleen, but mostly these teams seem to be the exact same teams they were before. Which makes sense because all of the gutless sports jerks in the world are just picking the VaGiants to win in a hotly contested match-up, just like they have the last four times or whatever. But I beg to differ. Look, the VaGs do typically start the season out okay, but they never really give anyone any reason to believe they are a contender until you suddenly look up and realize that they just won the Superbowl again. I swear Eli Manning could be the world's greatest jewel thief. Or at least a top notch pickpocket. So easy to overlook. The Cowboys, on the other hand, make a living out of force feeding false hope to their ridiculous fanbase. This is just the kind of game they come out and win to say to their fans, "This is gonna be our year!" while saying to the rest of us, "Look how far we're gonna tumble before this is all said and done." That's why I'm calling this one Cowboys 34, VaGiants 30

Let the season begin! And then sort of stall out and sputter back to life in four days...

1 comment:

Cowboys said...

The Cowboys, on the other hand, make a living out of force feeding false hope to their ridiculous fanbase. Great stuff