Saturday, November 13, 2010

And Now It's Time...

For the easiest part of every NFL blogger's job. The picks.

Baltimore @ Atlanta
I think Atlanta is going to go heavy in the air against the Ravens and Michael Turner's only going to get me 4 points. Lame, but I actually did pick this game right. Honest. i have documentation, just not on me. Ravens 21, Falcons 26 (Uncanny, isn't it?)

Detroit @ Buffalo
This is a stupid pick, but if Buffalo's going to win one, it has to be this one, right? And they have to win one. Right? Ugh, come on you fucking Buffalos! Lions 27, Buffalo 28

Minnesota @ Chicago
Say it with me, Chicago is awful. Felt good didn't it. Minnesota seems poised to pull their heads out of their asses and cause soime sort of weird coach/quarterback controversy thing. You realize that if this team bounces back and goes deep again, Favre will rule the offseason yet again, right? Vikings 23, Bears 13

NY Jets @ Cleveland
Everybody loves the Browns here, and after taking down two very hyped teams you can't really blame them. However, New Orleans hasn't looked right all year and New England highlighted the blunder of letting Randy Moss go last week. The Jets are legit. Except when they're not. But this week they are. Jets 30, Browns 17

Cincy @ Indy
Cincy is desperate and Manning's Colts look like they are falling to Earth like a rain of bullets in Chula Juana during a Cinco de Mayo celebration. Still, Cincy is desperate because they are bad. And Indy has a long fall too before they get to merely bad. Bengals 24, Colts 31

Houston @ Jacksonville
I cannot for the life of me remember who I picked in my pool for this game. A month ago it was a no-brainer. Jax? Awful. Texans? Ready to take the league by storm and be the team that everybody wants them to be. Now I think they both just kinda suck. Sort of. Bad year to live in Texas, though. Both the football clubs blow and the baseball team got whacked in the Series by the fucking Gayville VaGiants. I'm taking the home squad here. Texans 20, Jags 34

Tennessee @ Miami
Two more teams that are just kind of good sometimes except when they're not. Maybe Randy Moss brings some excitement to this game, but I doubt it. Snoozefest. Titans 17, Fins 20

Carolina @ Tampa Bay
Tampa is surprisingly likeable this year and I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the organization after they obliterated the Raiders in the Superbowl some years ago. Oh, and Carolina sucks and they are riddled with injuries. And they sucked when the whole team was healthy. Panthers 14, Bucs 28

KC @ Denver
KC is better this year but they are due some plummetin'. Josh McDaniels may already be playing for his job at this point after making about a thousand bad personnel decisions since landing in Denver. The super desperate team makes the AFC West scary mediocre on Sunday. Chiefs 24, Broncos 27

Seattle @ Arizona
Is Kurt Warner back yet? No. Don't care then. Seahawks 13, Cards 20

Dallas @ NY VaGiants
Dallas, you are terrible. VaGiants, you are for real. Like, Superbowl for real, maybe. It's going to be fun watching NY run up the score. You might see a forfeit. Cowboys 6, VaGiants 42

St. Louis @ San Francisco
The Rams are the feel okay story of the year! And Frisco is gay. Electric car gay. Rams 24, 49ers 16

New England @ Pitt
Well, New England, you nearly got Randy Moss back. But you didn't. Pittsburgh is going to eat your quarterback. Pats 9, Steelers 20

Philadelphia @ Washington
Unless Washington's game plan is to put the ole Malachi Crunch on Mike Vick again, I don't think they have a chance. However, that may very well be their game plan. Iggles 35, Skins 24

There you have it. What else do you wan?, We're done here. Go look at some porn or something.

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