Ugh. Picks Again?

My heart is not in it, but I'm really dedicated to documenting my ineptitude at picking games for anybody who might actually read this thing. So here goes.

Tennessee @ NY VaGiants
This one seems too easy to call, but I think the Giants actually show up here. Why? No idea. Tennessee 17, VaGaints 20

Cincinnati @ Carolina
I have no idea whether Cincy is a good team or not, but I do know that the kid from Notre Dame is a borderline tard. Cincy 17, Carolina 10

Pittsburgh @ Tampa Bay
So, why hasn't anyone tried to snap Palowhatsit's leg yet? Tampa is in over their heads this week. But Pittsburgh can't score. Pitt 13, Tampa 9

Buffalo @ New England
Looks like New England is going to pick on some teams this year, and not pick on some teams this year. How's that for analysis? Buffalo 17, New England 34

Cleveland @ Baltimore
Time for Baltimore to stop being cute and hand Ray Rice the ball. Poor Cleveland. Cleveland 6, Baltimore 27

San Francisco @ KC
No fucking clue what happens here. I liked KC going into the season and their record reflects my amazing judgment, but I don't believe in them at all. Frisco really gave NO a game, but they find ways to lose. Frisco 20, KC 21

Dallas @ Houston
Dallas sucks, Houston does not. End of story. Dallas 20, Houston 37

Detroit @ Minnesota
Detroit is fun to watch, but if Minnesota can't get it together this week, the Favre retirement watch begins early. Detroit 17, Minnesota 30

Atlanta @ NO
Atlanta is a sexy pick here, but I tend to think NO has been playing down to their opponents so far. This feels like a 6 TD effort by Brees day to me. Atlanta 28, New Orleans 45

Washington @ St. Louis
Washington does just enough not to lose against bad teams, and the Rams don't know how to win. Washington 20, Rams 17

Philly @ Jacksonville
The Michael Vick train keeps rolling and he love steamrolling dogs like the Jags! Harf! Harf! So funny. Philly 27, Jags 20

Indy @ Denver
Peyton Manning does not like having a loss before December and everybody has to pay. Indy 31, Denver 24

Oakland @ Arizona
Yuck. I actually like Oakland here. But I don't love 'em. Oakland 24, Zona 16

San Diego @ Seattle
It's supposed to rain, which does not bode well for us. But I have to give them credit for demolishing the Jags last week, even if they are the Jags. This one will be tight. Bolts 20, Seattle 17

NY Jets @ Miami
Jets are not for real. Miami is for real. Jets 13, Miami 21

Green Bay @ Chicago
Ugh, everybody in the media has already jumped back on the Cutler bandwagon and Philip Rivers is a big, whiny malcontent yet again. So 2008 up in here. I don't buy it. Green Bay 30, Chicago 20

Let me leave you with this. A girl at my work invited me to join her $5 weekly pick'em league. No spread, winner takes the week. Sounds fun. Then she let's me know that since she set it up, she doesn't have to pay in. And that, ladies, is why men don't take you seriously when concerning manly things. Go Bolts!!!