Pick Away!

Ugh, been a rough week, so not too many posts. Sorry to anybody who might actually be checking this spot out. There's sure to be more after I see the highlights of today's game because I'm too cheap and/or broke to attend the game so I sure as hell ain't going to see it. I expect 4 or 5 more blackouts this year (That's racist! Sorry, been watching season 1 of 30 Rock...), so my yard sure look great by spring. Anyway, here's what's going to happen today.

Buffalo @ Green Bay
How do I not have a single Green Bay player on my fantasy team?! Who's their back-up tight end? Everybody gets to score today! Buffalo 9, Green Bay 34

Miami @ Minnesota
Trap game! Whatever that means. Minnesota has to get going this week, right? Right? Me thinks it not so easy. Miami 20, Minnesota 21

Kansas City @ Cleveland
I see people picking Cleveland here and I don't know why. Lost in Monday Night's contest appears to be the fact that KC was also playing in the rain. Matt Cassell comes out this week and KC shows why they might not be dominant, but they are going to be tougher than they were last year. Also, Cleveland? Please. KC 27, Cleveland 17

Chicago @ Dallas
I don't recall if Dallas chokes against the Bears the way they choke against the Redskins, but I doubt it. Both of these teams are not nearly as good as people want to believe they are. Hang this score on a Cutler INT. Chicago 17, Dallas 20

Arizona @ Atlanta
Kurt Warner was the best QB you have ever seen, even if you don't know it. The drop-off is nearly inconceivable. Atlanta gets on track. Arizona 13, Atlanta 30

Tampa Bay @ Carolina
Carolina really wanted to make a statement in their opener at New York. I doubt that statement was, "We don't really have a game plan." It should go better this time around. Carolina is Jeckyll and Hyde home and away. Which one plays football better again? Tampa Bay 16, Carolina 27

Philly @ Detroit
Stafford is hurt. Vick is playing for a QB controversy. If this was just about anybody but Detroit I'd expect Vick to end up looking silly. But it's not. Philly 28, Detroit 14

Baltimore @ Cincy
This could be a replay of Monday Night. In fact, I'm going to go with that. Baltimore 10, Cincy 9

Pittsburgh @ Tenessee
The Titans aren't going to do that against Pitts D. Pitts O is not going to do anything much against anybody until [insert rape joke here] gets back. Pittsburgh 10, Tennessee 7

Seattle @ Denver
Is Denver any better than San Francisco? No. Is Seattle as good as last week indicates? Also, no. But they're better than Denver. Seattle 17, Denver 14

St.Louis @ Oakland
Really? God, this looks bad. I expect Campbell to look a bit less Russell against the Rams, though. St. Louis 13, Oakland 20

Houston @ Washington
How does the other Texas team fair against the Redskins? Better, but they are also choke artists. They'll make this uglier and closer than anybody probably thinks. Houston 24, Washington 20

New England @ New York Jets
The Jets play well against one dimensional passing offenses. Don't ask me how I know. But the Pats are on a mission to prove that they are still elite, and you know what? They are. New England 27, Jets 10

New York VaGiants @ Indy
Oh, the Manning Bowl again. Oh, I don't care. Indy's D did not look good last week and I doubt they look a lot better against the NFL's luckiest jerks this week. But the offense will be out of control behind a pissed off regular season Peyton Manning. VaGiants 31, Indy 41

New Orleans @ Frisco
Uhh...Door's already a'closin' Frisco. You have no chance here. DOn't even show up. What's the point? New Orleans is going to want to make up the points they didn't score in the first game. And they're going to do it with TDs because they can't kick field goals. New Orleans 42, Frisco 17

Jacksonville @ San Diego
I gave my Bolts the benefit of the doubt in the first game because I felt I had to. From here on out I call it like I see it. Denver let Garrard play a mistake free game last week. I don't see our defense forcing any mistakes. He won't have to do much, though, because MJD should have his way with our defense. The Bolts offense will likely fix itself this week, because I'm looking out side and it's not raining, but it isn't going to be enough. Jags 30, Bolts 27 Please prove me wrong. I want to be nothing but a filthy naysayer, but I'm just so fucking smart!

There you go. Time to grab the kids college fund and turn it into a fortune. You're welcome!