Wednesday, September 08, 2010

T-Minus 20 Hours til Kickoff...

Seeing as how we are less than a day away from the opening kickoff of the 2010 season, it's time to do the scouting reports. One thing that I'm sure of, that no one else seems to be biting off at this point is the fact that we are not the same "Super Bowl" caliber squad from even one year ago. No fucking shit? Have you heard even one conversation from people in the "know" about the Super Bowl this year? Neither have I, and believe me, I know why...let me count the ways:


*Jamal Williams
*Vincent Jackson
*Marcus McNeil
*Kevin Ellison
*Antonio Cromartie
*LaDainian Tomlinson
*Shawne Merriman*(I know he's not gone "yet" but he's "hurt", hates the G.M. and has no contract.)

Replaced By:

*Ryan Matthews, Rookie albeit one that we are excited for.
*Brandon Dombrowski, Second Year San Diego State made spot starts last season
*Antonio Garay, Starting Nose Tackle, 4th year Boston College 17 Career Starts
*Cam Thomas, Rookie
*Antoine Cason, lost starting nickel position to the bench last year 4 Career Starts
*Stephen Gregory, 5th year Syracuse
*Larry English, 2nd year Northern Illinois
*Seyi Ajirotutu, Rookie Fresno State (What the fuck is a Seyi?)
*Nathan Vasher, Cut
*Jerome Williams, Cut

Now, I think it's safe to say that at many of the positions listed above we have suffered a measurable downgrade. However, if you read the Acee's and the Canepa's weekly diatribes you'll nary hear a word of these downgrades. What you will here is that expectations are high of these guys and they are making huge improvements! HUGE! They're totally not going to suck, or A.J. will just frame them with some prescription pills that aren't theirs after having the foresight to infer that they would run afoul of the law prior to their actual transgressions and expertly drafting their replacements. What a genius is that fuckin' guy? Why doesn't anyone ever write a story about him?

As you can see this "deep" team that all the pontificators in this town touted for the last four seasons is shallower than a Hilton sister with coke in her cunt. Mind you, I don't want to keep dwelling on the shortcomings that have not been addressed, but take another look. As Max so succinctly put it today in conversation, "The more I read about this team, the more I think we're fucked." For example, take Cason, a guy that was benched last season due to being fucking awful at covering space and or the opposing foe in nickel situations. He's started four fucking games in two seasons and now is thrust into the starting corner position replacing the Impregnator. Here's what people at that link are saying and believe me when I say this is about as negative as the language gets across the media:

"Antoine Cason; how will Cason handle stepping into the starting roll, with only 4 games started in his young career? He has averaged 2 interceptions a year in his first two years. With some pressure on Cassel he has the athleticism to start this season with just as many. However the Chiefs have some fast, experienced receivers and Cason will have to be on top of his game. He is moving out of the nickel role and will be able to do less free styling"

Free styling? Are you fucking kidding me? He "free styled" his way to the fucking bench last season. A coach at some point said to him he was far too fucking terrible at the nickelback position to even be on the fucking field anymore. This is now our starting cornerback opposite Quentin Jammer. Yeah, that secondary is far, far better than it was a year ago. Subtract Jamal Williams for yet another season and I think you'll find that we won't see an improvement in the pass rush that takes so much pressure off what I've long considered to be a mediocre at best secondary. And before you say something fucking idiotic like Eric Weddle is coming into his own, I had to listen to a Jets fan last night berate me about Shonn Greene trucking Weddle's corpse all the way to the end zone in the playoffs last year. Needless to say I won't remind you of the time he was celebrating his way to an excessive celebration personal foul on a play that replay ruled he didn't even make and guess what? I didn't even fucking need replay to see that not only didn't he make the play, replay only reveals that he's is fucking horrific at the safety position and he might actually be Jacob Hester. Max and I have discussed that point at fucking length and have actually obtained more evidence of actual fucking alien encounters, than ever seeing Hester and Weddle in the same frame.

God fucking dammit am I excited about football. And just to really shrink your asshole a few more notches, read this about the future of this great fucking game we give all our fucking time and money and attention to each fucking season. Read that and be fucking pumped for football. Seriously read it. It's the future of the CBA and the potential for a fucking lockout written in a way that even Norv can fucking figure out. Allegedly. He can allegedly figure it out.

Dear 2010 Season,

Hurry up and fucking start already. I hate your face and want you to fucking get cut in half by an eighteen wheeler you fucking asshole. Sorry. I love you football. Please hurry and deliver the kick in the blue balls you deliver me so timely every season.

Thanks in advance, and if you could, just don't take my quarterback until at least week 13, that'd be great.




Jeff said...

seriously dude you need help

CJ said...

With what do I need help? I seem to be doing just fine. Perhaps my attitude needs a slight adjustment. Should they meet (the team) my extraordinarily low expectations you shall see my attitude shift but I can say I'm not super optimistic if you couldn't tell.