I Might Have Preferred A Sexier Pick.

But...

So, I spent all day yesterday champing at the bit to put in my two cents regarding the coaching hires yesterday. Unfortunately, likely due to some internet porn related activity, my personal computer is all whack-sucky right now so I was forced to bide my time. And now, nearly 24 hours after first receiving the news, I’m glad I got a bit of a cooling off period. No offense to all of those Bolt fans out there who decided to just go ahead and throw a tizzy, I’ve been know to throw a doozy of a tizzy a time or two, but now is not the time for so much foot stamping and ship jumping.

Norv Turner. Who cares? I mean, do I like the hiring? No. Do I not like the hiring? Not really. This hiring inspires very little reaction in me at all. Sure, it doesn’t seem to make much sense, but it’s not exactly a surprise. AJ needed his guy who would never get lippy. That’s Norv Turner. Seriously, all of you who are concerned about Norv Turner being our coach need to remember that he is really more like the wooden mermaid mounted to our bow than an actual coaching entity on this team. The only way he’s going to be any worse than Marty Schottenheimer is if he doesn’t even get us to the playoffs, and as much so many of you are falling out of your chairs yelling, “Yes! Exactly,” if we miss the playoffs it won’t be because of Norv fucking Turner.

I’d be more concerned with how we’ll replace guys like Donnie Edwards and Terrence Kiel. I’m not saying that this is the exact same situation, but last time we opened up a couple of holes in a solid defense like that, it took years to recover.

I’d be more worried about the coaching dynamic between hiring two defensive coordinators to our staff. One of them went to the Super Bowl, and he won’t even be the coordinator for our team. That could lead to some strife in the film room.

I don’t miss Cam Cameron…yet. I was never too sold on that guy to begin with. Norv Turner has at least had a modicum of offensive success. Well that’s what I keep hearing, I guess, but it doesn’t really matter because I don’t think he could sabotage our fine offense a la Kevin Gilbride. In fact, I doubt you’ll be able to tell the difference next season and that means we’ll still see lot’s of points and amazing TBE highlights. If the other two guys can keep the defense on track, and plug those new holes, this team should truck right on along.

And if it doesn’t? Well, maybe we’ll get to run another megalomaniac GM who believes a little too much in his supposed genius out of town. What is it with the Spanos family and these kinds of guys anyway?

We’re gonna be fine. Go Bolts!!!

Hmm...Or maybe this team has finally just broken my will. Cause I could just say what I really think, which is that, since everyone in the world knows that Norv Turner sucks, he could win the Super Bowl and we could still get away with firing him after this season. Then we could hire Bill Cowher which will help endear the team to their new Los Angeles fan base. Yeah, it could be that. Here's something to take your mind off the pain.



That picture is like internet morphine.