Saturday, April 07, 2007
I'm Making Observations...
I realize that being a part of today's sports scene requires diligent fact checking, constantly perusing of the numbers, and operating your fantasy team as if you were actually a general manager and not some basement dungeon master. But, I think it's safe to say that simply watching games and observing the level of play will tell you a lot about a team and the quality of the product on the field, numbers sometimes be damned. I spent yesterday doing just that in between fits of vomiting and I came up with some noteworthy items. More Bullet Points... I love them so...
*The Bad News Bears reference from Thursday night was more apt than I had originally thought. During that debacle, as Termell "Sledge" Hammer (aptly coined by Max here) failed to take control of the situation and call off the surprisingly powerful of late Vegan, Max began humming that little diddy of a tune from the movie. The YouTube clip yesterday was never more fitting. I worry a bit about Sledge Hammer's defense, more on that in another post. Last night's home run was great, the 'Secret Pop' moniker that Mud and Matt have attempted must be murdered prior to it's acceptance by the masses. 'Sledge' is the nickname, get it right 'professionals'.
*Greg Maddux made his Padre debut last night and there's no nice way to say it, he looks fucking old. Not like shit yourself while piloting your walker to the early bird garden buffet, but definitely on the brink of adult diapertown. He was lobbing puss filled junk balls near the plate all night long, that surprisingly weren't pelted. "You put snot on the baseball?" High(Low)light of the night: Matt Holliday's 6th inning mash out to center off the Vaseline Warrior. Heath Bell was warming up in the bullpen. Without so much as flinching on the mound in center, he casually caught the ball and flipped it into the nighttime crowd. Damn YouTube for not having a clip for my inept ass to find...
*Open Message to T-Rex: You're little brother is a significantly better baseball player than you, he even has normal length arms. What the hell is going on with you? If you think that not swinging the bat and trying to draw walks is a good thing, think again. You went 15 consecutive pitches over a short span without attempting a swing. You reached base zero times in that stretch. How about you quit running around the locker room naked and you try actually putting the baseball in play. I know your disability with the short arms and all prevents proper extension, but Christ, try a bunt or something. No, don't do that, HIT A FUCKING HOME RUN from time to time okay? How 'bout this, if you hit more home runs than your brother, I'll get off your case. Until then it's shitlist for you.
*Completely off Topic: I only like getting into the craw of Nick Canepa and Skip Bayless when the remark the absurd, but yesterday Michael Wilbon of the Washington Post was being nonsensical on the PTI. I like Mike, he's a very good sports guy, but we need a good scandal or something for him to talk about. Yesterday, he was venting about the weather effect on some East Coast baseball games and how the scheduling was so poor not to play those games in protected stadiums to prevent early season cancellations of games. I agreed to a certain extent, but Mike continued with this gem..."It's the dumbest thing. It's dumber than college football not having a playoff system." Uh, no. It's not. There's still 189,499 games, 18 months, 871 Yankees/Red Sox stories and 275 more Joe Buck nonsensicals to go in the season. Postponing a few games is neither a correct comparison or even relevant to college football's struggles to adequately determie a champion. Now, someone go catch Dice K doctoring up a cute coed with his gyroball so Wilbon has something to do. And hurry up.
*Oh, and Red Sox fans, don't you find it funny that you are calling the new sensation out there Dice K? Nice work using the nickname from a Brooklyn born comedian (term used very loosely). The new pride of Boston, named after a New Yorker. It's no wonder no one likes the Red Sox anymore. You are pretty fuckin' stupid fans sometimes.
*It appears that the Vegan is trying to make me look bad. Good work Buddha. Keep it up, try not to injure your sensitive fragile digits.
*Sunday afternoon, I'll be sitting near third base. I'll have whatever you're drinking as long as it's cold and beer like.