Wednesday, January 03, 2007

The Cut.

I could get all serious with The Cut this week and cut gunplay in the NFL, but that is likely beyond my abilities. I’m sure I don’t need to bother to link one of the many articles referring to the drive-by shooting death of Denver DB Darrent Williams on New Year’s Eve. It’s a shame that this is becoming so common in the last few years. You knew someone was going to have to die eventually. I guess those guys at the club are better shots than the SDPD. I have no love for the Denver Broncos, but I feel sincerely sad for the franchise, and more importantly, Williams’ family. Sadly, if the Broncos had never cut Maurice Clarett, Williams may have been furnished with Kevlar. Hindsight is always 20-20.

I could Cut Nick Saban, but that would be redundant. What a douchey douche. Of course, if you didn’t see this coming a long time ago, you are obviously wearing white gloves and eating ketchup popsicles. Seriously, Peter King has been going out of his mind for weeks trying to get it into our thick heads that there was no way Saban would bail on the Dolphins for ‘Bama. What better indicator is there?

This week, though, I’ll go with my instincts and cut the Wildcards. Seriously, every one of the Wildcard teams suck. And I know what some of you are thinking, which is why I’ll save the Kansas Shitty Chiefs for last.

First, the New York Jets:

The Jets are a super feel good story for some reason. I think it’s because Bill Belichek is so mean to Eric Mangini or something. The Jets were not supposed to end up anywhere near the play-offs. Well, what do you know, there they are. And now Mangini is coach of the year and far be it from me to wonder whether this team was just really bad under Herm Edwards…who sucks. Seriously, stay tuned for more on that. Anyway, the Jets were held to 3 points or less 3 times this season. They were shellacked by the Jags 41-0! Out in this first round!

The Cowboys:

The Cowboys couldn’t get it up for a shot at the division against the Eggles in Texas Stadium. This team got beat by the Lions and the Redskins. It’s one thing to lose to bad teams. It’s another thing all together to lose to bad NFC teams. Out in the first round!

The vaGiants:

Looking back over this team’s season, it was harder to knock them. I mean, they employ some of the more annoying, whiney, hateworthy players in the game, but facts are facts. They kind of won the ones they should have won, and lost the ones they should have lost. This team is so even Steven they actually finished 8-8. And they’re in the play-offs. Too bad the play-offs are supposed to be for teams that win more than they lose. Out in the first round!


This one’s my favorite. Everybody can’t stop going on and on about Larry Johnson and how he’s going to plow through the Colts two-hand-touch run defense. That may or may not be, but this team isn’t supposed to be there and they know it. Their idiot coach has been screaming that they didn’t back into the play-offs, but the truth of the matter is that the club put one of his starters on IR before the last game and said afterwards that if they thought that they were going to make the post season they wouldn’t have done that! I’m sure Edwards had nothing to say on the matter, but they didn’t back in at all. The Chiefs were murdered 45-7 by the Steelers. They let the Browns come back from, like three TDs down in the fourth quarter. They were held to 10 points or less 6 times this season! Out in the first round!

The NFL purists out there who complain about wildcard teams every year normally cheese me off, especially because in recent years some wildcards have done well for themselves. But this year, those codgers may be right. Maybe they should make the wildcards wear leather helmets this year? That’d make everybody happy.


CJ said...

Hermy Edwards is like the AFC's version of Denny Green. Awful coach, says ridiculous things and defends them vehemently in camera present settings.

"We Won, We did not back into the playoffs." Yeah, like you said, that whole IR thing. Totally like DNA evidence in O.J.'s trial in terms of being insurmountable. Oh.

Blogust said...

I am sorry, but I don't see Dallas losing to Seattle. The Cowboys are 5-3 away and The SeaChickens are 5-3 at home. Both finished with the same record, but I think the Cowboys division was tougher. Sure the Chickens gave San Diego a run for their money, but to me that was more Rivers, and that lousy facemask penalty, than it was Seattle.

P.S. MC, I know the bet was for Ohio, but who did you pick for the USC game?

Maximum Colossus said...

You don't have to apologize. You can believe in unicorns for all I care. I'll grant you that the NFC East is likely the toughest NFC division, but that's like saying it's the tastiest of the shit flavored ice creams. I like Seattle in that game due to the fact that they went to the Superbowl last year meaning all their key players have big time post season experience. I don't like Dallas because they still have their whiney receivers, their QB has come back down to Earth, and their once vaunted defense has absolutely crumbled over the last five or so games.

As far as college ball, I kind of thought USC was a lie all year, so I thought Michigan would schooll 'em. Turned out I had it ass backwards. What do I know about fucking college?