Thursday, December 02, 2010

Tonight's Game That I Can't Watch

Fuck you, NFL. I know you don't care about me or any other fan, but you don't have to rub my nose in it with you're stupid network that my cable provider will not carry because you are a bunch of no good extortionists. Seriously, you are more evil than my cable company. That's pretty damn evil. Anyway, the game.

Houston @ Philly
As has been mentioned here before, Houston is sporting one of the very worst pass defenses in the history of the game. That makes Rusty Smith of the Tennessee Titans quite possibly the worst QB to ever start a game. Mike Vick is not Rusty Smith. I expect Mike Vick to make fantasy football explode tonight. And why wouldn't he? A win for my fantasy football team will do nothing for me. I'm already in the postseason, with no hope of procuring a bye, so go ahead and light it up for me this week, Vick.

As for Houston? Jay Cutler, who I should not need to remind you is fucking terrible, shredded Philly for 4 TDs last week. I expect Matt Schaub to hook up with Andre Johnson for about 400 yards and 5 TDs even though Johnson shouldn't even be playing because he got in a freaking fist fight on the field last week! In his defense, he did not get in a fist fight with a QB, which is all the league really cares about. And the QB matters too. Punch Tom Brady or Drew Brees in the face and you get sent to the UFL for a year. The league probably has a money jar that goes to the guy who punches Philip Rivers in the face.

When all is said and done, I expect Houston to prove yet again how little they want to succeed at anything other than being overrated. Texans 27, Iggles 35

Enjoy the game. I'll be watching LeBron get hit in the head with a bottle.

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