As For the Rest of the Weekend...

Here's where I'd be putting my money. If I had any money.

NO @ Cincy
A lot of people expect Cincinnati to step up here in the last 5 weeks and try to end the season on a high note. I am not one of those people. Saints 35, Bengals 13

Chicago @ Detroit
I think Tedi Bruschi called this a trap game for Chicago today on NFL Live. That begs the question, "What the fuck is a trap game anyway?" Has Detroit lost most of it's games this year just weaving an intricate web in which to catch the sleeping Chicago Bears? This is Detroit's Superbowl, who am I to deny them?! Bears 24, Lions 27

Frisco @ Green Bay
Now that Frank Gore is gone I hope that we can finally put to bed all this talk of Frisco pulling their shit together and winning this sorry division. Yeah, they dismantled the Cardinals, but the rest of the schedule is full of trap games! Niners 10, Packers 34

Denver @ KC
Don't look now, but this has all the trappings of a trap game! Unless, of course, KC bothers to prepare for a team that beat the ever loving shit out of them a few weeks ago. I would pick almost any other team in the league to beat KC this week due to the fact that they've got to be hearing little Bolty footsteps, but how the fuck can I ever pick Denver again? Donks 30, Chiefs 31

Cleveland @ Miami
This is getting a little ridiculous. This is obviously a trap game! With the multitude of trap games this week, I wonder if it is I who is being manipulated. What trap awaits me?! Maybe after this week we will have some idea what kind of team Miami is this season. However, I already know what kind of team the Browns are. Those guys are just having fun out there as though they are playing sandlot. They're like a whole team of Brett Favres! Except for this year's Brett Favre. That guy is not having any fun at all. Browns 28, Fins 27

Buffalo @ Minnesota
Speaking of Brett Favre...Why shouldn't the Vikings go ahead and win the rest of their games and accomplish nothing more than a half-hearted attempt to make the offseason about Brett Favre one more time? Buffalo is sad Cleveland. Bills 20, ViQueens 24

Washington @ NY VaGiants
NFC East match-ups have really lost their luster with the Cowboys and Redskins reeling so badly this year. Good. Fuck that division. Skins 16, VaGiants 27

Jax @ Tennessee
Jacksonville is the AFC's Chicago. I know for a fucking fact that both of those teams suck balls, but damn it if they're not going to get into the postseason and annoy the hell out of everybody. Tennessee gets a thousand times better with Kerry Collins. Jags 13, Titans 20

Oakland @ San Diego
Let the new 13 game winning streak begin. Raiders 17, Bolts 34

St. Louis @ Zona
I firmly believe the Rams are the Creme de la NFC West. Which is saying nothing. The turn of the century Rams would skull fuck these Rams to an early grave. Rams 18, Cards 17

Dallas @ Indy
I bet at the beginning of the year media types were jerking each other off over this match-up. Not so much now. Funny thing is, it will probably be as exciting as people thought it would be. It just won't mean shit for one of the teams. Haha, fuck you Cowboys! Cowpokes 30, Colts 33

Carolina @ Seattle
Holy Christ, if you are watching this game and your fantasy team is not littered with Hawks and Panthers then I will gladly come over to your house and drive a nail through your left nut for $500, because you are obviously a fucking batshit crazy masochist and I could use the money. Panthers 17, Seahawks 20

Atlanta @ Tampa Bay
These two took their last game down to the wire, and that should tell you that division games are wild, whacky stuff. Tampa is a year away from figuring out how to beat better teams, but they are on their way. Falcons 27, Bucs 20

Pitt @ Baltimore
This is the kind of game you look at and go, "Holy shit, this is what the NFL is all about!" Admit it, you are salivating at this division rivalry between two smashmouth juggeranuts. The reality is, however, that this game will probably bore you to tears. Steelers 13, Ravens 14

NY Jets @ Patriots
Trap game if I ever saw one. For both teams. Neither one is ever going to see the other one coming. I so badly want to call for a tie here, but I just don't have the sack. Jets 23, Pats 20 (Doesn't that just look like a very Jets-Pats score?)

That it is, suckahs! Happy Weekend! Go Bolts!!!