Tuesday, September 15, 2009

What's Old is New...

It was finally here! Opening day! Yay!!! I'd survived the offseason yet again without sustaining any long term damage from the self induced coma that comes with a severe lack of footballing. I even sprung for a new t-shirt to drape over my sorry carcass for this 2009 Opening Day.

I read and read and read the experts during the lead up to this glorious day. We're going to the Super Bowl! We're gonna win the Super Bowl! We've got Shawne Merriman back and who cares if he chokes marginally attractive D-List reality television "starz" when everyone is drunk threesoming a week before the season opener. WE'RE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL! Nick Canepa said so!!!

Here we are a day later, and you know what I saw? I didn't see any super bowl contender, that's for certain. The team looked slightly more energetic than Patrick Swayze, but the most glaring observation I can make is that nothing had changed. Not to beat a dead horse, but the paid columnists in this town did everything short of anointing this team champs before training camp broke. Not going to get off to a slow start this year, a rejuvenated running back in L.T.D. playing with a serious chip on his shoulder. A whole new attitude. Blah, blah, blah, what a bunch of horseshit.

Nothing had changed. Not a damned thing. Save maybe the run defense that in the first half looked far worse than it did last year. There was truly a lack of leadership, as was prevalent all of the last season as well. A lack of execution, with turnovers and penalties occurring with far more frequency than they should. And again, a lack of creativity, a lack of desire, another fucking bland vanilla incarnation of a Norv Turner coached football team. Hurray! I won't even go into the fucking waiting room at the infirmary right now either. We're not built to sustain injuries despite how many times the Godfather sold us on this team's depth.

So I continue to beat the same dead Alpo chuck found behind the Del Mar Turf Club. After one viewing of this squad, it's a bad clone of last year's 8-8 shiny turd. And no matter how much you polish those turds, they still stink like shit. Color me unimpressed and a bit disappointed. I'm glad I have that inner skeptic in me that didn't recognize the Super Bowl quality of this squad thus tempering my expectations. I know, it's only week one, and we're rusty and whatever the fuck else kind of excuse you want to use to make yourself feel like this is again our year. I'm going to require a bit more proof than blind fucking optimism yet one more time. I'd rather go outside and fucking throw rocks at my treasured wasps nest than pretend like that was any fucking fun at all.

And you know what else? No fucking hot cheerleader pictures until this team acts like they deserve them. Instead, a girl that I think they deserve...

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