This may or may not be a new bit around here, but lately I've exchanged emails and words with many a folk about the footballing squad and heard quite the incredible analysis of our team. In no way should these conversations not be shared with the masses, yep, all six of our readers. I hope you enjoy.
The first of the installment happened last night with none other than this site's other wordsmith, Max Colossus.
Me: So we need to have a serious talk.
Max: What about?
Me: You know. A little thing like tomorrrow's game.
Max: What about it?
Me: Well, are we going to win?
Max: Uh, hell fucking no. No. No. We're not going to win.
Me: (Uncontrollably lauging) Why not? (Tears and snot running down my face)
Max: Well, first, Miami's PISSED! The did everything to win that game last week, controlling the ball for 46 minutes and running it for like 1000 yards. We're fucked. They're PISSED!!!!
Now, in that statement there isn't much I can disagree with. Except the fact that I think we're PISSED too. I think that our PISSED totally fucking dominates their PISSED. That and they showed this tremendous gaplike vagina defense, much like ourselves, that allowed Pey Pey to exploit their secondary to the degree that 14 minutes of offensive possession was more than enough to rape the Dolphins. And you know how dolphins love the rape. So, as long as Ol' Norvy doesn't go out and step on his dick again, Philip The Laserfaced should double his season high 436 yards passing from last week. That, and we've never won time of possession as a stat cause we fry time outs like convicts, and we are fairly awful at the third down play calling in all but the last two minutes of each half, last week notwithstanding. That being said, this is me being not concerned about the Miami Dolphins.
Bolts 37 Dolphins 36. Ya heard?