Friday, September 25, 2009

Acee Doesn't Ask, Doesn't Want To Be Told

Here's today's depthless article on the Chargers running game or something, I can't really tell what the fuck the point is, but I love this part, where Discredit to the Profession of Coaching Norvelle Turner addresses the Michael Bennett issue:

After Bennett carried just four times to Sproles' 10 in Sunday's loss to Baltimore, Turner said he would have liked to use Bennett more. But it's not because he thinks he has to.

When Acee goes on to ask Turner why he didn't use Bennett more as he says he would have liked to, Turner says-oh wait, Turner said nothing. Because he wasn't asked. Apparently, Acee was cool with that completely vague and noncommital statement. So let me help:

Norv, why didn't Bennet get more carries on Sunday?

Norv: Uh, well, uh, because..uh...

He was hit by a bus at the half.
Shawne Merriman raped him in an attempt to get his mojo back.
I have a vagina.
We try to have one talented, underutilized back every year, in case you haven't been paying attention.
What's that over there?!
People in England only have one spoon.
AJ told me not to use him.
He developed Super Aids.
We're not as good as you all thought we were.

Fair enough Norv, fair enough. Feel free to share your own possible reasons in the comments.


Diego Jimbone said...

He's busy taking reps learning to be our center.
Confused fans might think LT is playing.
Sproles enjoys "hugs" from unblocked linebackers in the backfield.
Pasta fagioli!
His name isn't nearly as cool as "Legedu!"

CJ said...

We were busy on incorporating him into the new third down field goal formation.
He was busy choking out a drunken Kate Gosselin.
I'm actually trying to get myself fired on purpose.
He was busy holding Tomlinson's ice pack.
We're not playing Martyball over here, that shit got the last guy crucified!
He was babysitting for Cromartie.

That's all I got.