...and not a moment too soon.
I don't think the Tenessee Titans are an actual football team, and I don't care if it makes me sound like a racist or not, Vince Young is not good at throwing the ball to people on his team. That is one of the hallmark skills of an NFL quarterback. Of course, the Chargers have a way of making questionable passers into one-hit wonders and mobile (I'm not going to say black, dammit. Steve young and Mark Brunell were mobile once, and they were two of the whitest people to play football. You know who do make horrible QBs, though? Pakistanians(?) Pakistanii(?) Pakistanis(?) Whatever. Name one.) QBs can give us fits. And I mean good mobile QBs, not Aaron Brooks, who only ever gave his own team fits, although it should be noted that the Saints once missed an opportunity to go to overtime in a game that could have sent them to the playoffs, but poor John Carney missed an extra point at the end of the game. Fuck, that has to suck. Anyway, the point is, who knows what's going to happen in this Bolts-Titans clash? Oh wait. Me.
Bolts 30, Titans 13
I want to pick the Steelers to win against the suddenly tired-looking and sort of figured-out Patriots, but the freaking game is in Foxboro and let's look at some of the Juggernauts the Steelers have fallen to on the road this year.
1) The Cards; Motto: "Not as good as advertised."
B) The Broncos; Motto: "We have no idea why anybody expected us to be good in the first place."
III) The Jets; Motto: "No motto, we're budget."
That, coupled with Polamalu(?) probably being out leads me to believe that the Pats finish undefeated in the reg, folks.
Pats 34, Steelers 24
And as for the game you are all dying to see-at least as far as the local CBS affiliate would like to believe-the Broncos and the Chiefs battle it out to decide once and for all who will be a little less terrible than the other. Who fucking cares, really, I'll be at the bar watching that snoozer in Foxboro.
Chiefs 12, Broncos 10
I don't really care about the other games, and in fact I don't care much about the ones I already predicted, but if you must know...Colts and Cowgirls cover, and everybody else probably pushes because Vegas is ridiculous. Peace out, and happy Harmonica!!! Go Bolts!!!