What's this? Victory?

Holy fucking shit. Send out a Goddamned email, text message, fucking note strapped to a carrier pigeon, the Bolts won a fucking game. Convincingly. A game mind you that they were supposed to win. WHAT THE FUCK. I, for one am shocked. Shocked I tell you, not in that skateboarder falling down a staircase and busting his balls on a rail shocked, but mildly surprised nonetheless. Is the apocalypse upon us? Nah, the football team just looked like the team of yore...

I wanted to take a few days to process this as my goal this season was objectivity. Could I nitpick and find numerous errors during that non-debacle performance in the Mile High Shittown? Sure. I could point out some shortcomings, but out of fairness I won't. I'm also not going to climb back on to the overly crowded and way to emotional bandwagon and demand a spot in the fellatio line. It seems as if you aren't allowed to be objective and criticize wins in this town. Wins, are supposed to shut your mouth and have you fall in line. Surprise, surprise when I open up
Nick's page to find yet another fluffer (that's not a typo) piece. It's almost as if the directive came from the Lord Sith himself, "Nick, get the minions in line. Get the fools back on board this ship." So sayeth the sith, so does the Nick. The comments are a particular cheap thrill as well. (read them, they are awesome!)



I swear to Christ, there's a reason we aren't a good sports town. People here don't know shit. One win, and now Norv is immune to criticism. GO BOLTS!!! They say. Well, I for one am not buying it yet. What I saw on Sunday was an enjoyable beat down of a tremendously inferior football team. Yes, we trounced them on their home turf, a place where that feat is notoriously difficult to achieve. All the breaks went our way and our mistakes were not magnified. Good for them. Hopefully, this is just what is necessary to take this squad to the next level. I for one, want to see it. You are still going to have to do some proving to me fellas...Sorry if that is contrary to the beliefs of the masses.

And so of course, one of the new features, the Dejection Photo of the Week, is blown. There was no mass dejection, no obvious displays of sadness and frustration. I'm glad to put that feature to bed with a heavy dose of ether, wait... perhaps I spoke to soon...


Ahhh, Dejection at the hands of Jamal and the rest of the gang. Hey, I know it's not some dipshit backwards ass Colorodan crying in his watered down Coors, but hey, the stadium was empty in the third quarter. They don't stick around there when the team sucks shit, they leave. We emptied that bitch. There were a few, "Jay Cutler is God!", sounds emanating from some far off corner. Sure, if you substitute "God" for "Anal Worshiping Ass Whore". Yeah, that sounds right.

There were a few 'Conversations From the Heart' this week as well, but most of them had to do with the waitress, dammit again, 'server' in our area who looks like she was put toghether with plastic by the hands of horny angels. Good Lord is she hot. If I can get a photo next time without getting arrested again you all will see her. Be patient. And no, none of those conversations were fit for print. Use your imagination and think massive quantities of nudity, honey and barn animal style fornication and you won't be even close...

Madden Prediction Delorean Vehicle


The Flux Capacitor malfunctioned this week and the game was not played. We will be one short of our complete 16 game season. Fuck off if that matters and or bothers you. It'll be back this week...oh, and if you have spare time, and I know you do, Google "malfunction", that's a kick...

Wrapping this up right, a cheerleader...



And yes, it's Raider Week now as well.