Mysterio Is Our Secondary Coach

Okay, I’m just going to go ahead and start off with a quote from a guy who inexplicably writes about football for a living. And keep in mind, when I say for a living, I mean he gets paid actual money and doesn’t need to supplement his income working evenings as a barista at Starbuck’s. Ready? Here it is?

“(Nov. 22, 2005) -- History is six games away for the undefeated Colts, and there are going to be three fierce challenges along the way -- Monday night against Pittsburgh, Dec. 11 at Jacksonville and Dec. 24 at Seattle. “

Granted, this joker wrote this before that remarkable nail biter in Washington yesterday, but I’m still sick of this stunning lack of acknowledgement. Of course, you do want teams to look past you. To be unprepared. But that’s the thing. You know the Colts consider us a threat. You know they remember when we came to town last year and nearly snatched one away. And you can’t possibly think they believe their defense is as good as the talking sports heads would have us believe. They’ve got their match up with the Bolts marked on their calendar. Believe that! Only the sports “experts” don’t. And the people that don’t ever here about us, because we are an afterthought to the other half of the country. I read one the other day where the guy actually said we’d end their undefeated season, because Dungy would have clinched home field advantage by then and would rest his starters. Thanks for the back-handed compliment. Can we take any pride in being better than the Colts’ back-ups. Please, someone steer me towards the douche bag who says we aren't better than their scrubs. Cause you know that column is out there somewhere!

On to yesterday's obsevatorious remarks (That is totally a word. Shut up.).

Can we put the whole debate to sleep yet? I know Shaun Alexander and Tiki Barber are putting up fine and impressive numbers, but seriously, people, LaDainian Tomlinson is simply the best in the game. Occasionally, teams will load up and take him out of a game to some degree. Sometimes it’s our coaching that trips him up. But more often than not he is just quite obviously the most amazing player on the field. Any field. Yesterday, from thousands of miles away, he saved thousands of people from suffering heart attacks and countless television sets from the spontaneous exploding bottle syndrome. I don't think I need to tell you that those sort of accomplishments go above and beyond what most teams expect from their starting back.

Drew is allowed a little hiccup yesterday(Only considered little cause we won). The Redskins defense was in his face all day, and I’m convinced everyone on that team is an expert at jumping in the air and waving their hands around(Not to mention being, what, like eight feet tall?). Our guy was able to make some plays when he had to, though, and with a little luck, did a good enough job to get us into a spot where all we needed was a penalty to set us up for the win. Just a little jab there. He can take it.

I’m not going to harp on Gates for the problems he had yesterday. He made a couple big ones and played hurt. And, of course, he rules.

Eric Parker hasn’t gotten much pub here, but the last couple of weeks he’s looking spectacular. Will a premiere receiver be as big of a need next year as everyone thought? We’ll see.

I’ve got to hand it to both defenses, what with their abilities to telekinetically defend passes, but I’d like to see our guys occasionally handle one physically.

And one last special thanks to the Zebras. Not a lot of phantom calls. A questionable overturned interception in our favor. And, most importantly, you actually caught that guy tackling our lineman in the backfield. That’s the one that earns you new hats and whistles in you stockings this Christmas. Ho, ho, ho! Go Bolts!!!