Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Well, I'm Gonna Talk some !@#$.

First and foremost, hats off to Darrell May, who has taken a lot of criticism from this would be sports authority. 5 solid innings last night is something to be proud of. Didn't figure in the decision, but certainly a factor in the outcome. Secondly, a big attaboy to the world's most boring Padre, Khalil Greene. Let me quantify that. Greeney is nothing short of electrifying on the field, but seriously San Diego sports media, leave this guy alone. It's torture for him and it's torture for us, okay? Let him hit the showers while you talk to Nevin or Giles or anybody else who doesn't look like they just swallowed a bug when they get on camera.

Now for the crap talk. Time to get back on my favorite subject. This country's love/hate affair with the filthy, filthy Yankees. Wow, 10 in a row! That definitely qualifies them for top billing in every major newspaper and on all the big sports web sites. No disputing that...Unless, you look a little closer and notice that all of those wins have come against a grand total of two-count them, two-teams. And what two American League powerhouses have the Yankees chosen to smite in a show of their supreme dominance? Why, the mighty Oakland Athletics and the stalwart Seattle Mariners. For those of you who don't know, those two juggernauts are locked in an epic battle to determine who doesn't suck the most in their division. It's a testament to the leadership and blue collar talent of the meager Yankees that they are able to take the fight out of such potent enemies. Seriously, though, it's too bad the Red Sox and the Cubs don't get 10 game stretches against the A's and the Mariners (Who are, by the way, the Padres arch rivals in the American League. Did you know that?). Then every sports columnist in the country could grace us with their multiple literary orgasms.

Last time I checked, the Padres went from a record of 9-13 to 24-16, facing teams like St. Louis, Arizona, Florida and Atlanta along the way. Not too shabby, but all I see on the web are the crappy AP stories. No praise. Nothing. Hell, the Dodgers still place above them on most peoples power rankings. I don't mean to be greedy for praise, but you know if this team falls back down to Earth we're going to hear about it. Oh well, screw it. I guess I wouldn't mind flying in under the radar for a little while longer.

You're making us proud and happy, Padres. Thanks. So, let's keep it up and finish off these Braves in high fashion. But beware, cause you know who's next up for their shot at the big dogs? That's right, those smarmy Mariners. Ooh, they make me so mad with their nautical theme. Just like that bastard, the Gordon's Fisherman. Smug prick! Go Padres!!!!!

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