Don't Knock The Governator.

I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that my beloved Chargers are going to end up in Los Angeles. I'm not prepared per se, but I believe I know what the future holds for the team. What that means regarding my fandom is still up in the air.

Some of you out there will say, "Wait! Maximum Colossus, the battle is not over. What about Chula Vista? Oceanside?" Oh, would't that be nice? And while it isn't inconceivable, I find it hard to swallow. The fact is, the money is just too good for everybody involved in the business end of having a team in L.A., and the NFL these days is, first and foremost, a business. The owners have been uncharacteristically forthright in admitting that more expansion is unlikely. They don't want to add another hungry mouth to feed to the teat of television revenue. It's only billions of dollars people; not nearly enough to go around.

"So, why does that team have to be the Chargers, Colossus?" Well, technically it doesn't. But let's face it, the Spanos family has not done much to garner public faith. They crippled us with the ticket guarantee that was supposed to keep the team here until 2020, knowing full well we couldn't ultimately live up to our end of the bargain. More importantly, though, they haven't furnished us with a true winner in over a decade. Sure, 12 - 4 and one and done in the play-offs is a rare treat for San Diego, but it's hardly enough to whet the appetites of those who would vote to dig into the pocket of the collective and build a new home for the Bolts. This team wants to go to L.A. The owners have put together a core of solid players that can easily contend in the league with the addition of just a couple of more key pieces. Rest assured, when it's time to attract a new home crowd, those pieces will be put in place. Even the fickle fans of LaLa Land love a winner, and they'll fill the seats for the L.A. Chargers. They'll even justify it in their own feeble minds by telling themselves it's okay because the Chargers were an L.A. team for a whole year at their initial conception. They'll enjoy the fruits of our fandom just like they did with Oakland back in the day. The difference is, Oakland got their team back. San Diego will never know professional football again. The NFL will make an example of this town. They will say that we are not like Cleveland or Houston. Our team did not sneak out of town in the middle of the night. The owner "tried" to negotiate a future here in "good faith." But alas, stubborn San Diego was unwilling to give an inch to a franchise that has done its best to bend this town over at every turn.

I can here you now. "What of the rumors, MC? I heard DeBartolo and Policy are trying to pry the Raiders away from the cold, dying hands of the world's most unapologetic a-hole? They want to bring the team back to L.A. Surely that will shut the door on a Charger move?" Now, imagine me patting you on the head like good little boys and girls and telling you not to get too excited or you might get a belly ache. Let's say, for fun, that this unlikely scenario comes to pass. The inglorious bastards return to the Coliseum. Oh the fanfare! Oh the gunfire! Hurray, let's loot the city with joy! Well, so what. A couple of weeks ago, our Governor, Arnold Shortsa- Shwarzu- Kindergarten Cop, said that he could foresee a Los Angeles with two NFL franchises! You know, like in the glory days of L.A. football. At the time, everybody kind of shrugged it off as some guy from Austria, who doesn't know much about such things, just shooting his mouth off to gather more support in California's largest metropolis. Even Tagliabue, our not-soon-enough-for-me-ex NFL commisioner more or less laughed at the notion. But what's so funny? There have been two sites trying to put together a package for the NFL for years now. Is it so far fetched that we could see, in our time, the Los Angeles Raiders and the Los Angeles Chargers of Anaheim. Do you think Spanos would mind being the red-headed stepchild in that media market? Not if he were the richer-than-he-is-now red-headed stepchild, that's for sure.

Most intriguingly though, is that while he was laughing off the idea of two teams in L.A. just a short time ago, Tags recently posited the idea of two teams sharing a stadium in L.A., just like the Giants and the Jets. Yes! The Chargers and the Raiders in the same stadium! That is gold! Dogs and cats living together! Total pandemonium! Maybe after Tagliabue retires as commisioner he can fly over to the Middle East and sort that whole thing out. Come on, people! There's plenty of Holy Land for everyone!

The bottom line is, the Chargers are going to go to L.A. Unless they can dupe some city within the county of San Diego to give up the farm on a completely lopsided deal that benefits the team to the point where it can continue it's dog meets tick relationship with its home and its fans, then the team is gone. Mark it. I hope I'm wrong. But I'm not.

Los Madres...

Since the blackout period has not been observed this year and nothing is up for discussion short of Drew’s golf game and the fact that he is throwing passes now, albeit to no one in particular, we can focus on something important and that is the debacle that was last night’s baseball game.

Jake Peavy pitched a gem. A 7 inning 16 strikeout beauty of a gem. A gem that would make chicks throw their engagement rings into the toilet and immediately request an upgrade. Had you been watching the performance and listening to the ever popular announcing team, short one drunk Sutcliffe this night, you’d have thought that the Madres were winning by about 348 runs. Truth be told, we weren’t.

In fact, despite the 16 K’s, Jake got a loss. Why? Well, in the inning numbering 2, he gave up a two run bomb to a guy that had a tremendous home run total of 2 entering last night. He made a mistake, gave up some yardwork, and lost. Didn’t really matter after that point if he struck out everyone in the stands that night. He lost. It was his fault. I wish people would quit trying to pretend that it wasn’t his fault. Sorry you made one bad pitch and it cost you Jake. I like you. Everyone coming to your defense saying it wasn’t your fault must be nice, but I bet you were pretty pissed last night with your overall performance despite the inflated strikeout total. We were facing John Smoltz by the way, who we don’t ever hit. Ever. So, even though Jake only gave up the two runs on the one mistake, it wasn’t enough. He could have struck out the next 22 guys, still wouldn’t have and didn’t matter. When does the football game start?

Oh yeah. September…

Draft Day Donuts...

In just a few words due to my inability to be articulate about what I am seeing on television at this moment, enjoy some bullet points:

-Houston has renewed my faith that I could be a professional General Manager. Success at that position is not a requirement to hold the job.

-The New Orleans Saints have just become the 2004 Chargers, IF, (and the caps lock button isn’t putting the emphasis on the IF that I would like) IF, IF, IF IF, Drew Brees comes back from injury.

-Tennessee just got the cheap version of Michael Vick. Congratulations.

-Ahhhhhh, the Jets. Always going to be the Jets. J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets!!!! Happy times….

Big Fat Charger Draft Preview.

In short, who do I want? Santonio Holmes. I want a star receiver, damn it! I want a flashy guy, and I think I deserve it. I've been so good this year. 4 months and nary a restraining order to be seen.

Who do I think the coaches want? Winston Justice. But I don't see A.J. as the trading up kind of guy.

Who does A.J. want? Well, if indeed the transformation to Bobby Beathard levels of genius is truly under way, this could be the year he trades way back and drafts the entire Mesa College senior class. Honestly, though, A.J. has drafted pretty well to this point, so I can't be too hard on him there. I could see him taking a LB at 19. Maybe Ernie Simms, if by some crazy miracle he falls that far. He won't. Vince Young? Ha Ha.

Who do I think we'll actually get? Jimmy Williams.

How do I feel about that? Not so hot. In the last 4 years we've drafted a DB twice with our 1st rounder, and they haven't exactly burst onto the scene in a blazing fury. Hell, one of them is gone, traded for an excuse not to take a receiver #1.

Oh well, whatever happens, I'm excited, because it's the draft, and the NFL makes it so pretty that it's almost like watching actual football. Mostly just cause I'm drunk by noon, though, really. Go Bolts!!! Draft your asses off!

Open Letter #2...

Mr. A.J. Smith,

I am going to make this quick. I tried to make this point in a very round about way in my last post. But it didn’t work, so here goes attempt #2 at explaining this without sounding hypocritical.

If Donnie Edwards leaves town, it will be the third time (Brees doesn’t count he was hurt) that we let one of the beloved members of the team depart because management didn’t want to pay or show any loyalty to them. Sometimes I have supported this and sometimes I haven’t. But I have been wrong as well. But the bottom line is this:

Sometimes you have to keep the guys the fans like even if it might cost you a bit of money. The fan base wants to win, but we also want to win with the guys we like. That is very important. A TEAM. We want to follow A TEAM. Not a bunch of strangers that are cheaper than the other guys we like that get ARRESTED!!!

Sometimes it’s good to listen to the fans. It’s up to you start believing that.

Maybe someone ought to remind you how you got your job.

With all sincerity,

CJ

Look Out! Here Comes The Man Again!

This is getting out of hand! When will the SDPD give up their obvious grudge against the San Diego Charger Linebacking corp. These guys are out, minding their own business, and trying to enjoy some well-deserved downtime in the offseason. Then, from out of the blue, San Diego's finest comes along and makes a big deal out of some minor parking violation, some expired out-of-state registration (Really, shouldn't that be the Arkansas PD's responsibility?), the stench of booze, and the alledged attempt to flee the scene. Ridiculous. Let's face it, it's a different linebacker every time, so the common denominator is apparent. It's hard to field a winning team when the city is working so hard to incarcerate all your players. Still, three cops? You've gotta admire the heart. Get on with your bad self, Steve Foley!

P.S. Nice picture, UT, but couldn't you find one where he's brandishing some sort of weapon. Freakin' media vampires!

An Open Letter...

Dear Mr. Canepa, Mr. Smith, Mr. Spanos and our Fan Base,

Well, not much can be said on top of what has already been said here today about the state of our football team. Will we be good? My thought is yes. Will we make the playoffs? Maybe. Will we go all the way to the Super Session and get the first prized brass ring that we seek so desperately in this town? Uhhh, no. No we won’t. As we have seen in the past, it’s time to jettison the guys that have gotten us here and replace them with cheaper, less talented talent so that we remain competitive enough to sell out the seats and lift your television blackout weekly. Just enough that the NFL recognizes that this would be a good fit for the L.A. market and allow that town to chase another franchise from their ranks.

This Donnie E. thing has me up in arms. Believe me, Donnie is one of the most underrated backers of the line that has played in this town. He is by all measures a superstar. He has been and he will continue to be, of that I have no doubt. Needless to say that guy gave his all for this squad and is a staple now to this team. Do we have guys that can fill his shoes when he is gone? Perhaps, as we do have a lot of very talented guys playing those positions right now. Is this the right move? Yes, and no. Donnie wants what is amounting to back pay, he has been the best around this town for years now. Is he getting old? Yes, it’s what people and professional athletes do. I have yet to meet anyone save Gary Coleman who have been able to retard the aging process. But, to just be able to cut ties and move on as we have done two times already is just a bit much for me to handle. I’d be surprised if by gametime (read: September) if he was still out there guarding the middle of the field leading the defense. Donnie, if you have suited up for your last game here in San Diego, you will be missed. Come kickoff in month number nine, I will be looking for you out there on the field. I hope that you will be in Oakland wreaking havoc on those mother fu… jerks out there, dominating as you have.

I won’t go as far as you Mr. Canepa and verbally stimulate Mr. Smith. But I can almost see your angle, Mr. GM. But that is the main problem. You always has an angle, and I think that it is perfectly clear thanks to MC here that the angle is Los Angeles. And I think it blows rhinoceros testes that it is so transparent yet again. It’s about time to start thinking about becoming faithful to another squad as the inevitable move develops with more and more pieces falling into place for the moving trucks to be backing into the Murph in ’08.

So, Mr. Canepa, call a spade a spade when you see one. I am eager to read one more of your columns and only one more. The one that contains your explanation for being a Smith apologist when the opening day kickoff happens for the Los Angeles “Whatevers”. I want to see how you cover your tracks when the team is gone and you have spent your time defending all the personnel decisions that are in the team’s best interest. I am sure though this won’t be remembered when you collect your check and continue writing about the stability of our team. No, our GM isn’t an idiot, he is a calculating, manipulating bastard that is looking to break this town’s will yet again. You call him John Wayne? I call him a prick who doesn’t give a shit about the fan base here whatsoever. Not that it apparently matters to you, him or the Spanos Klan. Line your pockets boys, you have the town sportswriter in your pocket, feel free to have your way with the town. You all can bite me collectively.

Sincerely,

CJ

Here We Go Again.

I have a theory as to why Nick Canepa performs this sort of literary fellatio on A. J. Smith. Let's call it the Almost Famous or Cameron Crowe effect. Smith talks to Canepa. He tells him things that make him feel special. He defends himself with Achilles-like charisma and Canepa eats it up by the spoonful like so much Trojan widow.

The problem is, anyone with half a mind knows that A. J. Smith isn't an idiot. While I'll admit I don't see the wisdom in letting a player like Edwards leave at this crucial point, I do see the point. I see the forest, the trees, hell I can even see the little Smurf houses tucked away within. The best part is, A. J. himself gives away his master plan again and again. He's building a team for the future. The future, people.

Let me explain. This team may make the playoffs with a first time starting QB this year. It may go far in the playoffs with a terrible secondary this year. Both of those things MIGHT happen. But let's be realistic. Probably not. And it's especially unlikely if half your team-the half that has to keep the other high scoring AFC West competitors out of the end zone-doesn't have it's most productive performer over the last several years. And if this team doesn't somehow overcome and accomplish those lofty goals, this town will, for the most part, turn their backs. San Diego loves a winner, and on those rare occasions that our franchises supply one, we are voracious in our support. But this town abhors a loser, and when those good times are so far and few between, forgive us when we exit the bandwagon, even prematurely. A stadium vote after another "underachieving" year will be a joke.

So I say to you all, the future team that A. J. Smith is building is not the San Diego Chargers. It is the Los Angeles "Whatevers." And I don't care what this douche bag tries to sell you, Marty ain't going to be there and A. J. IS trying to run him out. It isn't easy getting rid of a coach like Marty when you are doing your best to pull the wool over the eyes of the fans in order to sell the last couple of season ticket packages. We remember the last time a GM in this town ran out a winning coach. And we sure as hell remember the decade that followed. So screw you A. J. Smith. And screw you Nick Canepa for believing and spreading this tripe. And screw you Los Angeles "Whatevers," but for now, go Bolts!!!

Part II

Good Lord today is a fine day. I wake up to find that the rain continues raining out baseball games across the land. Basketball goes on to the playoffs without people with sore backs, a favorite linebacker whom I have had occasion to meet a couple of times may be leaving town, and one of the potentially better pass rushers on our squad is doing his best to prevent seizures. Geez, it’s a good morning. Thanks to MC for keeping this place warm as well. We missed you buddy.

So, when we last left this spot we were busy trying to explain why the new quarterback situation is not the dire plot that the mass voice would lead you to believe. Fear not folks, the squad is in shape, the schedule is set and there is no one in their right mind that should be complaining about ‘how tough it is, waahhahahahahahhhaaaaa!!’ like we had last year. The tears can no longer drip between the keys on the board and the new quarterback is going to be fine. Why you say? Let’s see if this helps…

Much as everyone that is armed with a keyboard and an audience of more than three would like you to believe, Team Phillip (I’m experimenting with a nickname, I’m gonna try a few, feel free to tell me which ones suck) is not a rookie. Yes, I know that he will be taking his first snaps as a starter, and that his experience is limited primarily to kneeling on the ball for Marty. But let’s get to business here. Drew is gone, we got that, and I don’t want to come off like I didn’t like him, I did. But he’s gone, it was the right decision and I wish him all the best, you will never convince me we made a mistake. So in comes New Guy #17. Seventeen had a college career that is nothing to be ashamed of. I am not always a huge numbers guy, in my opinion, numbers can be put together to even make old #16 look good. I actually typed his name there, threw up on the keyboard and erased it. Bottom line is, The Kid put up numbers in college and that’s a good start.

Seventeen has been sitting back and babysitting clipboards in this system for two years now. He learned a successful system that is loaded with tools. He has prepared himself well and knows how the offense works. Now, I don’t know who keeps forgetting that Seventeen has #21 lining up behind him on every snap. Last time we checked in with 21, he was at the top of his game and near the top of the league as an offensive player. Ask Ty Law, or Adam Archuletta if 21 can carry the load for this team. It’s a tremendous ease on a young quarterback if you have a solid running game. Check, yep, we got one of those.

Seventeen also has at his disposal, that other guy. What’s his name? I think he wears 85. Hmmm, Eric Seivers… wait no that’s not it… Oh yeah, that’s that Antonio guy. He’s pretty good. And the last time I checked, no one can really cover him and he is a quarterback’s best friend. Seventeen to Eighty Five is going to be a popular call this year. Wow, this doesn’t look that bad does it?

We are also staffed with a receiving corps that benefits from the presence of 85 and 21. Keenan still gets it done, E. Parker is one of the more underrated route runners in the league, and the potential emergence of Vinnie Jack is going to only contribute further. The difference this year is that Seven can get the ball to those guys on the deep route better than Nine did. He can. You can’t dispute that. Go back and watch some film and see how many times guys were under thrown or flat out missed on the deep route. Do it. You will be surprised.

With these viable options the game is simplified for Seventeen. The pieces are in place. You couldn’t ask for a better situation as a first year starter. Seventeen has to be thinking, “You mean, I get to go in there with Tomlinson, Gates, and the Crew? Cool.” This isn’t some second string scout offense he will be running. He is lining up with pro bowlers every week. You can’t get any more dialed in than that. If success is not achieved, we may have to reevaluate the talent level of this guy. Loosely translated, that means, if you can’t have success in this offense, you just might not be any good. You in fact, just might suck. So, we will know very soon how good this guy is. It’s time to play and find out. Ask Brady or Reuengrueter if they would have liked to have those guys around them when they got their first starts. Oh yeah, those guys have about 4 diamond studded paper weights between them, and they succeeded with less than Seventeen has the benefit of. I’m not scared, why are the rest of you?

Finally and this is not fun for me, but check out how many game winning comebacks that Nine had. I can’t really remember too many. I remember a game tying one in the playoffs, but alas, that one fell a little short. Drew got it done to a certain extent, but we were either blowing teams out or losing. There weren’t too many close ones that fell on Nine’s shoulders to win. Is that important? Yeah, I think so. Drew will have success as he always has, but I don’t think he will ever lead a team to the promised land. At least I haven’t seen any evidence yet that he would. Sorry to ruin the party.

It’s Seventeen’s time now. We won’t be disappointed.

Maybe She Was Having a Seizure. Do Headlocks Stop Seizures?

Any chance this will have an effect on the decision to move Donnie Edwards? In Shaun Phillips' defense, sometimes the ladies just be asking for the headlock treatment. And the San Diego Police Department has a long history of attacking professional athletes.

History Repeating.

So now A.J. Smith wants to trade Donnie Edwards? Unbelievable. A proven team leader who has said that he would like to play in San Diego for three or four more years and retire. Wait, this sounds familiar. Who am I thinking of? Ooh, it's on the tip of my tongue. Whatever. I'm sure it'll come to me.

So, you've got a team poised to do great things (first time starting QB permitting), and you get rid of the indisputable heart of your emerging defensive unit? The guy who's seen it all and can offer some guidance to the neverending stream of rookie defenders you rely on to make your defensive scheme run? Who do you expect to step up? Quentin Jammer? Not likely. Shawne Merriman? Sure, the guy has proven himself to be a superb talent, gifted speaker and all around great personality, but that's still a lot to put on a guy who's going into his second year. Whoever it is, I hope they do a better job than Marcellus Wiley.

And for those of you who want to see Marty out the door, I hope you're happy. Because that is what this is really all about. A. J. loves his guys, and Donnie Edwards is a Marty guy. We'll have a new coach next year, and I'm sure that makes a lot of people happy. Before you go and start putting up San Diego Chargers Superbowl Champion banners, though, let me throw a few names at you. Kevin Gilbride. Mike Riley. June Jones, for Christ's sake! Be careful what you wish for. Suck it, A. J.

I Feel The Need To Explain.

Let me go ahead and expound upon my disdain for Mr. Smith. Many people seem to forget, this entire mess might never have reared it’s ugly head, and A.J. would have gotten his way long ago, if he hadn’t tried to play hide the dollar with Philip Rivers in the first place. Now, you can say that it was Rivers and his agent, but let’s be realistic. Smith pulled this garbage with Gates and, in my opinion threw away our opening game against Dallas and whatever momentum we might have garnered from a victory there. Then he pulled it with Shawn Merriman who only ended up starting, what, 9 or 10 games last season as Defensive Rookie of the Year. I doubt he could have been much of a factor in those first two losses.

The common denominator here is Smith. Not the Poston Bros. Not Rosenhaus or Condon. Smith. Or more accurately, the Charger organization. Butler did it. Beathard did it. The Chargers have a rich history of pissing off veterans and not getting 1st rounders into camp. I can only imagine the Spanos’ GM evaluation worksheet:

Would you describe yourself as a(n)___?

A) Spendy little bitch

B) Sound financial investor

C) Tight-fisted shrewish bastard

You answered C. Welcome aboard, here’s your corner office.

Let me be clear, I really liked Brees, but the truth is, I’m excited to see the Philip Rivers era begin. I have high hopes. But if this team falls apart and fails because of this, I will be more than happy to throw Smith under the bus. And then get in the bus. And drive it. Okay, I don’t really know how to drive a bus, but you get the idea. Screw it, go Bolts!!!

A.J. Smith Is A Big Fat Winner

Let me preface this by saying that I think Canepa is a douche bag 98% of the time, and this falls into that percentile.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/sports/canepa/20060330-9999-1s30canepa.html

A few things I don't like here:

1)The subtle dig at Brees early on, "If we think you're worth enough, you're going to get paid.”

2)He didn't sign LeCharles Bentley, and presumably any other big free agents, because he knew he would get a 3rd or 4th round pick next year if he didn't? I think the disparity between LeCharles Bentley and a 3rd or 4th is enough to make this one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.

3)The not so subtle dig at Brees at the end, “I don't care who holds the trophy over his head.”

See, this is my big problem with this guy. The ego. He is completely unlikeable, and not only does he know it, he embraces it. He feels like Brees and his agent slighted him in the public eye, and he may be right, but there was certainly grounds for it. Brees did all he could in a high pressure situation to compete at the highest possible level with the promise of a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and in the end, the team's management basically turned their back on him. Do I think the team was wrong? No. But to not acknowledge the fact that Brees' hurt feelings had some amount of justification, and instead make digs like the preceeding, shows an almost Leafian level of "neener neener neener" childishness in a grown man. I don't know if I'll ever actually like this guy, even if all his moves turn out to be the right ones.

The Explanation. Part I...

So it has been but a few weeks since we found out that the team that resides for the time being here in San Diego would not be retaining the services of one Drew Brees. Feedback around town has been divided like a province in the Middle East, well, no that would suggest that there is a bit of unity here in town. There isn’t. Not even a bit. So it’s my duty to try to unite the city, one city, under sunshine, with belief in our new squad leader, Phillip Rivers but that comes later…

On the surface and to those not in the know, it might appear that we made a mistake by not resigning our designated leader. But, as we have covered here and need not rehash ad nauseam, but our quarterback was injured. Seriously. He was. A torn labrum is not something that is easy to recover from. Add to that a torn rotator cuff, which I know a little bit about, you are talking about a climb uphill somewhere between Mt. Whitney and Everest. Not that it can’t be done mind you, but it’s a bit more than a difficult task. Can Drew recover from it? If anyone can he will. Will he be the same? No one really knows. But there are problems with the situation that he found himself in and blame can only be placed on the people that allowed him to play in week 17. That’s it. Unfortuately, the worst thing that could have happened short of a mysterious spot on your tingly parts after a trip to T.J., happened to Drew that week…

I’d number the problems and rank them in order of importance, but they are so numerous, and almost really equally important, so in no particular order:

A quarterback with a sub par, I mean below avera…, I mean ‘good arm’, hurt his good arm. Now, I’m not an expert, but if you are making a paycheck and you significantly injure the part that makes you a paid professional athlete, sorry, but you’re out of luck. Sorry. It’s just the way it is. Sorry. Get over it. When your arm strength isn’t your strength, and you hurt your arm, there’s the door. Sorry.

Now, I can understand if you are under contract, say five or six years on your deal, millions of dollars still to pay on that deal, and you hurt your gunslingin’ arm, well you might get another shot. You might even compete for the starting job, you might even be the favorite for that slot, but when you hurt your moneymaker and you have no contract, sorry. There’s the door. Happy trails. Don’t look back…

Ohh, and when the guy that is backing you up is the number one draft pick for the guy that seems to specialize in drafts, and oh by the by, has a long term deal. The kind of long term deal that has most of the guaranteed money already in the kid’s bank account, job security is not your friend. In fact, when you’re hurt, demand top dollar, have no deal, and the number one draft pick behind you does, not only do you not have job security, you don’t have a job. Sorry, there’s the door. Sorry.

Yes. There was a mistake made in our organization. The last day of 2005 marks that day. Drew shouldn’t have been playing. That’s the mistake. It’s unfortunate, tragic, demoralizing and awful that it happened, but it did. Get over it. He’s gone. There are no more mistakes. There was one, and that’s done and it’s over.

And you radio guys that insist on the fact that the organization made a mistake by not resigning Drew, you’re wrong. And spending time in the morning trying to prove that the organization made a mistake by telling us that Drew is rehabbing great and can now throw a football to a five yard target, that’s great. I’m pretty sure Phil can do that, I’m pretty sure I can do that, and my six year old niece is getting pretty close, she can hit about one in three from that distance. It doesn’t mean you’re healthy, it doesn’t mean your arm is fine, and it doesn’t mean that you get 60 MILLION BUCKS!!!! It doesn’t . When will you realize that? When will you realize you’re wrong? Sorry. Get over it. Sorry. He’s gone. Sorry. He isn’t coming back. And the guy coming in isn’t half bad....

Goodbye and Good Luck...

It’s officially final and finally official. Mr. Drew Brees is now a member of the one and only New Orleans Saints. A team that cost me $50 last year in their season opener by playing with all kinds of unwarranted emotion have once again left me disappointed. Oh, wait, no they didn’t. They just proved to me to be at the front of the pack in terms of ‘Sports Owners that I Know More Than” group. In what amounts to me as a questionable decision, the Saints have offered and it has been accepted, a 6 year 60 million dollar deal with a 10 million dollar signing bonus. Now as I sit here and read this over and over again, I am struck a bit puzzled as to why you would do this as a the owner of a professional sports franchise. It is difficult for me to see justifying this deal on any level, which brings me great disappointment. There have not been too many quarterbacks for our franchise in my lifetime that I have been able to grow accustomed to. Once again this holds true, as the hard to love Drew Brees leaves town for good. And in all honesty, if that is truly the money it was going to take to keep the guy with injury, I’ll help him pack his stuff and send him on his way with a smile and a pat on the back. Seeing as how I can’t really articulate what thoughts are assaulting the inside of my skull right now, I am switching to bullet format. Enjoy...

-This deal: 6 years/ $60 million, $10million dollar signing bonus, is universally out of this world ludicrous. I would have been disappointed had the Chargers even approached this mark for a one armed man. I wonder if I can get the Benson’s on the phone and tell them I have some property in the 9th Ward with minor water damage for sale???

-Timeline:

2002-2003- Drew Brees is our Quarterback. Drew Brees is not my favorite quarterback...

2004 - Drew Brees plays himself onto the favorite quarterback list...

2005 - Coaching staff does their part to deflect interest from Drew Brees’ regressing numbers to their own ineptness on the field...

12.31.2005- Drew Brees injures shoulder in meaningless game. Severity of injury downplayed. Coaching staff escapes ‘Barry Bonds Level’ scrutiny for their decision to start him...

03.14.2006- Drew Brees becomes a New Orleans Saint. I laugh uncontrollably at the terms of the contract. Unfortunately eating girl scout cookies at the time terms were announced. Same cookies are now growing in my lungs.

Drew Brees was a decent quarterback and an easy to like kind of guy when he was playing well. I don’t think that the Chargers, or more importantly, I would have ponied up the scratch for a 6 year/60 million dollar deal, even if the injury never occurred. Drew is a solid quarterback that had one great year, one decent year, and one and a half awful ones. Sorry, a $10 million per year quarterback he is not, even with two arms...

-Miami reportedly put Drew through a series of tests Monday to measure the progress of the rehabilitation. Obviously, they did not like what they saw enough that they went and traded a second round draft pick for Daunte Culpepper. The same Daunte Culpepper that has a $100 million dollar contract and had an interception to touchdown ratio last season prior to his injury of about 126:1. Or roughly the same ratio in Mammoth last weekend of guys to boobs.

-New Orleans in true New Orleans form, chose to ignore the fact that a torn labrum, combined with a torn rotator cuff is a serious career threatening type injury. Opting to focus on the derma band exercises that Drew has perfected post surgery. He is showing professional form raising and lowering his arm, stretching the resistance bands well, and is striving to be able to raise a donut, and turn multiple pages of a newspaper in the next month. But think, he is six weeks ahead in his rehab, no one thought he'd be turning pages of newsprint this quickly. Throwing the ball you say? Not important, as he will not be able to test that ability or lack there of until June or so. Logically that leads us to the conclusion that the Saints ownership just gave $10 million guaranteed to a guy who at the moment, cannot throw the ball. Good thing throwing a ball is not in the job description for a quarterback.

-Finally, as it would be I am saddened to see Drew go. He seemed like a good guy, liked the town and obviously worked very hard to become a good quarterback after what would be generous to describe as an inauspicious start. Things were pretty bleak there for a while. But, he did his best and with the mentality of a team we improved and got much better as the sum of our parts. Had the coaching staff not reverted back to their ultra conservative ways at times we may have achieved a higher degree of success. But, sad as it is to see him go, it’s time. An injury has wrecked his future here. No matter how much personal admiration and good feeling we hold for him, he is damaged goods now. Investing in him financially would be like buying a car with Louisiana Plates and a watermark on the dash. You may get a good deal, but you don’t know what you are getting. The funny part is the Saints didn’t really even get a good deal. They paid top dollar. And, it is being reported that Drew and his wife took out a full page ad to thank New Orleans for their new opportunity. The kind folks in the Big Easy decided to thank Drew by taking up a collection to pay for the ad so that Drew doesn't put a strain on his $60 million dollar savings... A new era begins in San Diego.

The Free Agent...

Since we last visited what has become a travesty and debacle here in the S.D. our quarterback was longing to regain his form on the golf course. Of course, he can’t lift or move his arm in any manner that would resemble a golf swing, throwing motion, or well, any move that would be designated useful at this time. This of course has management slightly more than concerned, enough so that there will be no franchise or transition tag assigned to Mr. QB. As of this Friday, our quarterback will be a free agent and will be free to sign with any team that will have him. This does not seem to concern our GM in the slightest.

So, it turns out that we can speculate as to who Mr. Brees will sign with this Friday. Now, who is in a position to take a chance on a one armed quarterback? Well, here is my take, you can decide if I am full of more BS than normal.

First, Miami. Of course with the powerhouse Sage Rosenfels and Gus Frerotte, they may be in the market for a quarterback. Any quarterback will do. There is a strong chance that they will give Mr. Brees a look…perhaps a contract.

Second, Dallas. I know they have the ever mobile and nimble Drew Bledsoe, but Drew is a local Texas guy, and that may go a long way down there. You know, those Texas folks can be pretty loyal to their cattle and their quarterbacks…

Third, Baltimore. Kyle Boller is still 24, and obviously having some trouble running the offensive show in murderland. This could very easily be Drew’s destination…

And finally, Houston. Same local Texas rules apply, and well, they draft one Reggie Bush, and well you have a Texans team that resembles the Charger team that Drew was in control of when Tomlinson had 100 receptions and 1000 yards on the ground. Reggie Bush reminds me a bit of that guy when he came into the league… just another thought as I try to convince myself that we will still have Drew running our team next year…

As far as the injury goes, it is a tough one. I know someone who has torn this particular type of cartilage in his shoulder, and it is not an injury that anyone wants. The procedure takes you out of the game for at least 6 months. That means no throwing, no lifting and basically no functional movement for the duration of that period. The shoulder really never regains total stability, and the problem is that it can continue to drop out of joint. It is a day by day injury, some days better than others. It will be a tough task to come back from this and regain your form in less than one year. Can it be done? Possibly. But obviously A.J. wants no part of a long term investment in this type of scenario.

The question now is can Phillip be the guy here. My position officially is yes. But, he needs stability. Stability he has now. He could not be in a better situation. He knows the system and he knows the guys he has around him are potent weapons. He needs to continue with the current system, that he has spent the last two years studying. If A.J. has his way, he gets his guy running the offense and ousts his coach. Before the injury, I would have supported this wholeheartedly. But now, Phillip does not need to have to commit another offensive system to memory. And, I would guess that Cam2, gets a coaching job next year, Marty goes the way of Mike Riley and June Jones, and we start all over again. Fun times here in San Diego, in what is possibly our last two years here in our town. Fun times…

Pro Bowling...

Well, the word on the street is that the footballing season is now officially over. It ended the way it should with a Manning throwing all kinds of errant balls. You know those guys love their errant balls.

Our guys made quite a showing in the big all star spectacular out there in the middle of the ocean. Merriman proved why he was there and why he would be a big part of the NFL for years to come. I am going to have to work on that dance of his…

Normally this is the time of year that the mandatory football blackout begins and all football talk is ceased until the preseason is 90% complete. But, in the interest of the offseason that is shaping up to be an exciting one, the posts will be fewer and supplemented with Padre talk a bit, so I have something to complain about (for example the battery that is shaping up of Klesko, Giles, Piazza, and Castillo, wow). And we will have the one armed, contractless quarterback updates as the super glue sets and the duct tape gets a bit frayed at the edges…

Extra Large?? Extra Bore...

Well the Forty is gone and the trophy has been awarded. One fat guy said goodbye to the game and hopefully not his treadmill along the way. A young quarterback did his best not to screw up the game and succeeded in that. And what was deemed a ‘sloppy’ game (some of us would use harsher language than that) ended mercifully sooner rather than later. The game really had no entertainment value at least for me, a couple of big plays that were the difference kept me from attempting to find something more interesting on the big box.

As far as I was concerned, once this game died, I needed no excuses to keep talking about it. Mediocre performances that will be forgotten on both sides of the field shortly after the trophy was awarded, were marred by some folks complaining and attempting to rationalize a loss, suffered primarily at the hands of the zebras. Not to dwell on this more than everyone else has already kicked the dead equine, but, before the fatal shots are fired at the zebras, the entire thing should be rehashed.

Four plays stood out to me when laundry hit the tire bits and fake grass. Obviously the first, the pass interference on Darrell ‘First Quarter MVP” Jackson. No other way to say this, but I think I saw one of the refs use his yellow hanky to pick up the pile of poop that fell out of his pocket when he pitched the flag. Seattle has a gripe here.

Second one, the holding call, the first one. Looked like a hold to me. In fact, when the play was developing I commented that they held. They got flagged for it. Penalty deserved.

Third, the low block penalty on the hairless Quarterback. More poop on the play, but rather inconsequential all things considered. The pick was damaging and the end result wasn’t due to the penalty on that play.

Fourth, the last holding call on Locklear. Sorry, but once again as this one developed I didn’t see the flag. I commented that they got away with a hold. To my surprise they didn’t actually get away with it. After replay, it was questionable, but at full speed it looked like a tackle to me. I’d have been pissed more than livid if that was Merriman that fell taking the corner on that play. No gripes here either Seattle. Sorry.

Now. Let’s focus on the real problem here. First, the Darrell Jackson touchdown that wasn’t. One foot in one foot off the orange touchdown thing. Touchdown. Nope. Incomplete. This was a head scratcher to me. If Kojak the Quarterback keeps the ball in bounds, well you know the rest. Twice at least I saw the Hasselhoff throw the ball out of bounds to open receivers. “We want the ball and we’re gonna score!!!”

Oh, and I almost forgot. The most crucial point of this concoction here. Not the clock mismanagement at both the end of the first and second halves. Nope, although that was pretty miserable stuff. Nope, it wasn’t the kicker doing his Jay Feely, twice. Nope. It was in fact the three passes that Jerramy Stevens continued to drop that would have resulted in first downs for the Seahawks, two of which were inside the Pittsburgh Red Zone. Those plays would have changed this game. Of that I am convinced.

Bottom line for me is that the officiating was the typical debacle that the game is accustomed to. It did not cost the Seahawks the game. If the Seahawks would look at their performance and the reasons why they lost, and then still come to the conclusion that they got jobbed, be my guest. They’d still be wrong and they’d be ignoring the real reasons why they choked on the biggest stage in the team’s history. No one wants to talk about that though. This was a very winnable game, in fact Pittsburgh did their best to piss it away. You choked and failed Seattle. Yes. You choked and failed. You should have been nicer to us when we visited in June. That’s it for me. Sorry if you don’t see it that way.

Football blackout begins with the final gun in the Professional Bowl game. Hopefully no more of our guys get career threatening injuries during the last four quarters of the year. September can’t get here soon enough…

Your Lack of Convictions are Astounding...

I don’t understand this whole Skip Bayless thing. His last two columns were about how Pittsburgh didn’t belong in the Bowling for Forties, while neither did the ‘Sea Frauds as he put it. Unfortunately for me, he cited all the reasons for the Seahawks mediocrity that I did a couple of days ago. So my big question is, if Pitt doesn’t belong, and Seattle doesn’t belong, who does?

Obviously, Skip’s pick was the Panthers who, yes were all banged up and couldn’t put forth their best effort against the Rainy Day Crowd Favorites. But, hey Skip, Carolina isn’t there, so you are going to, if you are a true professional, like someone in this game beyond a final score. You cannot continue to deride both squads about their downfalls without truly taking a stand or a position. Grow a pair Skip and stand on a conviction for once. If you think Pittsburgh is the team to beat in the big game, then realize that they deserve to be there by pounding the teams that were supposedly better than them en route to the Forty Bowl. Pittsburgh is a good team, it’s time to recognize that. They beat Cincy, they pounded Indy (with our game plan of course) and they pounded Denver. They proved they were the best in the AFC. Believe it you hack. And if you continue this charade of yours, you won’t be able to write anymore, because you will continue to prove yourself to be lacking talent and writing skill continuously in a public forum.

ESPN.com page 2 is where you can read more of his manure, columns, I mean columns. I refuse to link to him anymore. He does not need to add to his army of dislike. He is dangerously close to getting more than hate mail from a lot of people in this country. I feel incredibly sorry for him.

Skip Fiction...

I promised myself some time ago that I would get off Skip Bayless’ case when it comes to the negativity that floods his weekly columns. I decided that this week I would suspend that notion due to the fact that Mr. Bayless has once again lost his mind.

In his latest desperate plea for attention, Skip highlights his concerns about the ultimate bore that the annual Big Game will turn out to be. He discounts everything that the Steelers have accomplished this season. I am still waiting for the day that Skip decides he likes something enough to use his public forum to promote. In reading his column today, for many reasons I am refusing to link to, he pinpoints exactly all the places where Pittsburgh’s season could have, and should have gone wrong. First in the Cincy game, where Mr. Palmer suffered a potential rule changing injury at the hands of Kimo Von Olhauffenslausenvanderlaufen. If Carson isn’t hurt on the first offensive play of the game, Pitt loses. Fair enough, I can make that leap, it was early in the game, it was obvious Cincy was in complete control …(???)

Then, if Nick Harper doesn’t allow Ben Ruengrueter to make the tackle on his Bettis fumble recovery, Indy defeats the mighty Steel Curtain as well. Sure, makes sense to me. Further, if Champ Bailey, who doesn’t even have the desire to run the entire length of the field against the defending champs, picks off one of Ben’s early passes and returns it for a touchdown, the Donks win that one as well. And let’s go one step further, if the Donks don’t defeat the defending champs, Pitt dumps to them as well. So, after all of that, you can see that Pitt doesn’t deserve to be in the Big Game, let alone favorites as a 6 seed. Conveniently, in the NFC, the one seed plays in the worst division out there, nearly dumps to a niner team that won enough games to be in the Bush Bowl, dumps to the Giants who’s kicker mentally made the three field goals that he actually missed, and slipped past the Cowboys thanks to the ever clutch Drew Bledsoe. I can see how they should be favored in the Battle For the Forty Ounce Trophy.

I don’t think I will ever get tired of making fun of Skip. But I am still amazed that he cashes a check for this drivel every two weeks. I make stuff up for free, while he gets paid. Nice work Skip. Nice work.

Oh, and check out Deadspin to see my third favorite player in all his glory. Big Ben doing what young football millionaires should be doing...it's worth it, I swear on Skip's career.