What The Fuck?

So, I'm hanging around the proverbial watercooler when "Assmunch from marketing who dresses for work like he's going to the club but has a smoking hot girlfriend and a car that's better than me so I guess that works" comes up to me and says, "Hey, did you catch that game last night?" Naturally I told him that, while I did have the game on, I don't really pay attention during the preseason. Well, imagine my surprise when he fills me in on the fact that last night's craptacular shitfest actually fucking counted! No shit, the Giants actually get to keep that and are now 1/2 game above the field. And the Redskins? Well, they can't take it back and that means they are, oh I'd say about 15 games below the field, and with only 15 to go, things don't look so hot.

There's not a lot to say that you haven't seen or heard said already, but I'm gonna say a couple of things anyway.

1) Do the Redskins have no assistant coaches? Do they have assistant coaches, but they are all a-scared of Jim Zorn? I spent quite a large portion of the last quarter wondering why no one had thought to mention to Zorn that football games still only have four quarters.

2) Zorn? Is he the Tomax to Norv's Xamot? Not quite, but I'd be pretty stoked to find out we will end up with an inverse record to the Skins, because that means we'd have a really good chance of going undefeated. It's hard not to feel bad for guys like Clinton Portis (because you got to like the outrageous mutiple personality disorder) and Fred Smoot (because you got to like double-ended dildo shows).

3) What is up with NBC and their announcers spending the whole night comparing Eli's stats from the Superbowl to last night's game? How is one even remotely related to the other? Also, Eli and the Giants are getting an awful lot of credit for not being able to lay the wood on a team that was just laying there drugged and begging for it. Really going to need to work on some finishing moves, because after that performance (Brandon Jacobs steamroller impression excluded) I'd say the Giants only have a slightly better chance of making the postseason than that other "team" that took the field last night.

Okay, so now that I acknowledge football season has started, I guess it's time to fire up the brainpan and post with authoria;sgaiu rgncfgl;oving...huh- wha happened? I think my coworker slipped me a mickey there. I better run to the ER. Damn, though, those rape kits sting. Anyway, I'll try to have something more comprehensive up tomorrow. Here's a quck taste: I like the Bolts in the AFC West this year. Shhh. Go Bolts!!!