Returns...

After some hiatus and after wrangling fifteen brain cells together last night (sadly one perished in a terrible sushi accident) we finally have the return of the Friday Quick Hits. It’s been a while, hold on to your hats, for you will face an unbelievably life changing dilemma should they land in a public toilet. Not that I’d know... Anyway, here we go...

-Big thanks to the NFL schedule makers for 2005 for messing this week up tremendously. Denver v. Kansas City? Pittsburgh v. Cincy? Kitty Kats v. Helix High? Come on. How are we supposed to get into the playoffs when none of the outcomes of these games can help us??? Who am I supposed to root for here???

-Must See Game of the Week: Arizona at San Francisco. I haven’t checked but I’d be willing to bet that is the t.v. game in our region. Oh, and in case you were wondering Arizona is a three point favorite.

-Over/ Under of the Week: Arrests at the Murph this Sunday eve for our nationally telecast football game against the Dysfunctional Inbred Pirates: 11.

-Over/ Under #2 of the Week: Combined total of Eco Terrorists SUV arsons at local dealerships plus number of arrests at the game...27. Can somebody get Guy Hill a security guard or something?

-Sucker Parlay of the Week: Jacksonville Kitties and Peyton Loves Colts.

-Happy Realization of the Week: Not having to listen to Steve Tasker ramble on about God knows what this weekend during our football game.

-Sad Realization of the Week: Having to listen to Joe Theismann ramble on about everything else instead.

-Just for Fun: My Picks for the Week (Home Team in CAPS)

MIA -3.5
PIT -4
BALT -7.5
INDY -14.5
jax -3
NYG -3
CHI -7
DET +3
CAR -3
tb -3.5
SF +3
wash -3
NE -10
KC +1
SD -10.5
PHI +4

-Over/Under on how many I get correct.... 10.

-Favorite Number of the Week (besides 21): 2. The number of Raiders fans that I know personally that will be crying in their oatmeal on Monday morning.

-For Those of You Yet to See Light:
http://www.deadspin.com

And that brings us to the end of this edition of the QH. Hopefully I can catch a broadcast of the classic “A Christmas Story”, immediately following the destruction on Sunday night