Bay Area Blues...

Raider week has come and gone. As has been the case for the last couple of years now, the aforementioned squad was once again all bark no bite. As I pointed out here late last week, the Raiders mystique is all but gone. There is no intimidation, no bravado, no fight in that team. What you are left with is a bunch of guys with absolutely no leader, going through the motions on the football field. When the slightest bit of adversity befalls them, they quit. Literally quit. There is no other word to describe what happens to that football team. They quit. Again. There was a point in the second quarter as we continued to methodically drive down the field where you could just see the inevitable demise of a football team. This was a game that I felt that we were always one score away from winning; mind you this was in the second quarter.

For a quarter and a half it almost appeared that the Raiders had assembled a game plan. Run to set up the pass. Lamont Jordan got out to a decent start and looked like he might be the first this season to set out on a one hundred yard quest against us. Jammer and the gang seemed content to play off of Randy Moss, giving him the penalty free short stuff underneath; adopting a similar strategy that New England employed against T.O. in the Big Bowl. It seemed apparent that he was not at 100%mentally or physically, so give him that meaningless short stuff and don’t get beaten down field for a big play. We got a handle on the running game, got a turnover, and the plan was shot. As they all collectively mailed it in, this game was effectively done by halftime, Clinton Hart’s 70 yard interception through a sea of bobble head dolls did nothing more that further anger the Raider faithful that live upstairs. Last count it sounded like a table, two chairs and most of their pride had been thoroughly broken.

The second half was a lot of us being good completely dominating the third frame, and a whole lot more of Kerry Collins doing what he does, airing it out to every ball boy, line judge, and occupants of Section 34, Row 3. I think this might have been the most boring, anti-climactic game of the season. It was hard to enjoy things like Shawne Merriman being an absolute monster beast, flying through the air tackling everyone out on the field. I think Marty had to pull him aside at one point and remind him that we were wearing blue, and to keep the “Light Switch” turned off of those guys. The quarterback made a nice recovery from the less than stellar performance that we have all voted that he was entitled to last week. And the best running back in the league struggled a bit with something described as a rib injury, that he undoubtedly got injected with some kind of nuclear level pain killer at the half in order to finish out the game. Hopefully, there isn’t too much residual damage from whatever that was.

As far as damage to humans in the stands, 52 arrests, 70 ejections, and 17 misdemeanor cites mostly for folks who couldn’t seem to remember what the blue boxes that stink real nice in the parking lot are there for. No stabbings, no reports of anyone getting bitten or suffering from what I like to call Missing Ear Syndrome, or Van Gogh’s Disease which has been an issue at this game historically.

All in all it wound up exactly the way I thought it would. Not much seems to change in the land of Raider nowadays. Their search will continue this year for a competent coach as they are watching the playoffs once again. Unless of course you are listening to what Joe Theismann has to say, then Norv Turner will keep his job, undoubtedly get a substantial raise, and will battle Jim Haslett for Coach of the Year honors. Did I mention last week that listening to him makes me want to vomit up my colon with laughter? Not to mention the ridiculousness of what he was saying about Randy Moss all night. Yes Joe, we know he’s hurt. Yes Joe, we know he’s not a hundred percent. Yes Joe, he isn’t getting off of the line well. Yes Joe, he doesn’t look like himself tonight. Yes Joe, nobody can cover him when he is healthy. Hey Joe, they are down by 24 and he isn’t running patterns anymore. Yes Joe, he is a class guy, he’s a reverend, he’s a saint, never gotten into trouble anywhere and we all misunderstand him. Yes Joe, he once ran over a lady cop with his car. Go get your paycheck Joe. We should set up an all time death match between Steve Tasker and Joe Theismann, and have running commentary by the participants, you know, one of those ‘Wired for Sound’ segments they are always doing on Sunday nights. Nick Canepa can write the summary the following day. Everybody should check out Nick’s column today, I wrote
it last week...