Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Who'da Thunk It....

So here we are again. Up and down cardiac football yet again has blessed us with it's schizophrenic presence. As we've established around here, I've become somewhat prescient with interception predictions and as my recent record with my picks will attest, I'm good at nothing else football related.

For what amounts to the second week in a row, praise not vitriol can be directed towards the coaches. Ol' Norvy has surprised me for in consecutive weeks now and well, when the stone is rollin' far be it from me to get all mossy on it so, Norv you can rest easy as you get another week long respite from my ever increasing vocabulary of vulgarity. Congrats Norvy!

There is one thing that I will lay claim to being wholly responsible for. As I was awaiting my plane to arrive this past Friday there was a slight delay according to the big board outside the gate. By slight delay I mean big fucking red blinking "DELAYED" scolding me from the departures screen. A quick check with the gate attendant relayed the info that the plane was in route via Chicago from its original departure point, Philadelphia. Yep. So I waited. As Max has relayed, what I saw was not unlike an infestation of cockroaches and as those gate doors opened, off they scattered into the depths of our town. I had lost count as about 28 Westbrook jerseys assaulted my senses. To top it off, these were not the quiet type fans, these were the full strength battery chucking assfuckers you all love to hate. I'll spare you the gory detail as most of it included listening to these morons stumble through and mispronounce the most basic words, but did not spare me their pathetic attempts. One particularly larger woman, and by large I mean truck scale using, zoo MRI needing large, was particularly vocal. I kindly requested that she sprain her ankle and get a concussion on the way to the bathroom. I've not felt the daggers from another human's eyeballs so sharp since the "Where's your bag?" incident from 2004. But, that was obviously the cause of the actual Westbrook's concussion during the game, so for that, you are all welcome.

So, what's on tap for the Donks this week? Believe me, I'm far beyond guessing, but I'm pretty sure it involves Shawne Merriman, an assault charge and a civil lawsuit. But I'll be leaving the prognosticating to Max from here on out.

Nice work Bolts, keep it set on kill this week. I need not tell you that this is a relatively important game.

Back tomorrow with the new weekly feature, The Rant.

1 comment:

Maximum Colossus said...

inappropriate! This post is insensitive towards the following things:

Fat people
The city of Philadelphia
Airport bathrooms
Brian Westbrook

Clean up your act, CJ, this is a family blog. And that family LIVES in an airport bathroom.