Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Friends talking football via e-mail

I am a member of an e-mail thread that is run by a friend of mine from college who travels the world, and has written an NFL ranking algorithm which he uses to rank the teams each week. The rankings are sent to the e-mail thread, and lots of smack talk generally ensues.

There are Giants fans, Cowboys fans, Eagles fans, WAY too many Broncos fans, and I think I may be the only Charger fan. It can be tough to listen to the chum that is stirred up in there, but it's sometimes funny too... and every now and then, I chime in. I thought I'd share a couple of recent ones that I contributed. Enjoy!

Post 1:

Mike (Packer fan), go easy on Scott (Giants fan and the author of the algorithm). His poor team had to go into a bye week with the image of Philip Rivers going all Philip Rivers on them and leading a game winning drive down their field ending in a TD to VJ in the back of the end zone. Oy.

(after Scott complained about not having access to a proper PC for the latest week's calculations) Scott, I can lend you a windows PC when you get here… Let me just “prep” one for you with my special version of Microsoft Excel that includes some preset macros to help counteract Donkey fans overexcitement about a good start to a long season. Looks like they might be going from the Bronc-os to the Bronc-oh-nos! (again). Well, we’ll see… big game this Sunday! Chargers get a chance for payback. Hopefully the Donks aren’t counting on 14 points from kick returns this time. Go Chargers!!

Post 2:

It looks like Orton may indeed start in Sunday’s Broncos vs. Chargers. That’s probably a good thing, because Chris Simms not only seems to have trouble making the ball go through the air toward a teammate, but he also really doesn’t fit the Broncos Quarterback mold at all. Allow me to demonstrate… Let’s look at the recent Denver QB’s:

And now, Mr. Simms:

He looks way too awake! And that hair? That’s no mop! You need to grow that out and then brush it down forward over your eyes, man! Stop smiling… turn that smile upside down. And hang that head… And when was the last time you shaved? Whenever it was, it was way to recently. Luckily, I have worked up a prototype image to send to Simms. He can use this as a model, and hopefully he can achieve something close to this look by Sunday, in case he is called in to helm the Broncos.

That’s better.

Go Chargers!!!


Maximum Colossus said...

The Simms picture is glorious. If he showed up looking like that, I might actually be worried.

Tenacious E said...

Great post