Saturday, November 21, 2009

It's Exciting To Be Excited!

It occurred to me earlier today that for the last two years, at this point in the season, I have been pissed off in regards to football; More specifically, I've been pissed off at my team. Underachievement and poor coaching were the hallmarks of the first half of those seasons. Well, don't look now, but times have changed. Suddenly, we are achieving at an appropriate level and we are not too poorly coached. Talk about improvement! Seriously, though, over the last four weeks this team has been really good. Sure, the Raiders and Chiefs suck, the vaGiants are descending and the Eagles are in the midst of their yearly swoon, but you can't pick your opponents (this isn't college football, for crying out loud), you can only beat them. And that's what we've been doing.

We need to beat Denver. It's as simple as that. If we lose this game, we'll be effectively two games out and in danger of a karmic beatdown. Remember last year when we went to the postseason at 8-8, while the 11-5 Patsies stayed home? Yeah, that could be us if we're not careful. By nearly all accounts we should murder this team (I think Vegas actually has the Broncos giving us 2.5, but my theory is that Broncos fans gamble more than Mexicans). Orton's hurt, and that supposedly is a big deal. The Broncos are reeling. The Chargers are flying. We are set up to announce our presence with authority. That worries me. We are terrible at being favored. I can not remember the last time we covered a sizable spread or won a Superbowl with a 14-2 record. So here's what I want to see. I want to see a little twisting of the knife. If I see our defense drop into prevent midway through the second quarter with a two score lead, I will absolutely lose my shit. If we start hammering away at the middle of the line with our inconsistent running game to the effect of 3-and-out after 3-and-out I will start a fucking letter writing campaign the likes of which hasn't bee seen since CJ solicited the Governator to help free his mom from a Puerto Rican jail for trying to smuggle 10 kilos of uncut powder out of the country in her snapper. Seriously, Locked Up Abroad: Episode 12, check it out. I want to see bombs flying. I want to see Denver children crying. Hell, I want to prove to Nick Canepa that I can like Norv Turner just fine if he stops being such a loser. Let's get this done.

Now for another quick Cut. I watched the highly acclaimed documentary Anvil: The Story of Anvil last night and I gotta say I just don't fucking get it. When did we start glamorizing all the shittiest things that happened in the 80s? Or the 80s themselves for that matter? I mean, I spent some of my formative years in the 80s, and while their was some good stuff-the resurgence of skateboarding, for example-there was a shitload of lame crap going on. Meth took hold in the 80s, y'know? Butt Rock retards like Anvil? Horrible. You can put Slash in your documentary (actually, more of a commercial for their 14th album), but that doesn't put you on a level with GnR. I don't admire a couple of guys too stupid to give up or evolve, and I don't feel sorry for them either. This movie reminded me of The Wrestler, another gritty take on a shitty form of entertainment. That movie was so REAL, you know? About as real as the toothless guy at the bar who bends your ear around tales of his rockin' youthful exploits while you're trying to order a drink. All you really want is for him to shut up and leave you alone. Bartender?!

Who gives a fuck about Anvil? There are a shitload of bands that sucked too much to succeed, even if they did play big in Japan. On a side note, I once wrote a review of a CD for a band called Big in Japan. Kind of generic, but not terrible. Anvil? Shitty. F-. I'd rather be hung by my thumbs. You're fucking cut!

Chargers 28, Broncos 20. Go Bolts!

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