That GPS Machine Fucking Sucked...

What is this? What the hell is this thing? I mean I see some little buttons. The sort of squarish. They got little shapey things on 'em...kinda look like some shit I seen in the Kama Sutra... and what the fuck is that light up blinky thing up top? It's got like pictures and some of those same shapes from the buttons. What is this place? What the fuck is a football? Who the fuck are the Chargers? Who the fuck turned the Lights Off?

After a long hiatus I'm back. You all probably didn't even realize I was gone. I spent the year traveling around Europe hanging out with some supremely unbelievable types talkin' bout wars and real estate problems, gas prices, tellin' me that $22 American dollars isn't enough for a Big Mac and a hooker in some French back alley. What the fuck would the French know about hookers and Big Macs anyway, all they know is the pure unadulterated speed of a dead sprint fleeing from everything even remotely threatening. Like a chihuahua. Put those fuckers up agains that Usain Bolt in a race, tell 'em there's a rabid gerbil with scabies behind 'em. World Records will fall my friend. They will fall...

After that particular jaunt across that scab of a country I'm back. I'm cleansed. I've distanced myself from the disappointment of that particular playoff game that is not to be mentioned. I'm past it I fucking tell you, just don't ever fucking bring it up again. I've handled the coaching 'transition' as I'm bound legally to refer to that debac...uh, situation. I sat through a season watching with a cautious eye and an unhealthy level of skepticism, but hey, that's all behind us. Including that final game of last season, with that one guy, what's his nickname again? Sitting there freezing his future hall of fame balls off glued to the bench while the rest of the squad tried valiently in his honor to beat the juggernaut. Now is not the time to express my opinions on past events, much like everyone else in this world, my opinion is about as worthwhile as the dump I left in the toilet this morning. Fuck it. It's a new year, a new season and it's less than 10 fucking days away...

It's been a long journey. Many a country have been traversed, many a women were bed, many a bone were broke. Some surgery was required (more on that later), some chainsaw's were necessary, some boats nearly sank, or didn't but fuck you it's my story I'll tell it however the fuck I want to. I'm back, like it or not I'm back. And have we got some shit in store for you.

We got it all and they haven't even kicked the motherfucker off yet. We got a linebacker that is more beast than man, right or wrong he's got gigantic balls. We got our running back back, we got the quarterback back, and well, we got the coaches back too. And even that bad ass motherfuckin' John Wayne Corleone, yep the one annointed Godfather. That man is half Darth Vader, half Freddy Kreuger, and half Satan. Yep, that's three halfs, it makes a whole bad ass man. It's all back my friends.

So is this the year? Is it the one? Can you feel the burn? Antibiotics can't cure that my friend, football is here and I for one am balls deep on down the road ready to roll. Oh, glorious day.

This Explains...

...why TBE was rockin' the Kimbo Slice look on Monday night.

Solid.

Merriman to play in 2008

Much to the dismay of Quarterbacks around the league, it looks like the beast will play this season despite having no knee:

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3556123

He'll be roundly criticized for this decision, but I'm ok with it so far. Say it takes 4 or 5 months of rehab after the surgery. Even if he hurts it at some point this season and then has to have it rebuilt, he'll still have time to heal up for next season. Might as well squeeze whatever juice is left out of it first. That way, teams have to game plan for both him and Tucker, depending on the wobbliness of the wheel. Plus, he'll be suited up and able to do his pre-game center of the huddle dance-yell-chant thing that's always on TV. It also gives some credence to the idea that there is real belief within the players' minds that big things could be happening this year.

I'll skip the play on "Lights Back On" or whatever, and just say, GO CHARGERS!!! Bring on the season!!

I Can't Wait For The Regular Season.

Courtesy of Kissing Suzy Kolber:

That's Some Whacky Fun!

I guess the team is about 1000% behind Norvy these days. It's hard not to like the guy after something like this.
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Okay, if I was to tell you how hard it is to find a screen cap of Napoleon at the Waterloo water park from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adveture you would not believe me. It is, though. It's impossible to find. And don't try finding a clip on YouTube either. Im-fucking-possible! Would have really tied this post together, but no dice. So you're going to have to imagine it. Napoleon. Water wings. Longjohns. Hilarity of the greatest calibre. If you're not laughing your ass off then your imaginator is on the fritz. Anyway, thanks for sending the article along, Tenacious E. As a reward I promise not to completely humiliate you in our FF league this season. Only partially, suckah!

Crap!!! Crappity, Crap, Crap, Crap!!!

This Merriman thing is starting to take flight now. It's all over Sports Center this morning as well as the radio, so it may be a bit more than a rumor. Of course, the word for now is [possibly]season ending, and so far no one besides the previous dickhead is saying anything about career ending as far as I've heard. Fear not, however, because if I know anything about football movies, they'll just shoot him up with drugs before every game and he'll die on the field in the Superbowl. So hey, Superbowl!

If there is any truth in all this and Merriman actually misses the entire season it will be very interesting to see how it effects the Vegas line. If it changes dramatically you should all go throw your money on the Bolts, because we'll still win the whole shebang, it just won't be as gory.

Go Bolts!!

P.S. While CJ and I were off becoming professional wakeboarders in the Great Northwoods of Minnesota, he told me he was all hyped up about getting things off the ground here at Super Chargers and that he already had his first post written up in his brain and ready to go. Well, it's been about a week now and I think it's safe to say that CJ is a big ole fucking liar. I guess it's up to me again; I'll try not to let you down.

Okay, This Would Be Terrible...

...but is there anything in the following that gives you any reason to believe this is more than a media freak-out concoction?

WHISPERS BEGIN REGARDING MERRIMAN’S CONDITION
Posted by Mike Florio on August 21, 2008, 12:22 p.m. EDT
In the wake of a report that Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman visited with renowned orthopedist James Andrews regarding Merriman’s knee, we’re hearing that there is quiet concern within the organization that Merriman could be done, after only four NFL seasons.
Merriman had arthroscopic knee surgery during the offseason. He made the trip to Alabama to see Dr. Andrews because of persistent pain in the knee. (Curiously, there’s a conflict between the two major San Diego papers regarding the identity of the doctor who performed the procedure. The North County Times says that it was Andrews. The Union-Tribune claims that it was team physician David Chao.)
Officially, coach Norv Turner says he isn’t worried. “My concern will be if it lingers,” Turner said Wednesday. “Hopefully, it won’t linger and hopefully in the next week to 10 days, he’s going to be all right and ready to get going.”
As we hear it, there’s already concern, behind the scenes. Nothing may come of it, and Merriman might end up being fine. But the team is definitely worried about the possibility that Merriman could be done.
“He’s had some soreness,” Turner said. “I think he wants to make sure he gets it checked out and make sure everything is all right with it. When he’s been able to practice and move around, he’s looked awfully good to me.”
There’s no denying that Merriman is awfully good. But, like most athletes, it’s hard to do much of anything with a bum knee.

Fucking seriously? Didn't Brett Favre take a shit today or something? These assholes gotta make something up?

Nevermind.

Favre to the Jets. Everyone can go back to sucking now.

The Latest On Favre

So now it's being reported that Favre will most likely end up in Tampa Bay. That makes sense since Tampa Bay is juuuuust good enough that Favre might actually be able to convince himself they are only a Favre away from winning the Superbowl. They're not, but that's cool, because this deal would mean that Jeff Garcia would probably become a free agent and the Vikings are probably only a Jeff Garcia away from facing the Bolts in the Superbowl. And then losing, but hey, they'd get there, and I like the Vikings just fine being that I originally hail from the Land of 10,000 Lakes. Sadly, no matter what happens at this point, even when the Chargers actually win the Superbowl, the only thing anybody will remember about this season is Favre leaving Green Bay. Ah, screw it, I'll remind them all happily. Go Bolts!!!

My $.02 On Favre

So, I guess I'll go ahead and throw out my opinion on this Favre thing cause that's how I like to roll. Originality is key. If by originality you mean showing up late with a half empty 12-pack of Coors Light, but I digress.

Here's Tim Sullivan's take, which is your typical "old guy who's overstaying his welcome standing up for the old guy who's overstaying his welcome" piece. It's a widely shared sentiment in journalist circles right now. Everybody thinks Green Bay is crazy. I think a number of things are being overlooked here.

1) I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the Packers wholeheartedly believe that the team around him was as responsible if not more so than Favre for the season they had last year.

2) I also think the organization probably blames Favre for literally throwing away the playoffs last year.

3) The organization is well aware of the success beginner QBs have been having over the last several years (see Roethlisberger, Manning, Rivers, Romo, Palmer...etc.) and wouldn't mind adding their own name to the list.

BA GM AJ is right in this article. The Packers are looking at building a future team with lasting postseason returns, and Favre is no longer part of that vision. Of course, they'll be crucified if they're wrong. Glad they're not my team. Go Bolts!!!

Post. Script. If you're wondering, I think he ends up a ViQueen. That's how much he's pissed off.